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Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing

; Edited by Deborah Berger

264 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #01-0358; ISBN 1-55212-956-X; US$25.00, C$30.95, EUR20.20, £14.00

In Dear Mom, everyday women express their most private truths about their relationship with their mothers.

Read more!

About the Book

About the Author

Table of Contents

Excerpts

Catalogue Information

About the Book

Dear Reader:

Every woman has stories to tell about her mother. The mother she has, the mother she wants, the mother she misses, the mother she didn't know. We carry our mothers with us. Sometimes we carry her in our hearts, in our heads-or on our backs. Sometimes we are connected to our mothers with the thick, strong cords of intertwined love and true acceptance; other times the bonds are stretched thin and taut, scratching against our consciousness, rubbing raw the sore spots in our souls.

But we are always linked to our mothers: both to the dreams of the mothers we wish for and the realities of the mothers we have. Even if our mother has been gone for years-for decades-the relationship is still very much alive.

Mom is still with us: offering advice, encouragement, criticism, appreciation, rejection, solace. What we daughters do with this ongoing commentary-whether we unknowingly incorporate it into our reality, or consciously and carefully review it, deciding what to keep and what to put away-is fundamental to how fully we lead our own lives.

In Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing, you meet women who have stripped away pretenses, societal constraints, and basic fears to uncover and express their most private truths about their relationship with their mothers. You get to peer over the shoulders of the women, share in their laughter, and experience their struggles. You see how other women cast light on this most complicated, rewarding, and sometimes frustrating relationship. You witness women at different stages of their lives reflecting on the legacies their mothers (knowingly or unconsciously, but always powerfully) left them. You hear how other women experience the glories and the scars, the hurt and the healing that make up this most primal of connections.

You also get to meet the women behind the letters, since each Dear Mom letter is followed by a profile of the contributor. You learn about the surprises, satisfactions, and challenges they faced in writing down their most private truths. The 25 Dear Mom contributors include women from a variety of backgrounds, careers, religions, and lifestyles.

They include (present and former) teachers, business owners, homemakers, real estate agents, artists, secretaries, social workers, journalists, and government officials. Some are accomplished professionals, well-known in their fields and public figures in their communities. They are married, single, divorced, widowed. Many, though not all, are mothers themselves. Many contributors are baby boomers, in their 40s and 50s. Others are in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. (The oldest contributor is over 90; her conversation with her mother continues!)

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About the Author

Deborah Berger felt compelled to work on Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing.

In her own words:

"I tell people Dear Mom was born on a plane - and that's literally true. I was coming back from a visit with a close friend. We had talked about lots of things, including our moms.

Sitting on the plane, I thought about how powerful mothers were - how their legacies can guide our lives and impact us in ways we may not even realize. My mind flashed to a woman I knew; let's call her Mary. She was in her 70s, her mom had been gone for four decades, but when Mary talked about her, you could almost see the mom. And Mary's mom didn't need an invitation to give advice or opinions! It was clear that the mom's voice was very much alive in her daughter.

It was also clear that Mary had lots to say to her mom: some of which she had never put into words, even to herself. I realized this was true for almost all women I knew - of course, including me. I got off the plane knowing I had to find a way to explore this intense, primal connection we have with our mothers."

Deborah Berger, M.S.W., is an author and freelance journalist whose articles have been published in Parade, Ladies' Home Journal, Working Mother, and other magazines. She lives in Seattle with her husband and son.

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Table of Contents

Letters of Love

Carolyn Wynhausen Sperry remembers her mother's strength and fierce independence-staunch allies during a battle with cancer.

Profile: Carolyn Wynhausen Sperry

Angela B. Ginorio moved a great distance away from home, in part to break free from her protective mother, but now treasures their close connection.

Profile: Angela Ginorio

Teresa Wippel reflects on the career choices her mother, like so many women of that generation, never got to make.

Profile: Teresa Wippel

Barbara Eisner holds dear her mother's loving "life lessons" and passes them on to her children.

Profile: Barbara Eisner

Pat Pettit recalls a mother whose meticulously detailed sewing was a way to make her daughter's dreams come true.

Profile: Pat Pettit

Paula Strange takes a close look at the immeasurable debt she owes her mother.

Profile: Paula Strange

Ruby Walker celebrates the lasting legacy of her mother's creative solutions to family problems.

Profile: Ruby Walker

Joan Ingram honors a mother who gave her daughter a childhood far more loving and secure than her own.

Profile: Joan Ingram

Claudia Milazzo Hutchison carries her late mother's voice inside her: "You can do hard things."

Profile: Claudia Milazzo Hutchison

Letters of Loss

Pat Pierson longed to rescue her loving and much-loved mother from Pat's abusive father.

Profile: Pat Pierson

Rosemary Mayo often dreams of her best friend-her "mum." But she still has regrets.

Profile: Rosemary Mayo

Grace Lee credits her mother for being ahead of her time in many ways, but sex was another matter.

Profile: Grace Lee

Irene Svete marveled at her mother's fortitude, but sometimes longed for her to act more "like a mother"-and less like a lawyer.

Profile: Irene Svete

Joyce struggles with painful questions about the choices her mother made more than half a century ago.

Profile: Joyce

Suzanne wrestles with her desire to know more about the birth mother she lost.

Profile: Suzanne

Jane Mozena recalls her wonderful early years, before her mother spiraled downward into mental illness and everything changed.

Profile: Jane Mozena

Letters of Longing

Beth reflects on a childhood etched with her mother's anger and depression, struggling to accept her mother's decision to stay stuck.

Profile: Beth

Claire faces her mother's contrasting legacies: a love of justice and leadership, and a deep-seated fear of men.

Profile: Claire

Nora celebrates her winding journey toward accepting and loving her busy mother as she is.

Profile: Nora

Sally Flood wasn't close to her aloof mother, but paradoxically this lack taught her to pay attention to her own children.

Profile: Sally Flood

Stephanie examines the stark contradictions between what her mother said and did about balancing work with family.

Profile: Stephanie

Peggy Bird tries to understand why her mother relegated her to second-class status -- and in her efforts discovers some hidden answers.

Profile: Peggy Bird

Laura wrestles with her need to like her mother--and to have her mother feel the same way about her.

Profile: Laura

Marcia looks at a childhood lost, when at an early age, she had to function as a responsible adult.

Profile: Marcia

Ardene Byers Hogl hopes that death will bring her the chance--at long last--to talk with her late mother about the many parts of life they never shared.

Profile: Ardene Byers Hogl

Writing Your Own Dear Mom Letter

Thanks

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Excerpts

Paula Strange

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Catalogue Information

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