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TuffTalk™

by Martin Shaffer, Ph.D.

192 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #01-0303; ISBN 1-55212-901-2; US$27.97, C$39.96, EUR26.00, £18.00

A training method to understand how certain styles of thinking will affect, control and change moods, habits and behaviour.

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about the book      about the author      sample excerpts      catalogue info

About the Book If there were some ways for you to thrive and succeed by controlling your reactions to stress, you would be interested, wouldn't you? TuffTalk™ is a comprehensive training program designed to teach you: How thinking will generate specific emotions. How to control your emotion by changing your thinking. How to relieve tension by changing your thought process. How to thrive and succeed under stressful conditions. How to control weight by using thinking for self-control. How to develop mental attitudes of optimism, control and commitment that will help you fight the ravages of daily stresses. Our TuffTalk™ Audio-Tape or CD can make this book even more effective for you. These audio programs use various forms of guided imagery and self-hypnosis to instill relaxation and mental attitudes to help you thrive. To purchase TuffTalk™ with our CD click here. Or, call us at 1-888-THRIVER, e-mail us at sales@AboutStress.com, or visit www.AboutStress.com to find out more.

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About the Author Martin Shaffer, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in the State of California. He has been in practice for over 28 years, and specializes in forensic practice, stress management and sport psychology. He is the Executive Director of the Stress Management Institute in San Francisco, and the CEO of About Stress.com. He is the former Assistant Director of Behavioral Sciences at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine. In his early years of practice, he was a Child Psychologist specializing in the treatment of disturbed, developmentally delayed and autistic children and their families. He is the author of a well-received self-help book, Life After Stress, as well as other professional articles. Dr. Shaffer is a golf instructor who teaches people the art of using the mind to improve performance.

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Sample Excerpts

Lesson 5
TUFF TALK

"TUFFTALK": Any inner dialogue that causes you to grow emotionally, to feel powerful and full of passion while boosting your self-esteem.

TUFF TALK EXAMPLES:

"I can do it."
Translation: "I am competent."

"People should listen to me."
Translation: "I am worthwhile."

"It matters."
Translation: "I count."

"I will do it."
Translation: "I am committed to success."

LESSON 6
ATTITUDE

Primary rule of mental life:
You become what you believe.

Our mental lives are governed by what we think. In fact, we become and feel what we think. We all have thoughts that are grouped together and become attitudes. An attitude is simply some set of opinions or ideas that we hold to be true about ourselves, our worlds or about others. Our self-concepts are simply a list of opinions about ourselves. When we hold a negative opinion, then we experience ourselves in a negative way. To be sure, no one will convince us otherwise! When we hold a positive opinion of ourselves, then we experience ourselves in a positive way. That's how strongly we hold on to these opinions.

For example, when you think of yourself as a victim, then that characterization will determine how you cope with events when things "go wrong". Then you might say "I'm the victim of bad luck. I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bad luck is my middle name." These ideas don't make you feel good about yourself, do they?

Similarly, when you think of yourself as "ugly" then you will look in the mirror and see every blemish as a demonstration that this belief is true. The single tiny zit on your face may only be seen by you, but you will feel disfigured and believe that people "must" be staring at that very pimple. They surely must because you are ugly. And when you hear a compliment such as "Oh, my you look great in that outfit", to be sure you will reject it. You might say to yourself, "Oh, they're just saying that to be nice."

A rule of psychic life is:
We think in ways to preserve what we believe.

Therefore, when a compliment is the opposite of what we believe to be true, then we reject the compliment by some mental mechanism. On the other hand, when you have a positive self-image, then it is easy to accept the compliment without using any special mental mechanism to defend against the "untruth" (i.e.,You don't believe the compliment.)

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Catalogue Information

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