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P-B-A-R Revisited: Your Thoughts Determine Your Future

by Robert Henry, MD, FACPE

130 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #01-0422; ISBN 1-55369-020-6; US$21.00, C$24.15, EUR16.37, £10.85

The book teaches how we are programed in infancy and childhood and shows how that crystalizes into subconscious beliefs that determine our life course. Explore those beliefs, discard those that restrict and design a new system for personal growth.

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about the book      about the author      sample excerpts or Table of Contents      catalogue info

About the Book     Many researchers have agreed that most of the population is operating on only 10-15 per cent of their God-given potential. The rest never comes to light because of the darkness and shadows cast by the whole process of "preparing kids for life".     All the...       "You'll never make it"       "You're too dumb, too fat, too lazy"       "You're just like ___ and he didn't do it either"       "Don't get your hopes up, you'll only be disappointed"       And on and on-     ...taught us that life was crazy, fearful, threatening, waiting to screw us up. And we'd never be competent enough to make it work.     Obviously, not everyone has these kinds of experiences-or did we?     Let the book help you explore how it happened for you and then let go of those old paradigms, those false belies and the poor assumptions we accumulated along the way. Replace them with your own optimism, your own intuition and your conscious awareness that you were really designed to thrive, to enjoy, to succeed and now you can.     Go for it!

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About the Author     Bob Henry has had a longstanding desire to play a role in changing the lives of people. If you were to ask him about the genesis of this aspiration, he would probably respond that it is part of his "right-brained ness" which is the area in the heads of all of us where intuition, sensitivity, and a sense of connectedness to the world and its people arises. It certainly was also contributed to in large measure by a number of personal life experiences that sensitized him to the needs and feelings of others. It was out of this experiential life that his passion for understanding and helping others in their life journey arose. This was probably the nidus of motivation for him to choose Medicine for a life career, with the idea that this move would prepare him for carrying out his mission.     He grew up in a single parent family after the age of three when his father died. With no siblings and a mother with no siblings, his early life experiences were solitary and subject to the exacting demands of a struggling Mother in the 20's and 30's. Her hypochondriacal underpinnings led to much concern about her health as the only family member and her repetitive pushing Bob toward a career in medicine "in order to cure me" played a large part in his career selection.     After three years in the Army during WWII, Bob completed his undergraduate and medical education. There was an internship, followed by ten years in family practice, a three-year residency in Psychiatry with nearly eight years in that specialty and then 18 years in administrative medicine as President and CEO of a major general hospital.     After retirement in 1989, he has continued to reach out to people via a consulting firm that focused on training and development in business, industry, and in the public education arena. The presentations were always organized around material designed to teach people how to escape fromtheir mental prisons that were part of their early life programming. Every person has much more potential for success, enjoyment and effective living than they realize or ever discover because of how we were indoctrinated as children. We were taught to distrust, to not believe in ourselves, to covet our fears about failure and being inadequate.     Many researchers have agreed that most of the population is operating on only 10-15 per cent of their God-given potential. The rest never comes to light because of the darkness and shadows cast by the whole process of "preparing kids for life".

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Sample Excerpts or Table of Contents

Why this Book?     Today's world is characterized by:
; Deterioration of personal ethics.
; Near absence of values in our society, commerce and politics.
; The fragmenting and decay of basic cultural entities:
Marriage
Families
Quality child rearing
Commitment to meaningful work ethic
Spirituality that designs and directs our daily living
Meaningful goals in both personal and career areas
Honesty, integrity and openness in our interpersonal encounters
personal commitment to community and global affairs
Respect and nurturing toward all human beings
materialism and consumerism at ludicrous levels
Pathological consumption and destruction of natural resources
Parents virtually uninvolved in educating and developing their kids
People living daily lives with dysfunctional beliefs acquired from their early-life trainers
People blinded to opportunities and options that could be theirs if they would change their thinking styles, give up their limited beliefs and seek their own freedom
Failure to recognize the absolute necessity for interdpendence as the third phase of human development
Lack of compassion and support for all humans who are on the same journey of life
    That's a pretty negative opening as an invitation to share this book. However, I believe, you will agree with the content of the list and might even agree that we collectively must find ways to rediscover effective, meaningful and loving ways to live together and perform the functions that can change the world.
    To not do so, will, in the very near future mean an end to any semblance of creative, collaborative, peaceful and spiritual interaction among the people of the planet.     I am reminded of a graphic that depicted the course of the major cultures and empires that have existed since the beginning of recorded time. Each of these entities followed a similar course of evolution. each had a beginning, a middle era of growth that displayed the grandeur of that particular culture, only to be followed by a decline and decay when the inhabitants became greedy, self centred, petulant about having their own ways, and set about to dis-integrate the very value systems that made them flourish in the first place.
    It is my belief that such a course doesn't just happen but is part of the changing mindsets of the people. At the beginning there is excitement, collaboration and energy to get the culture launched. The mid-phase is feuled by the pride and enjoyment of the accomplishments that occur. Then people get comfortable, believe it will go on forever and carelessness sets in . it is here that people become inflexible, greedy and overly competitive for the benefits, lose sight of values and the down slope begins.     There is an African proverb that states: :The decline of a nation begins in the homes of its people."
    Now look at the majority of our American homes. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce, while the remainder represent varying degrees of disintegration. Many of our sitcoms on TV depict very familiar scenes about dysfunction within the family structures that were intended to give stability to our culture. Enough exposure to this kind of programming leads to believing it is "normal" and acceptable.
    Other programs exploit the cultural and societal pathology of large segments of our population. Increasing demonstrations of pathology and physical violence on TV programs heightens the popularity of the performance. It's not only the participants on the program that are dysfunctional but also consider what is going on in the minds of the viewers that can't resist watching these displays of illness. The sickness of the trash-people on the program whets some kind of degenerative appetite on the part of viewers who are fascinated by it. Perhaps they need to feel better about their own situation.
    Look at the families where kids have minimal supervision and re denied access to wholesome life with the parents and siblings. They are thrust on their own prematurely. They often fill the gaps with activities that they are unprepared to handle at a given age. Our extended families are often unavailable to help with nourishing the young because of our mobile society. Parents involve their kids in a range of outside activities in lieu of taking time to be part of their developmental lives. Our lives are absorbed in the process of competition with others to demonstrate external dominance (acquisition of materialistic baubles and trinkets for recognition in our "caste system") while the intrinsic values that can enrich lives are ignored and we settle for compromised, vacant, valueless living as a substitute. The decline of a nation truly does start in the homes of its people.
    In america, as great as we have been, we are in position for a sliding decline in all aspects of our culture simply because our wonderful affluence and power have made us careless, apathetic, unwilling to be aware of the dangers that are in our midst and most of all unwilling to make major changes in our life-styles in order to preserve the right heritage our ancestors gave us. Look at the indifference the nation and its leaders display when confronted with personal and public behaviors that are the testimony to our declining value system. No one cares and we become more apathetic each day.
    each of us is so busy with "ME", Mine and Ours, that we have no time or energy to devote to the rebuilding of our culture for "all of us".
As a practicing psychiatrist in the 60s and 70s I first became interested not only in the individual pathology that people presented but beyond that to the impact that it was having on the family, community, national and planetary structures. Nothing has stemmed the tide of selfishness and dysfunction since that time. In fact, there has been a steady erosion of quality in all of our collective enterprises since then. The decline of a nation does begin in the homes of its people. and people from those homes take their greed, their apathy and their lack of commitment to values into their jobs and societal relationships so their contagious attitudes and behaviors have reached epidemic proportions. we have a full-blown plague going on here in america, the Beautiful.
    The purpose of the book is to ask you join me in looking at the way we fail to teach our young a sense o grand purpose, a set of values, a commitment to excellence and the thrill of an accomplished life. Instead, we consistently instill shabby value systems, fail to teach them enduring and enriching lessons, and use fear to program them to conform and fit into a society that is dangerously near demise.
    Only our children can be the dreamers of wonder for the future. Only they can be the integrators of plans and dreams that can restore America to its place of prominence. Only our proper teaching of children in our homes can replace the wretched examples they see each day in our public personages. Only a massive commitment to positive change in the way we train our young can develop the next generation into the leaders and doers that can prevent the american culture from joining with the Persians, the Greeks, the Romans, The British and others who failed to heed to clarion calls to change their ways.
    The book attempts to look at how our adult beliefs, expectations, assumptions and attitudes developed. It points out that al of these adult concepts that we choose, decide and act upon each day were originally only the thoughts from the minds of our parents, who got them from their parents, who got them from their parents - ad infinitum.
    In the collection of thoughts and beliefs that you carry around in your head each day, there are precious few that were original thoughts on your part. You, like all of us were expected to absorb the collective "thinking stuff" from family, school, and society and behave in ways that reflected how well you learned the lessons. How could you become creative, happy or free when you are absorbed in doing what family and society shoved down your throat as "the way it has to be"?
    It's time to wake up, realize you have been conned into being what you are and that you have the divine right (and responsibility) to change it in any way to become more creative, more effective and more joyful. It's your life. Take it out of the museum and begin to live it.

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Catalogue Information

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