Trafford Publishing: Jan's Rainbow; Stories of Hope; How those we have loved and lost stay in touch

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Jan's Rainbow; Stories of Hope; How those we have loved and lost stay in touch

by Lindsay Collier

181 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #02-0225; ISBN 1-55369-412-0; US$19.00, C$21.50, EUR15.50, £11.00

The anchor story for this book centers on the author's incredible experiences with rainbows after losing his wife Jan to ovarion cancer in 2000. The magic of the book is further enhanced by the stories from many others who have had a variety of similar experiences. There is also some very practical, different, and powerful advice on how to survive the loss of someone you love.

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about the book      about the author      sample excerpts      catalogue info

About the Book

It was just one day after Lindsay Collier's wife of forty years, Jan, lost her battle with ovarian cancer that a beautiful rainbow surrounded their home in upstate New York where family members were gathered to celebrate her life. Since that time there have been many amazing experiences that have provided some very compelling proof that Jan is not very far away. And Lindsay, a former engineer (engineers always need proof), is not one who is prone to fantasy which makes these occurrences all the more believable. He also tells about some other rather amazing experiences that he and his family have had following losses of other loved ones. These stories alone will make a believer out of you. But there is much more!
Lindsay also found that, as he related these stories to friends and associates, he would often find that they would frequently offer their own stories about how lost loved ones had made contact with them. The stories were amazing and revolved around everything from dragonflies to birds to lights and clocks changing to things appearing out of nowhere. There are more than twenty-five of these included in the book, all of which will leave you feeling very good - and a little less lonely for those you have lost.
Lindsay made a commitment to learn as much as he could from his loss and to help others to find ways to survive their loss. He has spoken to a number of bereavement groups about how to survive loss and shares these insights in Jan's Rainbow. His suggestions and ideas on dealing with loss come from true experience. Before taking early retirement, Lindsay was the Creative Thinking Guru for Kodak so his ideas tend to be different. As he says, "Losing a loved one is a life-changing experience and it requires some very creative thinking to get through it." There are some wonderful, and very different, tips for dealing with loss included that will ease the journey through the bereavement process. Included are ways to re-frame your thinking, how to use positive humor in your healing, and the use of metaphors to expand your thinking or finding innovative ways to survive, and much, much more.
This book is a must for anyone who has lost a loved one or knows of someone who has. It is the ultimate "feel good" book for helping people to deal with losing a loved one. You'll cry, you'll laugh, and you'll be lifted to a new level of hope. A substantial portion of the proceeds of this book will be donated to Gilda's Club of Rochester (New York), an organization built in memory of Gilda Radner which provides help to women with cancer.

About the Author

Lindsay is the founder of Creative Edge Associates, an upstate New York firm dedicated to helping organizations tap the enormous creative potential of their people. He calls himself a Wicked Good Slayer of Organizational Sacred Cows. He is the author of three other books, Get Out of Your Thinking Box: 365 Ways to Brighten Your Life and Enhance Your Creativity, The Whack-A-Mole Theory; Creating Breakthrough and Transformation in Organizations, and Quotations to Tickle Your Brain. A new book, Organizational Mental Floss; 21st Century Thinking for Organizations, is on the way.
A Mechanical Engineer and MBA, he was Kodak's Technology Leader for Creativity, Innovation, and Strategic Exploration until taking an early retirement in 1991. He taught creative thinking and future scouting processes to hundreds of people and facilitated ideation sessions at all levels within the company. Just prior to leaving he designed and set up the Kodak Humor and Creativity Room designed to provide a place for people to bring out their creativity and humor and apply it to their work. He has been on NBC Today and CNBC and featured in the Wall Street Journal and has been asked to speak in South Africa several times to help people of that country better understand how to creatively think about their future. His clients include organizations of all types and sizes to include several Fortune 100 companies.
He is also founder and past President of the Western New York Futurists chapter of the World Future Society, past President of the Rochester Professional Consultants's Network, past Director of the Institute of Industrial Engineers and a Collegue of the Creative Education Foundation. His innovative work as a futurist combined with a vast knowledge of creative thinking and organizational change process has given him some very unique and powerful techniques to help organizations create futures they never thought possible.

Sample Excerpts

Contents

Introduction
Chapter 1    How I Became a Believer

This chapter contains some very compelling stories leading up to Jan's Rainbow.

Chapter 2    Jan's Rainbow

Here, you'll find some absolutely wonderful, true life stories of how rainbows and other signs entered our lives after Jan's loss. You need to read it to believe it!

Chapter 3    How to Survive the Loss of Your Loved One

Your journey through the loss of a loved one will be much easier using the eleven recommendations for survival in this chapter.

Chapter 4    Stories of Hope From My Friends

Here you will find twenty-seven amazing and wonderful stories of how lost loves ones have shown that they are still a part of our lives.

Chapter 5    The Seasons of Grief and Other Useful Metaphors to Help You Through Your Loss

This is a creative, and very different, look at how to think about your journey through the grieving process.

Chapter 6    A Few Words of Wisdom to Help You in Your Journey

Here you will find a number of very useful, practical thoughts that will help you in your journey.

Appendix 1    Helpful Readings
Appendix 2    Helpful Books About Loss

Introduction

I have lost a lot of important people in my life. In almost every case, those I have lost have found subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, ways to send messages of comfort to me. These messages have helped me a great deal to endure these losses. In June 2000 I experienced the most difficult loss in my life. Janice, my wife and best friend for more than forty years, lost a long battle with ovarian cancer. I was introduced to the real process of grieving - something I had managed to skirt around and avoid throughout my other losses. In many ways it has been a tremendously powerful learning process for my family and me. And I hope by sharing what I have learned that I can help others who are experiencing loss. I sincerely hope that the messages contained in Jan's Rainbow will provide comfort and hope to many others who are experiencing the loss of a loved one. Although much of this is being written through my own tears, my main purpose is to provide a very uplifting and hopeful message that in your journey through the grieving process, your loved one is by your side helping you with each step.
I feel compelled to tell you at the very start that I have always been a very open person but not necessarily a strong believer in much of the new age, spiritual stuff. After all - I'm a guy! And I'm also an engineer and we engineers always need proof. It took some very compelling evidence to convince me that there are things going on that go well beyond our normal understanding of what is possible. You will hear stories in this book that are unbelievable on the one-hand and, on the other, provide irrefutable proof that there are real messages coming from the other side. If you are a believer now you will strengthen your belief. If you are not a believer, you are about to become one.
Jan and I met in high school in Arlington, Massachusetts in 1958. We were married in 1961 while I was working on my mechanical engineering degree from Northeastern University in Boston. After graduation we started our real life together in Germany where I was an officer in the US Army Corps of Engineers. After three years we decided the Army wasn't for us and I began a career as an engineer with Eastman Kodak Company in Rochester, New York, which has been our home ever since. Somewhere in that time frame we were blessed with three great children, Stephen, Gregory, and Laurel.
Our life together was in many ways like a storybook. Our love and respect for each other just strengthened through the years. We had a very pleasant home in a highly livable suburb of Rochester, New York. We both had jobs we liked and our children were doing very well on all fronts. In the fall of 1988, Jan's doctor noticed a growth that concerned him which resulted in Jan having a hysterectomy. A tumor was found that was later diagnosed as ovarian cancer. The good news was that the doctors had discovered it early and removed everything. Or so they thought. A couple of years later Jan was given a clean bill of health when the tests showed virtually no activity. The next few years were happy ones thinking that the battle had been won. Several years passed before the cancer reappeared and Jan had to begin both radiation and chemotherapy treatments. At times it seemed like the results were working, but ultimately the cancer took over. Jan started her new life on the first day of summer, June 21^st, 2000.
I dedicate this to you, Jan. You will always be a part of me. My life will always center on you and we will always be together.

How To Survive the Loss of A Loved One

(You'll have to read the book to uncover the many pearls of wisdom in this chapter)

1. Find important things that are left for you to do in your life.
2. Turn the whole process into a growth or learning experience.
3. Re-frame your thinking and keep your eye on the rainbow at the end of the tunnel.
4. Find ways for the experience to shape you into a better, more caring person.
5. Stay connected to your loved one.
6. Be honest when people ask you how you are doing.
7. Recognize and use the power of your humor.
8. Stay connected to others who are experiencing similar loss.
9. Find and nuture some close relationships.
10. Exercise and take care of yourself.
11. Don't let the small losses build up on you.

Sample Story

Mikael's Tikai

Lisa Collier

In July, 1999, my husband, Greg, and I helped a friend deliver his boat, Tikai, a 42-foot custom Antarctic sailboat, from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to Ventura, California. We have many wonderful memories of Tikai and Captain Mikael. Not only that sailing passage, but the times we spent together in the three years preceding his sudden death. Sailing was Mikael's passion, as it is ours. There has not been a time when we sail out of the harbor that we do not think of him. Our time together was too short and he is greatly missed.
In May of 2001 we sailed Panacea, our 36-foot Swedish built wooden yawl, to Santa Catalina for a ten-day vacation. Sometime along the eleven-hour passage a small yellow and black bird landed on our boat for a short rest. The ocean holds many interesting creatures, and it is always a delight to see them. However, this was the first time a bird visited. We were fifty miles offshore and did not think much of the visit until we met some friends at anchor in Catalina who mentioned that they had also been visited by this little yellow and black bird. It was amazing to us that such a small creature could find its way to two boats in an expanse of water.
Even more amazing is that ten days later, upon our voyage home, this little bird found us again. This time he decided to stay for a longer visit. We took pictures and laid out water and sesame seeds; he was not interested in either, but more interested in wandering around our decks. As he hopped and sometimes flew around, he seemed to be checking out our gear. Eventually he followed me below deck and found a soft corner where he closed his eyes.
Leaving him to rest, I joined Greg above deck in the cockpit. We continued to check on our little friend, who was resting quietly.
How alarming for such a small land-based creature to be blown off course and out over miles of ocean. Why was he here ten days ago and now again?
Translated from French, Tikai is an affectionate word that means "little bird." If perhaps this little bird was a symbol of Mikael's spirit, or a sign that Mikael was with us, then the following sequence of events is even more confusing.
After some time, Greg went below to check on our friend, and found that he had passed away. How could this be? What did we do? Why was he dead? These and many more questions always remain unanswered.
The questions we had for our little bird are the same ones we had when we learned of Mikael's tragic death in a helicopter accident in Canada.
Part of life is loss and we will always ask the same questions when grieving. Nevertheless, it was not until we met our little Tikai that we began to talk about our losses, and find some comfort.

Everything in our life is a gift, whether it is a friend or a visitation from a little bird. Enjoy it while it lasts.
We will not find answers to all life's mysteries, but enjoy them while they last.
Look not for the meaning in everything; just enjoy it while it lasts.
Sometimes you are needed to provide comfort and a warm place - open your heart and enjoy these times.

Mikael enjoyed life and admirably met challenges. We learned many things from him - both in his life and in his death. Yet, it took the existence of a little bird, far from home, to help us realize that there is a time to heal and nothing lasts forever. If we spend our lives perpetually grieving for those who have passed before us, we may miss the little things that make our lives meaningful.

Catalogue Information