Trafford Publishing: Life, Of Course, Is All About Making Choices

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Life, Of Course, Is All About Making Choices

by Doreen Gertrude Mills

248 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #01-0170; ISBN 1-55212-770-2; US$22.50, C$25.95, EUR18.50, £13.00

This book encompasses the memoirs of one woman's very eventful life. She hopes that readers may see the book as "self help in learning to follow one's conscience."

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About the book      About the author      Sample excerpts      Catalogue info

About the Book

This is the story of a young woman's struggle to live according to her own conscience, resulting in a break from family members and the style of life she had been brought up to respect. Her new life necessitated finding new friends as old friends were advised by their church not to associate with those who in their view had "fallen away." She was haunted for years by doubt, guilt and lonliness; eventually succumbing to the charms of a church member, so strong was the 'brain washing'. The husband became more and more verbally abusive, with increasing threats of physical abuse. The one joy in her life was the birth of a daughter in 1944. The child showed signs of stress as the environment became at times ugly. After a bitter battle and shameful court settlement, a divorce was granted.
Almost ten years as a single parent followed when, in 1954, she remarried and two more children came along - a girl and a boy. Loneliness was to haunt the family again as their father, whose job was as a tugboat skipper, spent 95% of his off time with his buddies. Another ten years of 'single parenthood' followed after a second divorce. With two children now on their own, mother and son seek a totally new life; that of living in a winterized cabin on beautiful Stuart Lake in north central British Columbia. Some interesting adventures follow.
The story has equal amounts of laughter and sadness, struggles and joys.

About the Author

I can't say my life has been 'normal' as everything is so relative. I have said I struggled with my determination to change my life style. I never totally succeeded in that as I inherited my love for the earth and its soil from my father. I still yearn for a beautiful garden all of my own doing. I did not have the foresight in choosing a husband with similar likes and dislikes in life style. I recognize now how important that is for a couple. I seemed to have a talent for attracting the wrong men. Strange isn't it? At this time in my life, rather laughable. Here I am living in the garden city and puttering half-heartedly in someone else's garden! Dear Evelyn (Gordie's deceased wife) told me two weeks before she died "Do what you want in the yard Doreen; Gordie doesn't know a weed from a flower!" She was so wisely right. It's just not the same if it's not your own dirt. I may yet get my own garden; I'm only eighty years young-there's lots of time.

Sample Excerpts

EXCERPT ONE

      While at the pharmacy I became friends with the lady who at that time owned the Vanderhoof Chronicle. Her name was Audrey Smedley. I did write a couple of articles for the paper. At this time also I met Gloria Hobson, wife of Rich Hobson, now deceased, author of such books as Grass Beyond The Mountains and subject of the TV series "Nothing Too Good For A Cowboy."
      Gloria was working in real estate and offered to help me with my struggling desire to write a book about my life. She said she had helped Rich with his. Later I'd learn that in the 1980's she'd travel south to help Joe Garner with his Canadian best-seller Never Fly Over An Eagle's Nest.
      Gloria was active in local politics and was often referred to as the "Ma Murrey" of Vanderhoof. Unfortunately, because we had to move back to the Fort, we were not able to get together very often.
      I still had to work in the drug store late some Fridays. One extremely cold, still night, driving back to the Fort, I actually thought the road was wet from rain, yet I wondered how that could be in February. I stopped the car, opened the door and fell down as I stepped out. I crept around to the front to look at the road by the headlights. It was sheer ice. I think it was 40F below. I must have kept my cool by starting up very slowly and maintaining a slow and steady pace home.
      I had another freakish experience but this time the road had high snow banks on either side from the snow plowing. Slow and steady and no brakes, I was almost home, when at the last curve in the road the car skidded clear across the road to the other side and went nose first into a high snow bank. I had a feeling of being buried alive. Soon I heard a knock on the back of the car. It was the Fort Towing truck - I'd been rescued! He just happened to notice the rear end of the car.
      Unfortunately, by then my pharmacy boss learned I'd been commuting. He issued me an ultimatum, even though I'd never been late!
      Kerry and I both thought it would be nice to have a dog at Mandalay, so when we heard of a family with an Irish Setter who needed a home, we drove to Prince George and became the proud owners of a six month old "Irish." He adopted us immediately.

EXCERPT TWO

Christmas Letter From The Frigid North

December, 1972
At "MANDALAY"
      Year's end is nearly upon us and time to reflect on the year's accomplishments, or anyway, year's happenings.
      Almost everyone will admit that the winter of '71 - '72 was a bit unusual weather-wise. It was here too. Of course, we have to form opinions on that going by what others say, who have been here much longer that we. That winter was the first "complete" winter that Kerry and I spent at "Mandalay" as we came here from Vanderhoof at the end of winter '71. It possibly prepared us for the next winter, or so we thought.
      We did know that we would need a good wood supply for the fireplace for added heat in very cold spells, but Kerry's experience with the power saw was limited and he didn't make much progress even though he worked quite hard at it. Very soon the snow was so deep that he could no way get into the bush to bring out logs to saw up. It snowed and snowed and snowed....
      While Kerry was at school or tackling the wood pile or chipping ice off the pump or pouring boiling water down it to thaw it out, I tried to keep the snow clear beside the house and where we parked the car as the snow plow boys could not get right up to the house with their big machine. This doesn't sound like a very big job, especially when the snow plow did the rest of the driveway. It isn't, I guess, if one only has to shovel it once or twice a week, but some days I had to do it twice and even three times a day, or we wouldn't have been able to get the car out. Nicely and freshly plowed, the driveway became a pretty sight especially when the sun was shining. Sort of like a long winding, glistening tunnel.
      When the weather began to get very cold and we resigned ourselves to the fact that B.C. Hydro was not going to bring us electricity for yet another year, we began to seriously worry about how to keep the car running. Our neighbour said, "Well, you will just have to build an igloo for the car to keep the wind off of it - that will help." At first we thought he was joking and I was as close to giving up the whole idea of staying here the winter as I have ever been. We thought about it though and it didn't seem so ridiculous, so we started shoveling. Now, whenever I shovel the walk beside the house I simply put each shovelful on top of the wall of our snow car port. I am sure it did help.
      Somehow we did get through that winter but not without the help of our neighbours, who brought us more wood when ours ran out. Kerry actually liked the winter because most of his friends have snowmobiles and, too, he did not have to put forth much effort to get snow for our barrel that we rely mostly on for water after the pump freezes up completely. The first winter here he had to go way off into the bush to get clean snow, but last winter he did not have to even venture off the deck as every day there it was - fresh snow for the water supply.
      Winter did seem endless though and last spring we thought that winter would just never leave us. On and on it went. Not much problem with bad roads in the spring as there was so much snow they remained in quite good condition. Then suddenly, long, long, after Easter the lake began to break up and what an excitement! One could even notice the birds and squirrels were happy. Everything in spring seems to come alive and one cannot keep from smiling at the whole world, unless you are a TERRIBLE sour-puss.
      Very soon after breakup we see ducks swimming by with their long string of babies after them. We see the old bald eagle fly over the house and know she is nesting again in the bush behind our place. But the snow is still so deep it would be pretty hard to get into the bush to see it. Soon the creeks open and begin to flow into the lake and then the lake breaks up in a hurry. It seems the beaver dams break sometimes, and this causes a great rush of water. Sometimes at this time of year we see beaver swim past the house. Apparently, they swim through the culvert under the road but where they are going in this direction we do not know.
      Although spring here is exciting, last spring was perhaps too exciting as it was not without worry. As the lake began to rise, but much later than usual because of the late thaw, it rose and rose and rose. People began to say (old-timers that is - you do not listen to new-timers), "It will not rise anymore; it is already higher than usual." But it did.
      "Do lakes ever flood?" I began to say to "old-timers."
      "Never heard of it," they would reply. It rose and rose .... Flooding conditions were reported in Kamloops and other places. We listened to the reports on the radio telling us the measurements of the river guages at Prince George and Mission.
      People who were getting up into the remoter parts north of here told us that there were still several feet of snow in the bushes and, "Where is it all going to go?" people were saying. No one seemed to know as no one could remember the lake ever being so high. Some summer cottages down lake from us were beginning to get seepage in their places by the middle of June. By July 1st most were flooded out completely.
      We had not been worried about Mandalay up to now but as the lake turned very stormy when it was at its highest point the waves were so high that erosion started in earnest at the foot of our sun deck and on June 30th the deck fell off into the water. Some business places in Fort St. James were out of business because of the high water and one of our neighbours, who had just moved down the beach from us only two months before (we were glad to have neighbours close), were now living in the top of their neighbour's summer cottage. Theirs had had no upstairs and they were going about by canoe. They actually stood in two feet of water to cook their meals! So we considered ourselves fortunate that all we lost was our deck.
      On July 18th the lake showed the first signs of going down, but we couldn't get over how high it was all summer by comparing it to photographs of other years. It never did go back to normal.
      The barn swallows came back once more to nest in the honey pot on the porch, and we enjoyed our summer visitors and several fishing trips. One event of the summer that will always bring a smile was when Kerry took me by canoe (the only way to get there as all roads were flooded out) to see some of the flooded out houses. We both put on hip waders. Mine were borrowed from a friend and came up to just under my chin!
      Of course, I had to get out and wade a distance and take pictures and then it occurred to me that getting back into the canoe would be tricky. Well---there was this flooded and stranded car see---so Kerry said, "Climb up on the bumper and then into the canoe that way." I was doubtful but tried---you can guess the result. Yes, over we both went, filling up our hip waders. Kerry just can't understand how I could be so clumsy. His waders fit him - mine were made for a 250 pound man! Two of me could have gotten into them.
      We now have many new neighbours. At least eight places have been built or are being built in the mile just north of us on Sowchea Road. So the electricity is creeping closer and we had high hopes for getting it this year, but no good news on that yet. However, these new neighbours who cleared their lots for their new houses were only too willing to have us take all the excess wood away rather than bother burning it. Consequently, this winter we have great piles of fire wood all over the yard. Also, the high lake had its reward! Much good drift wood was left by the receding waters. We have had a very mild fall so far this year but are ready for winter when it does come in earnest.
      I am enjoying my job as cook at the new Stuart Lake Hospital and Kerry seems to be enjoying grade ten. He takes cooking in one of his classes and last Sunday practiced on me by preparing a very nice breakfast of pancakes and bacon. Yum-mm-m.
      Our dog, Irish, now has competition in a newly acquired cat with the unlikely name of Bear-cat. They haven't quite decided about each other yet but other than that everything is serene at Mandalay and we hope the snow plow boys will be as kind to us this year as they were last year - kindly "doing" us every time they came down the road and not billing me for it. Our suspicion is that our good neighbour up the road told them about "that poor lady that lives all alone with her son and has no one to shovel her snow out."
      The mountain-size hill across the lake that I call "my" mountain is freshly capped halfway down with new snow and the lake is calm and blue with pink streaks reflected from the rising sun behind us. Over a little way I see the beautiful trumpeter swans cavorting gaily just as we might do in mid-July. They are getting extra swimming time this year because of the late freezing up of the lake. As soon as the lake freezes they will start down the Stuart River to spend the winter. I have not been able to get a close up picture of them yet but hope to. Sometimes the geese waddle up onto the shore but the trumpeters don't come onto the beach. Guess it is because there is no feed for them here.
      We wonder what 1973 will bring but one thing we know. If we are still living at Mandalay we will be looking forward to spring with the same anticipation as last year and, in the meantime, we really enjoy the peace and quiet here, with the lack of hustle and bustle. Sometimes we wish there could be more of a compromise between city and country, because we can't get to see our family members and friends enough and they can't get away from their city ties long enough to come here for a visit. But we will hope to see you all in 1973 one way or another and, in the meantime, we wish you all a very, very bright holiday season and a prosperous and happy New Year!

Kerry, Doreen and Irish and Bear-cat.

Catalogue Information