Trafford Publishing: The Tao of Tango

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The Tao of Tango

by Johanna Siegmann

151 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #00-0074; ISBN 1-55212-410-X; US$18.00, C$21.00, EUR14.50, £10.50

How to achieve balance in your life through Tango .... even if you can't dance.

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About the Book About the Author Reviews Sample excerpts Catalogue Information

About the Book

I'm meeting all the wrong people.
Nobody listens to me.
My temper is out of control.
Men find me "intimidating".
Women think I'm a "wuss".
I can't seem to finish anything.
How can I be a better friend/lover/boss/whatever?
My male/female energies are out of balance.
What the heck are male and female energies?
And what does Tango have to do with any of this?

With its thoughtful, light-hearted insights and simple physical exercises this book will help you achieve the coveted "balance" that affects every aspect of your life. Discover how this 100-year-old dance can lead you to a more balanced life.

Even if you can't dance.
Visit the author's website at www.taooftango.com
Spanish version also available at El Tao del Tango

About the Author

At the tender age of 4, a light bulb went on over Johanna's head. Literally. Although born in New York, she moved with her family when she was three to a tiny Mexican town where milk was still delivered on donkeys. The only blond in town, she really stood out on the Cinco de Mayo parade float she rode, patting out tortillas. One night, on a bare plywood stage lit by naked light bulbs, she did the twist for her kindergarten recital in front of a gaggle of adoring parents. And even if a star was not born, the glow of that little bare bulb never left her. When she was five she moved to Mexico City, and attended the American School from which she eventually graduated. Apparently, that got the travel bug going, and she was very fortunate to trot around the world, visiting most of Western (and some of eastern) Europe, a good chunk of South America, Africa, India/Nepal, Mexico, the Caribbean, the United States, and Canada.
Johanna received her B.A. in English and American Literature from Pitzer College in Claremont, CA, (with a semester abroad in England) and returned to Mexico where she began a short-lived career as a copywriter in advertising. Her work brought her to New York where, after four years of "bigger, better, and improved", she headed the call of that bulb from the past: acting. In the ensuing years her writing was put on hold until several years after her move to California. In the aftermath of a divorce, she was introduced to the Argentine Tango, an event that would prove to be a turning point in her life. The floodgates were thrust open and Johanna began writing again, completing several articles, a couple of plays, a handful of short stories, and, of course, The Tao of Tango.
Johanna has been dancing the Tango since 1995, performing in the U.S. and abroad, and has been a private coach and practice partner for several years. More recently she has developed a workshop based on The Tao of Tango, which has met with great enthusiasm.
Besides writing, Johanna also directs plays, enjoys hiking in the hills around her home in Los Feliz, California, and has a fetish for felines - a trait her darling beloved tolerates bravely.

What people are saying about TAO OF TANGO:

"The Tao of Tango is emphatically not a dance book (although the author, Johanna Siegmann has learned the Tango so that the reader never has to), but rather the ultimate self-help book on the way men and women view relationships. Written specifically to be accessible to both genders, The Tao of Tango includes physical exercises to heighten the senses. Author Johanna Siegmann compares male and female energy, known as Yang and Yin, to archetypal tango dancers, and from this draws insight for the reader to ponder long after he or she finishes this slim book. Fresh, unique, and definietly a brand new twist on the Tango."
James A. Cox, The Midwest Book Review, Sept 2001 edition.
"Life, after all, is a Tango - the male and female energy in each of us engaged in a dance to strike the right balance." - The Tao of Tango
"The Tao of Tango The Tao of Tango" is one of the most compelling, thought-provoking, informative and sensitive books I have ever read ... The use of the Tango as a metaphor for the "dance of life" is beautiful and profound in its simplicity...your spirit will dance with this one.
Nick Lawrence, Host of "Straight Talk" @ weeu.com
Johanna offers a way to understand the harmony that exists in the Tango couple and outside it. To do so she uses a frame of reference which may or may not coincide with that of the reader, but which [whether] seen as an exacting description of the laws that rule the interaction of the couple, or seen as a metaphor, [offers a] multitude of interesting reflections and fortunate clues that help us understand not only the specific nature of the Tango relationship, but its general application to other areas of life...We find pieces of our own lives in this book*seemingly caught mid-motion. It is not a still, frozen picture, but an intense, dynamic and vital image...[T]his book has heart.
Gabriel Espinosa, Historian Mexico City, Mexico
...[N]early every sentence you say is a deep and profound truth about tango and real-life-relationships...I appreciate your insistence on the difference between energy and its expression through behavior.
Peter Ripota, PM Magazine
Munich Germany
"[Tango] is an excellent metaphor...to help men and women get...into a more spiritual union with the male/female energies that embody each of us. It became very clear to me that, at our core, we own both and we need to embrace both."
Danny Babineaux,
Los Angeles, California
"... Being male, the concept of female energy residing within me was something I would prefer to not talk about. This book helped me to understand that this energy exists within all of us, and is important to anyone who expects to have lasting, meaningful relationships".
Michael Shustak
Los Angeles, California
**** (four stars) You know that feeling you get when you are reading a book and you're very near the end of the book and you get those mixed feelings of wanting to see how it concludes versus the sense of slight sadness of having completed it? Well, I got that feeling.
John Christopherson
Rocky River, Ohio
"I started to read your book and it was such a pleasant experience that I wanted you to know it. I haven't finished it, but it is really good, interesting, and I thoroughly enjoy it. Congratulations! Hope you start on number two soon..."
Ingrid Primus
Mexico City, Mexico

Sample Excerpt

I have often been described as outgoing, aggressive, impulsive, intimidating, gregarious, courageous, and daring. Masculine energy traits. However, I have never been addressed as "sir", or even been described as masculine. In other words, I am feminine physically, with masculine energy. Apparently, this can be very disconcerting to the opposite sex. Equally disconcerting to women is a man whose female energy is in control, always nurturing, caring and sensitive. What's a woman to do with a man that cries more than she does? And when I look about me, I see legions of people with the same dilemma: physically feminine women with decidedly masculine energy traits, or men who've pounded one too many drums. Regardless of gender, it seems that too many of us have one thing in common: we are unable to find a mate that matches our needs.
How often did I hear, "You are so attractive/funny/ interesting/amusing/intelligent, why aren't you with a man?" Yeah?! Why wasn't I? I never believed you needed a partner to be "complete"; a partner should complement you. However, if I have "dominant masculine energy", a woman like me would have to find a man whose female energy is dominant. But when these men did present themselves, I overwhelmed and overpowered them. I was "intimidating". On the other hand, I came close to blows with men whose masculine energy obliterated their female energy, since if felt they were trivializing a part of me. I was a "smart-ass" (which is no surprise to my mother...). We all appeared to be energetically out of synch. What was a girl (or guy) to do?
As a child I was encouraged to follow my dreams, be whatever I wanted, not to ask permission to express my creativity, be my own person, not depend on any one or any thing for my happiness and fulfillment. I have no regrets about this upbringing, but translating it into a successful relationship had somehow eluded me.
I was alternately described as too independent, too intimidating, too self-sufficient, too aggressive. We were, however, obviously not talking about behavior; because even though I had a really fast sports car and drove like a guy, I was still perceived as feminine. But, even though I wore make-up, knew how to boil water, and cried at manipulative movies, men still considered me "intimidating". I just didn't get it.
For years I had been presented with a life lesson which I was simply unable to internalize: the basic dynamics between male/female energies in a committed relationship. Or any male/female relationship. Period.
I was told by those wiser than I that my male/female energies were out of kilter. Heck, if I couldn't even distinguish each in myself (and I was supposedly a quasi-moderately enlightened and pseudo-partially open-minded sort of spiritual individual), how would I ever be able to alter the balance? And a male/female relationship within myself? Was such a thing even possible?
The effort to be more "female/passive" sent me into a panic and left me feeling helpless and stupid. I felt like I had to let myself down, pretending to be weak when I didn't feel that way, compromising my behavior in a way that felt uncomfortable, manipulative, and ultimately, unsustainable. Eventually, I was going to hang the damn picture myself, anyway.
It just never made sense to me, this "female/passive, masculine/aggressive" nonsense. Who decided that women have to be weak and men strong? We each are the way we are. I was born strong. I have big bones...The notion that this male/female energy was of a more psychic universal nature (and therefore interactive and malleable) and not related to behavior (hanging pictures) was totally lost on me. Like that song in Oklahoma says, "...how can I be what I ain't?"
I couldn't seem to let go of my own definitions:
Female = passive, submissive.
Passive = pushover, pathetic.
Submissive = victim, loser.
I could not make the conscious, spiritual leap from what passive and submissive on the earth plane meant when applied to the spiritual, universal male/female forces.
To realize that both these energies co-existed in everyone in varying degrees sounded nice in theory but just wouldn't fit under my skin. I understood that the balance of these forces was essential in maintaining any healthy relationship: with one's partners, work, environment, even with oneself. But I couldn't imagine how to achieve this energy balance if it didn't already exist. I thought the imbalance was part of the life lesson, the handicap you had to struggle with toward "enlightenment". I had no idea how I could possibly try to be what I wasn't without losing "myself" in the process. I checked, and although I found a whole bunch of buttons, none of them said "reset".
"Pretending" to be "feminine" was simply not an option; not only was it artificial, at some point the façade was bound to collapse. I never understood that there was a monumental difference between male and female energy and male and female behavior.
I had begun to believe that my life was on an unalterable course in terms of my relationships and of my spiritual understanding; of what it meant to be a "modern" woman, caught between the fierce struggle for independence and emotional longing to be cared for; between the outward material trappings of achievement and the intense yearning for spiritual growth. Was I going to have to be "cute" to be loved?
It seemed hopeless. I could not reconcile the theory of male and female energy with its practical application. I could not see how I could possibly be both "spiritually balanced" and "materially successful".
Then I received that proverbial phone call that changed everything.

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