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New Horizons and My Angels

by Acaysha

224 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #02-0272; ISBN 1-55369-459-7; US$22.00, C$33.00, EUR21.50, £14.90

A real life journey of a young gal who has to re-learn life again at 25! An inspirational book of one lady's struggle with epilepsy, depression and cancer and how she overcame all of them naturally.

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about the book      about the author      testimonials      sample excerpt and table of contents      catalogue info

About the Book "I started my life all over again when I was 25 years old after I decided to have an innovative, yet miraculous brain surgery to remove the damage in my brain and stop the epileptic seizures. After living with epilepsy since I was 2 years old, I wanted a new life, one without seizures ! After surgery, I regressed back to a two year old mentally and emotionally. Join me as I take you on my journey through recovery and how I re-learned to live again. As you experience with me the laughter and the crying, along with tears of anger and defeat, you will want to hold me, love me and even yell at me as I struggle to grasp the rules of life one more time!" Acaysha "Through the trials and tribulations through life, a woman emerges. A true friend and an angelic being. Many adversities were thrown her way and she emerged victorious with the help of the power that be. Her life is a true inspiration. She touches many and heals many souls. I am honored to know her and be her friend." Many blessings, Rev. Karen Wilkinson

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About the Author Acaysha, an old soul, came into this lifetime with several missions. Born perfect and whole, at the age of two, a "bad batch" of measles vaccine caused brain damage, which led to 22 years of epilepsy, averaging 3-5 major seizures per month. This did not stop her though from becoming the "Poster Child for Epilepsy," riding horses, swimming and performing gymnastics in competition, water skiing and anything else she was told she could "not" do! Then, in the fall of 1992 at the age of 25, her seizure rate jumped to 22 in one month, along with anxiety attacks, pushing her to quit and "just curl up at home." Desperately fighting to get the seizures under control, Acaysha found a fantastic answer and chose to undergo experimental brain surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona, to remove the portions of her brain that were damaged, in an attempt to stop the seizures. She made a deal with God: "Take away my seizures and I'll work for you as a healer, minister, counselor and inspiration to others." Well, the surgery successfully ended the epilepsy, but left Acaysha with the mind and the emotions of a two year old, and the hidden memories of an adult. She experienced hallucinations induced by medications, and the struggle to mature into adulthood, all over again, on her own, without any hands-on instructions or guidance. For the next ten years, she matured very quickly from 2 to 34 years old, due to her fighting attitude that she could achieve any challenge or goal put before her. Her motto was that life needed to be lived with gusto and with no holding back. Along the way, she experienced migraines for 16 straight months in a row, anxiety attacks, and constant bi-polar swings of superwoman highs and deep, dark depressions that led to several attempted suicides. But each time, some type of intervention occurred; a friend's helping hand; a psyche ward counselor's straight forward words; guidance from professional therapists; books, tapes and seminars that gave her hope; and especially conversations with God and her Angels that helped put her back on earth when she wanted to leave. She agreed to be a leader in great achievements and went on to obtain an AA degree in retail marketing and a Bachelor's degree in marketing, both with honors, as well as her own make-up image consulting and clothing line business. Then one day, in a quiet moment on the computer, she met her angels... all seven of them, who told her they were there to teach her; to live and grow and laugh and play. With their help, she survived the emotional, near death effects of a miscarriage; experienced a miracle spiritual healing when the organs in her body shut down by 80%; lived through a major car accident that left her bleeding internally and another car accident that gave her a whiplash; endured being the victim of three major work related accidents of falling objects on top of her head, shoulders and arms; and then was told she had six months to live due to uterine cancer, that was instantly healed in the last month, during a dream conversation with God. The results were confirmed by her medical Doctor and are documented as a miracle healing. Acaysha, is an angelic name that means "Angel of Diversity and Strength." Today, Acaysha, with the help of her band of seven, is also an angel to many people in need, counseling them and giving them healing, hope, and inspiration to keep on living, no matter how tough the going gets. Her story uplifts not only epileptics, but also anyone who is trying to cope with an illness or disability, or anyone who is just down and out, discouraged and depressed. Acaysha's dream is to become a national speaker like Zig Ziglar, helping to heal others through her life stories and survival experiences, and to create an "all inclusive holistic center" where people can find natural answers to their health problems and concerns. For further information about the book, Acaysha, or the holistic center, please contact her at: acaysha@newhorizonsandmyangels.com. The web site is: www.newhorizonsandmyangels.com.

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Testimonials

At the age of 25, Acaysha was starting over, literally. "After 8 hours of surgery and taking out three pieces of my brain the EEG test went silent meaning there was no more seizure activity in my brain...The surgery was a success!"

The surgery was a success, The seizures were gone, but at a price. Acaysha had been regressed emotionally and mentally to before her first seizure--at the age of 2! "So here I was... a quarter of a century old, with a 2 year old brain, living alone, self-employed, trying to figure out life and recover from surgery all at the same time."

Many feelings, Acaysha, author of New Horizons And My Angels had never dealt with during her epilepsy emerged. "I never really dealt with many feelings like fear, anger or lonliness when I had epilepsy. I had epilepsy for so long, I was pretty comfortable with it. Now it was gone and I couldn't depend on it or hide behind it anymore."

She struggled through hallucinations, nightmares, mood swings. At times it felt as though it was too much to take. "...It had been 4 horrendous months of my life. Between the anxiety attacks, migraines 24 hours a day, hallucinations, depression and now the fainting spells, I was fed up!!

Acaysha tried many times to commit suicide. She sought counseling and therapy. She moved constantly in search of doctors and contentment. "In 1995 I was at the 2 1/2 year mark in my recovery-when I decided to return to California, "the land of liberalism and new ideas", so I thought."

With severe mood swings, Acaysha continued to work for Beauti-control cosmetics and did well. At the time she was being treated for her bi-polar symptoms, she also met her seven angels. "We are angels and we are sent here by God to help you. We are going to teach you a lot about life, living and growing up and loving. There are seven of us and we mean no harm to you."

In New Horizons And My Angels, Acaysha's angels teach her creative design and during that year she learns to laugh again. Her cosmetic business is booming. "I had grown in my business, not only as a strong manager and leader, but also as a glamour make-up artist and I loved it!!"

After a dibilitating depression that financially rocked her world, Acaysha was shown the importance of her talents. She could make her own line of clothing with her own creative designs. "So I asked for some confirmation from them and over the next seven days, I had total strangers tell me the outfits that I had made and wore were gorgeous and asked me what boutique did I buy them in."

With the help of close freinds, Acaysha, author of New Horizons And My Angels, opened her own clothing company. Even through her bouts of depression, her creativity continued. She learned to put a catalog together and use her networking skills from her previous jobs to sell her unique line of clothing.

Through trial and tribulation, Acaysha emerges a strong women who learns to love herself and others. The story itself is enthralling. There are important points in the story that I feel would have been better served if given in more detail and written at a slower pace. Overall I enjoyed the story. I thought it fit better as a memoir than an inspirational, but still quite interesting.

Jody Gore is Co-Editor-In-Chief of W.O.W. ezine, Women on Writing. She works with book reviews and interviews. For more information link to Meet the Staff.
www.womenonwriting.com

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"Acaysha Lanning's dramatic story of rebuilding her life after conquering epilepsy offers hope and inspiration to us all." "Thanks for sending this to me, Acaysha. I really love your book's message."
Marissa D'Vari Author - Media Magic: Profit and Promote with FREE Media Placement www.getbookednow.com

"A heart-touching story that motivates the reader to believe that nothing is impossible."
Gerald Jampolsky, MD Author * Love Is Letting Go Of Fear

"Acaysha Dolfin is a dynamic powerhouse in full demonstration, who inconspicuously inspires confidence, faith, wisdom, and clarity of vision in others who are seeking assistance. Along with her able caring spirit as well as her gently gifted and guided angels, her masterly poignant story is told. She reveals her trials and tribulations with ardor and complete candor as her abilities rise from within to conquer life's challenges."
Darlyn Prince Author - Talks With My Son From The Other Side * A Mother's Healing Journey

"Thank You Acaysha for touching my life so deeply. You are a true angel and a great inspiration. Your book has given much hope and inspiration to keep going, even when the rough is winning. You will touch many hearts and souls with your story * it's a honor to know you and be your friend."
Rachel Blankenbaker, Free-lance make-up artist, and fragrance model

"You know I love you & wish you well with your world tour ! You are an inspiration to all those you come in contact with, me included."
Dianne Bauer, friend

"With sincerity and honesty Acaysha shares her dramatic and inspirational life story in her book, New Horizons And My Angels. She was diagnosed with epilepsy when two years of age. At age twenty-five, she consented to brain surgery and became seizure free. However the operation left her with only the skills of a toddler. During ten years of faith and persistence she relearned her lost skills and became the remarkable and wholesome adult that she is today. Her book inspires the reader to overcome personal obstacles and achieve his/her own fulfilling life. An awesome story."
Prayers and blessings,
Rev. Dana Voght

"May you shine forth and show others the way. My best to you always."
Rev. Karen Wilkinson

"I emphasize with you the joy of completing this assignment from God. You are the greatest... Keep on keeping on. What's next ?"
Rev. Sylvia Quarles

"Way to go Acaysha !!You Rock !!We all know that the book will be a huge success !!!!!!"
Sue Rawson, Friend

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Sample Excerpt and Table of Contents

Table of Contents

1.THE BEGINNING OF A FANTASTIC JOURNEY - THE INTRODUCTION

2.IN THE BEGINNING... THE DECIDING POINT; THE SURGERY

3.THE EARLY DAYS OF RECOVERY AND RE-LEARNING

4.THE FEELINGS OF ANGER, FEAR AND DESPAIR, FEELINGS I HAD NEVER FELT BEFORE

5.MEETING MY ANGELS

6.THE DREAMER AND THE HEALER

7.JOURNEY BACK TO THE SOUTH; THE WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS STORY

8.THE MOVE TO FLORIDA - I FINALLY FOUND HOME

9. A COLLECTION OF POEMS WRITTEN BY ME ABOUT LOVE AND LIFE

10.MY FUTURE AND DREAMS; THE "CENTER"

11. CONCLUSION

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Chapter One
THE BEGINNING OF A FANTASTIC JOURNEY - THE INTRODUCTION

In a time when the world is in crisis, I have been guided to channel this book. Hopefully it will give people inspiration and hope in a time of tears and fears. As we all mourn the loses of many, we start to re-examine our lives and the meanings. So my book is meant to be an inspiration to all, whether you are fighting a major illness or disease or you are just having a bad day. This book is meant to inspire and motivate you into giving yourself the strength to keep going and find new answers for your own life. I am hoping to help others move through their challenges and difficulties they face in this lifetime, and to inspire more epileptics to step out of their comfort zone and have the innovative, yet miraculous surgery I had and start living their lives ! Many epileptics are labeled handicapped, because people are scared of the attacks, but under that scary surface is usually a wonderful person, waiting to emerge.

You see, I have had many of my own personal challenges and defeats to deal with in this lifetime - starting with epilepsy at the age of 2 and dealing with it for the first 22 years of my life; going through brain surgery and recovery; drowning in depression and suicide thoughts; over-coming migraines and uterine cancer -with 6 months to live; to finishing college with a bachelors degree in marketing - graduating with honors, to being nine years seizure free in 2001 and living life to the fullest.

I started my life over almost 10 years ago (Oct 13, 1992) - when I decided to conquer my epilepsy- after living with it for over 22 years. On the average I had 3 -5 seizures every month, which I thought was "normal," until I had 22 seizures in less than 30 days and 6 anxiety attacks that I had never had before. The anxiety attacks scared me so badly that I ended up in the emergency room everytime for 6 - 8 hours at a time - having Valium pumped into my veins in outrageous quantities to try to bring them to a halt. I finally decided I didn't want to fight this world alone anymore. My parents had moved 6000 miles away to England and I was finally scared.... really scared!! It took God 24 years to scare me.... and this time he/she surely did it!

I called my mom after one of my "trips to the hospital" to tell her, "I quit - I don't want to fight this world alone anymore !!" "I just want to come home and be your little girl" were the words out of my mouth; words my family had NEVER heard me say before. You see, I was a fighter - I had experienced epilepsy since I was 2 years old, so I grew up with it - it was part of who I was. I learned to deal with it, but it was also part of my hidden drive to "beat this world."

I was the ultimate poster child for epilepsy - nothing seemed to stop me. I drove cars, rode horses, did gymnastics, dated boys, moved away from home, went to college, moved 38 times in 35 years and graduated from college with an AA degree in 1988 in Retail Management / Buying / Merchandising - a specialized degree I have used in my career for over 13 years! I now have my bachelor's degree in Marketing, which I received after nine years of pursuing it while going through brain surgery recovery!

You see my parents, especially my mom, raised me to strive to be "normal" and not let my epilepsy be a handicap or disease. I commend her for instilling that into me at an early age! She was so shocked by my quitting words that she quickly tried to comfort me, telling me that the seizures and anxiety attacks would calm down soon. She then suggested I call the Mayo Clinic and see if there was any new medications or techniques out there that we could try. Reluctantly, I agreed to call them. Since I had already tried every anti-seizure medication available on the market, and in every possible combination, I finally called the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale Arizona, hoping to find some new answers to a very old problem. I was at my wits end and was ready to quit trying and fighting, prior to making this phone call.

Little did I realize how drastically my life would change, when I eagerly agreed to have this innovative surgical procedure done. I thought this was going to be the answer to all of my problems and an EASY way out of this life and into a "perfect life." (boy was I in for a surprise !) I was guided by God to go through with this new brain surgery, as it was going to be my answer to become e ile sy free and have a new life. I just wasn't informed how long and hard the recovery road was going to be!

This has been the hardest, most challenging, exciting, invigorating, frustrating, yet rewarding thing I have ever undertaken before in this lifetime.

To make this situation even more complex, my parents had returned to England for a new job assignment earlier that year and I had just started my cosmetic business so I was all alone, with my parents 6000 miles away and living on another continent ! In tackling the problems and obstacles that came, unforeseen by anyone, I have been through the darkest of days, scariest of moments and most rewarding of times, all by myself.

My mom flew back and forth constantly for the first year, trying to make the transition easier for me, but when my mom wasn't around, I was all alone to fend for myself and teach myself all about life. While she was there, she would do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... she would "just do it" as the Nike commercial would say. Mom was definitely an angel in disguise!

Unfortunately that became her favorite phrase for everything in life... "you just do it!" But to a 2 year old, the instructions on "how to do laundry," "how to cook a meal" and "how to clean house" aren't so simple and one technique doesn't do all those things. I wish it did! I got quite frustrated to say the least and started asking other people questions on the "how-to-do-it" program of life. I had to re-learn everything - including washing my clothes, preparing a meal, scrubbing the bathroom etc. etc.!

I mentally and emotionally regressed back to the age of 2 - when my seizures first began and had to start from scratch learning everything all over again !! Have you ever let your 2-year-old be in charge of the family laundry, fix your meals or pay your bills ? Well I did it - even though I made many white clothes come out with ink spots, (because I didn't sort them from the reds,) and got all the "fuzzies" on my clothes from washing them with the towels!

I even burnt my first meal - pasta, black as the ace of spades! The instructions said add water to a pot and bring it to a boil - they didn't say how long it would take to make it boil. So I put the water on the stove, turned on the burner, and then walked away for almost 30 minutes ! I still had short-term memory loss at this time. Finally I returned to the kitchen and boy was it boiling ! The next direction said add "desired amount of pasta." What is a "desired amount?" - I was hungry so I put the whole box in! Then it said to bring it back to a boil - ugh! Boy this takes forever to do, or at least I thought so! So I went and played solitaire on my computer for almost 45 minutes ! At this point the smoke detector was going off and I didn't know what to do! I ran into the kitchen and there was lots of smoke everywhere. Scared, I called my mom in England, asking "is it done yet?" Remember I was only 2, mentally and emotionally! She was startled, as she could hear the smoke detector going off ! She then proceeded to tell me to open all the doors to let the smoke out. Then she told me to go put water in the pan, so I tried to pick up the hot pan without any hot pads or mitts, as she forgot to mention that. I jumped back and dropped the pan because it was burning my hands ! Ouch !! Realizing what happened she had me put it back on the stove and just bring a glass of water to it. I did and it caused a lot of steam every -where ! Then I asked again, "was it done?" as I was so hungry. She informed me that I had burnt the pasta and needed to just throw the entire pan away. I didn't understand!! So she told me this time to use hot pads and throw it in the trashcan, so I did - water and all ! Swash went the water as it hit the bottom of the trash can ! Frustrated at this point, she asked me if I emptied the water out first, I said "NO, you didn't tell me to!" This is one of my favorite stories, as it shows you how much I had to learn all over again. I ended up having a sandwich, so I didn't have to cook anything ! After that, I learned it only took 8 minutes to bring the water to a boil and the entire meal was done in less than 15 minutes! I ended up making pasta a major staple in my diet for almost 5 years ! I love to cook now, but those beginning days were priceless!

Luckily I learned quickly after doing something one time, whether right or wrong, because it was just like deja vous and I would remember just how to do it ! I went through puberty in 6 months, not 6 years like most youngsters ! I moved 15 times over that 10-year period, trying to find answers and people to help speed up my healing process. I yearned to "be normal" and healthy and was willing to do anything, move anywhere and try whatever was natural to get well!

My family, friends and myself were all very unprepared and ill-equipped to deal with all the challenges that I was destined to face, including massive depression, anger, migraine headaches, and suicide attempts. Through this process, I have become very spiritual and holistic and completely "in tune" to my body and its needs - learning natural ways of healing and feeling good. Little did I know this experience would benefit me personally and career wise in the future.

Going through all these changes and challenges, I was really very scared and overwhelmed; yet I didn't really know how to ask for help properly. So I would do dumb things to get attention like: drink lots of alcohol, which I had never done in my epileptic years; to trying to commit suicide by over-dosing on pills and medications; and running away from home for days on end without telling anyone where I was! I can now see this today as childish ranks and ways of getting attention, but coming through it I thought it was all the real thing and good options to choose!

I had a very strong will to survive the surgery and be successful, but I was also very unequipped to do the job by myself. I never realized how strong I was in dealing with the epilepsy all my life, from the age of two on, until I didn't have it anymore to lean on. You see seizures had their lace in my life, as they were wonderful stress detectors. If I stressed out, I had a seizure and the level of stress would be reduced significantly. If I was too tired, not enough sleep, too hot, too cold, too emotional (good or bad) I had a seizure!! I walked a very straight and narrow line, trying to control my seizure activity.

Now, after surgery, the seizures were gone, so I had no coping tools or ways to deal with stress, exhaustion, poor diet, climate changes, etc. I had to re-develop or re-create my "tool kit" for life. These bi-polar swings were frustrating, exhausting and very overwhelming at times! I was definitely going through manic bi-polar swings and didn't even know it, until later! If I stressed out too much, I would have an anxiety attack, a migraine headache or some form of a panic attack. These were my first skills I learned in my new tool kit for life. I have since replaced them with meditation, prayers, and visualization, herbs and exercise - but many years later!!

Having to re-learn everything, I have become the biggest book worm in the world, so I read all the time, attend seminars and listen to many tapes. I keep trying to understand the purpose of life, success, happiness, health and wealth - as all of these have the potential to be conquered in one lifetime!!

I have read every book and listened to every tape out there on portraying the "right image;" how to portray confidence in one's self; finding peace within while the world is chaotic; finding your "real self" and life's purpose; speaking with your angels and learning to love it; getting motivated and motivating others; and finding the blessing and good in everything. Through this great journey and all the stages of recovery of my new life, I have seen and experienced some very dark and dreary days; I have risen to the brightest of dawns; I have lived through gut-wrenching moments of great horror; and been awed by the greatest despair side-by-side with the greatest achievements and accomplishments one could ever experience!!

All of these extreme life experiences have benefited and prepared me to tackle today's obstacles and challenges. I have now learned never to give up, no matter how tough and trying it may get. I believe any goal I set is worth achieving, no matter how many big stone walls I have to climb over to get there! Obstacles became my middle name for a while, because I was re-learning every aspect and phase of life. I tried many ways and techniques to learn, heal and grow and not all of them were easy and stress free. The "boot camp training of life" that I went through during the first six years of my recovery, which caught me back up to my physical age, were very trying times. It consisted of growing up, learning to cook again, finding the new "me" of myself, learning right from wrong, going to work, going to school, remembering how to play, and finding balance and love in my life. Through this period of re-understanding the game of life, I have blossomed into a wonderful, dynamic, young lady, who knows who she is and where she is going. "Nothing is going to stop me now," has become my mantra. My ultimate professional goal is to become a public speaker, (maybe even the female Zig Ziglar of the world.) not only for epileptics, but also for anyone trying to overcome an illness or disability, or for those feeling discouraged or depressed. I feel like I can conquer anything now with no limitations. The sky is not even my limit!!

I hope to inspire you, motivate you and delight you, leaving you counting your blessings each and every day! I will share my newfound wisdom and life experiences with you as my wonderful team of angels continues to teach me new ways of living, laughing and loving. My angels have taught me so much about enjoying the journey we all call "life." I am now being guided to share that knowledge with you! These and many more life-changing experiences will be shared with you in this true-life story! ENJOY !!!

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Catalogue Information

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