Trafford Publishing: Texas Jesus

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Texas Jesus

by Kathryn McGuire

270 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #02-0222; ISBN 1-55369-409-0; US$25.00, C$28.70, EUR20.50, £14.50

Modern day female Jesus sent by God to clarify his teachings. Her mother is a transexual.

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about the book      about the author      sample excerpts      catalogue info

About the Book

Imagine a modern-day Jesus, a girl born in Texas, sent by God to clarify His teachings, who teaches love and forgiveness and conducts interviews with God, which she posts to her Internet website, texasjesus.com. God chose as her mother a transsexual, whose good friend is a voodoo priestess.
Allow your sense of humor to come forth and enjoy this ride of your life, as Jesus a and her crazy mother journey around while Jesus performs miracles, plays her guitar and teaches love - while at the same time, members of the evil right wing try to destroy them.
Experience the amazing story of the life of a transvestite, who comes under investigation by the Justice Department, comes out on front pages of newspapers and magazines, then after running for public office, has a sex change operation.
A story unlike any ever written, this book will make you laugh but will also mke you rethink what God meant by his simple commandments, such as "Love they neighbor as thyself." Could salvation really be as simple as accepting people of all races, religions, and orientations? In this book you see a side of life known only to a select few.

About the Author

Kathryn McGuire is a first time author. She was born in Texas and lived most of her life in Texas. She has been President and CEO of several large construction firms.
Born a male, she was under investigation by the Department of Justice, when she came out on the front page of the newspaper accusing them of investigating him because he was a transvestite. After coming out she went on Houston's social circuit, and was written and photographed in local, national, and international media and publications. Was named as one of Houston, Texas, top socialites. Ran for city council in Houston, Texas as a first time candidate and came in second out of three. After the investigation was dropped she went to London and had her sex changed.
After the wall came down she moved and started a new business in the Czech Republic. After two years she sold her company and moved to Amsterdam, doing some research and writing.
She produced an award winning video "The last days of Charles/Kathryn." Kathryn was nominated for the Freedom Award. She is currently writing her second book.
For more in formation on the author see website www.texasjesus.com then go to Kathryn.

Sample Excerpts

Then all at once the cactus burst into flames, so Kathy jumped out of bed and ran over to put out the fire before the whole house burned down. Suddenly she heard a voice, "Hail to you, trans-woman."
I am an angel from God, sent to deliver a message," the strange voice said. "God has chosen you for a very special purpose, which I will help you accomplish."
The voice continued speaking, "You are to have a child, and her name shall be called Jesus. She is to become a modern-day savior and teacher. She shall reaffirm His teachings because so many today have gotten away from the real meaning."
But anyway, there's no way this could possibly happen? I have a neo-vagina."
"The Holy Spirit will take care of your impregnation," the voice continued.
Some time later, Kathy and this angel person were sitting in a cafe drinking coffee when an incredibly handsome man looked at them and smiled.
"That surely must be the Holy Spirit," Kathy said to the angel. The angel shook her head.
After sighting several more good-looking guys and questioning the angel about each, Kathy received the same answer: "No, that is not the Holy Spirit either."

The evil loonies called a meeting of the evil right wing, to meet at Jones U one the most hate-filled schools in the country. The Rev. Rat was explaining to everyone about a baby who had been born and that she could destroy all they had done. "We have taught these people to hate everything. They hate the Catholics, the Jews, the blacks and gays, even the educated. They hate everything except extremist evil ones like themselves. This baby will teach love-so it must be destroyed."
And the evil right wing put a price on the baby's life.

At the park, Jesus played the drum, as directed, while Kathy opened the sack and out came a black rooster. Kathy took the rooster, offered it to the East, then to the North, and chanted while holding it up. When she finished chanting, she cut the rooster's throat, catching the blood in the chalice.

Interview between God and Texas Jesus About the End of the World
Texas Jesus: Daddy, they say the world will end soon, but nobody knows when. Is that true?

"Uz was raised by a voodoo mother who was a Mambo or voudun priestess, and was second only to the grandfather in voudun. He was a total survivor and pledged to help raise and guard Domino. She learned quickly and by the time she was ten she was almost as good as Uz in survival. When she was fourteen they sent her to the U.S. to live with her white grandparents, who educated and refined her. She has like three degrees: one in computers, one in law, and one in something else I don't remember. They both have their pilot's licenses and can fly just about anything. She started a private investigator company with Uz.
The Investigation
"They had this one investigator who called himself El Jaguar or something stupid like that. They fought over who could get the most publicity."
"It was so funny," Uz said. "It was like they were trying to be James Bond, when they were really the Three Stooges. They were following your mom and we were following them. The headlines on the third day read something like: Fed and State Join McGuire Investigation Justice Department to Conduct Federal Investigation County Ordered to Conduct Tests."

Kathy looked at her daughter, smiled and said, "Jesus, you are not going to believe what happened next I mean, the very next day the headlines read: Payoff and Bribes Rampant by McGuire-County to Investigate for Racketeering. The other media hyped it even better. This sand was never used on bridges, and in fact this had nothing to do with bridges, but the TV station anchorman asked an investigative reporter if the bridges were safe, and the reporter just shrugged his shoulders-knowing, of course, that it had nothing to do with bridges, but creating the impression that the bridges might not be safe."

Second Interview With God About Creation
Texas Jesus: How far can they go? God: I have never limited my people. They have free will and intelligence to do whatever they want They have created animals with cloning and, knowing my people, they will probably clone themselves - which is good because with this technique they can cure more diseases. I am so proud of my people.

The evil right wing BUTTS of the proud Gross Odd Players hereby condemn the website of Texas Jesus. The blasphemy that is written there offends decent white males. We urge all people to boycott this site.
    Signed the BUTTS.
       Twinkle Tarr, Rev Rat, Rev Frat, Rev Well, Rep. Bewt, Rep. Coward, Senator Trott.

An Interview With God
Regarding Homosexuals
Texas Jesus: Dad, I read an article by the evil right wing BUTTS where they say that homosexuals, transvestites and transsexuals are not natural. Is this true?

Jesus, with her hair shampooed and a towel draped over her head, said, "Michael, that picture on the shelf of you and Mom-where was it taken?"
"That, my dear, was taken in Washington DC. Do you see that symbol? That is the symbol of the president."
Jesus, with a mischievous smile said, "The president of Houston?"
Kathy laughed and said, "No, the President of the United States of America. We went to Bush senior's inauguration."
"Mom, were you still under investigation then?"
"Yes, it went on for about five years. Anyway, we run into the people from the plane when we came to DC, and are standing around drinking and talking when this woman says, 'Kathy, look at all the secret agents around you! There were like six agents with things in their ears."
"What did they want, Mom?"
"I said to the people standing there, can you image the headlines? Terrorists kill transvestite at Presidential Ball. Anyway, the President finally came out and then they left."

I will talk to you about sex
"Mom, duh-we had that in school last semester." Jan laughed and said, " If anybody can teach her about sex, it has to be Kathy. She can teach her both sides.
Jesus walked up as Jamie, laughing, said, "Can you imagine your mom being able to tell how he is thinking and how she should respond-now that's weird Jesus, we are kidding your mom about telling you about sex."
Jesus smiled, cut her eyes at her mom and said, " I get on my knees every night and give thanks that I learned about it in school. Can you Imagine Trans Mom telling me, you take one guy, change him to a her, add a neo-vagina, get a Holy Spirit and - "

An interview with Kat Regarding Transsexuals
Texas Jesus: Why did you have your sex changed?
Kat: I really don't know. I was living a full life as a woman, except that I wasn't a woman. I was dating girls. I was in never-never land. I decided I should go on and complete the transaction, A shrink said I was a transsexual all along. I was just in denial.

An Interview with God about the church
Texas Jesus: Dad, which church is the right one? I mean, which one are you really head of?
God: Hello, duh, Jesus, I am head of all churches, of course. I am God, and if there is a church that belie ves In Me, even if they call Me by another name, then I am still the head.

The Trial by Texas Jesus
Judge: Is the prosecution ready to present its case?
Twinkle Tarr: Yes sir. Your Honor The defendant, who calls herself Jesus, Is charged with posting heretical material on the Internet. Blasphemy, Your Honor, which is against God and against every principle this country, and this court, was founded on. And since the child is a minor, the mother is also charged with allowing-nay assisting-her daughter In these horrendous acts. How dare they defy God by saying, for example, that baptism is not necessary, and that the world is not going to end, as almighty God has decreed

Chapter 18
They arrived at the funeral home and found Mad Dog's sister there. Jesus said, "Where is he?"
"They've cremated him," his sister said. "I have the ashes in this urn."
Jesus said, ""Mad Dog, are you in there?"
The urn started shaking.
Kathy said, "Jesus, quit teasing Mad Dog and let him out."
Jesus said, "Do you want out, Mad Dog?"
The urn shook so violently that the sister dropped it. Jesus picked it up. The funeral director and his staff stood there watching in shock, as Jesus took the urn and scattered the contents on the floor.

Catalogue Information