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UnCommon Sense for Life and Living

by Dr. Wm Baughman

264 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #02-0522; ISBN 1-55369-709-X; US$23.50, C$28.50, EUR18.60, £12.90

How can common obstacles to happiness and contentment be removed from life? Try a little "UnCommon Sense". Dr. Baughman will guide you through overcoming problems with stress, emotional hurts and relationships. He will help you deal with the unavoidable in life. Because, while common, these frustrations are not without solutions. This book is jam-packed with usable strategies and solutions representing the culmination of 20 years of professional experience, education and training. For down-to-earth answers for dealing with people, understanding yourself, coping with hurts and stress, overcoming pain from the past, improving communication, understanding differences between men and women, managing conflict and for the 'how to's' of change, look inside "UnCommon Sense for Life & Living".

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about the book      about the author      sample excerpts or Table of Contents      catalogue info

About the Book UnCommon Sense for Life & Living employs humor, quotations, and illustrations for overcoming many of life's common frustrations. Chapters include a questionnaire for applying the information in a personal way. The author delivers in a straightforward manner, not stopping with simply pointing out the problems, but providing the solutions. "How to's" are given for dealing with the misconceptions of what will produce happiness, understanding the effects of the past, family, and relationships. Recognizing and managing the differences between men and women are addressed. Skills for improving communication, including recognizing "pit falls" and how to deal effectively with conflict are reviewed. Since stress is one of life's most common ailments, it is dealt with extensively. Resources for life's greatest challenge, change, are clearly spelled out. The author offers unique insights into life and guides the reader through the process of personal growth. His 20 years of experience are brought to bear with UnCommon Sense. Dr. Baughman draws from his knowledge as a licensed psychologist helping others overcome personal pain and dealing with interpersonal struggles. A frequent lecturer and supervisor of clinicians, as well as the father of two and husband of 22 years, Dr. Baughman reflects simple, logical approaches to many of life's puzzles in 270 pages of UnCommon Sense. For more information, check out www.uncommonsense.bz

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About the Author Wm. Baughman is a licensed psychologist in private practice in metropolitan Atlanta. He received his Ph.D from Penn State and interned at Indiana University. Prior to going into private practice, Bill developed and supervised a number residential and in-patient programs. Drawing from his 20 years of experience in aiding others, he penned UnCommon Sense for Life & Living, hoping to help more people.

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Sample Excerpts or Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

"At the Speed of Life!"

That annoying imagery, concerning the pace of life being similar to fowl scurrying to and fro with heads lopped off, does not grasp the essence of living in the twenty-first century. A more accurate picture would be of chickens darting about with their feathers being plucked out, slowly, one by one. Life at times feels frantic and out of control. The pace and demands of living can become too taxing and at times overwhelming. The demand to run too often ignores the need to rest. The more there is to do, the faster the pace. The faster the pace, more seems to slip between the cracks. As stress mounts, tasks completed can still leave the sense of too little accomplished. Inevitably, something is left undone. Due to the need to focus on the next emergency, there is little time to savor the victories.

Most people can relate to what feels like an ever increasing pace of living. The speed at which life is experienced rarely seems to be in low gear. Human engines are revved to the point of meltdown. Humanity is moving so quickly through daily life that the focus has become simply "doing."

There is precious little time for thinking about "how" things are being done, let alone enjoying daily activities. Time, work, family responsibilities and personal needs result in feelings of being pulled in all directions. How often does life require more than it seems to give? Needing to be several places at the same time, constantly running here and rushing there is normal. Being inundated by demands (some reasonable, some not), feeling overwhelmed by the pace at which information is received and overloaded by the amount that must be absorbed is daily bread. Too much has become too common. Life is frantic, pressured and often unsatisfying. Given enough time to ferment, these ingredients become the brew of burnout. The need to slow the action down and understand what will really provide the fulfilling relationships always desired is necessary. The career success so much longed for, and the peace of mind ardently searched for can be the result. If only life could be collapsed into a video tape with the option of pushing the "pause" button, or at least "slow motion." The time to reflect would provide a look at how lives are being lived, and give the opportunity to recognize aspects of living which don't bring happiness. The ability to slow down and see new options would be life changing. Unfortunately, life has no pause button. However, a person can "pause" to reconsider their lifestyle. New answers are there to be grasped. People are looking for down to earth answers to life's perennial problems. Difficulties in relationships, understanding one's self, and coping with stress continue. Unfortunately, common sense has been replaced by common confusion. Common sense seems antiquated in what has become an uncommon world. The complicated nature of modern living demands new strategies. An uncommon world now requires "uncommon sense."

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction: "At The Speed Of Life" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Part I: "Who Goes There, Friend Or Foe?": Understanding People . . 13

Chapter 1: "UnCommon Sense" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
    Worldly Wisdom
    The Common
    Normal And Healthy
    The Lie
    Happiness
    Reality
    Change
    Living Life

Chapter 2: "Un-Lost Luggage": Emotional Baggage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
    UnHoly Half Dozen
    Suitcases
    Family Baggage
    Past Relationships
    Trauma
    Garbage Buying
    The Cost
    Abuse
    Losing The Baggage
    The Formula

Chapter 3: "Viva la Difference": Gender Differences . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
    Marital Bliss Vs. Marital Blistex
    Androgyny
    Spectacles
    Differences
    Values/What's Important
    Victory/Goals
    Validity/Identity

Chapter 4: "Disorganized Crime": Family Influence. . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
    The Family Play
    Emotion
    Anger
    Communication
    The Opposite Sex
    Intimacy
    Trust
    Money
    Relationships
    Love
    Roles
    Alcohol And Drugs
    Values
    God
    Dysfunction

Part II: "Wrestling With Life": Common Struggles . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

Chapter 5: "Can We Talk?": The Art Of Communication. . . . . . . . 99
    The Tongue
    The Power
    Basics Of Communication
    Message Types
    Pitfalls
    Active Listening
    Commitment
    Time
    Family Rules

Chapter 6: "Knock the Chip Off ": Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
    A Definition
    Sources Of Conflict
    Adversaries
    Process
    Emotions
    Attitude
    Mismanagement Styles
    Rules For Managing Conflict
    A Formula
    Intimate Relationships
    More Rules
    Conflict Management
    Concluding Outcomes

Chapter 7: "The Dis-Ease Of Our Time": Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
    Sources Of Stress
    Internal Stress
    External Stress
    Vulnerability
    Defining Stress
    General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS)
    Signs And Symptoms Of Stress
    Sources Of Stress/Stressors

Chapter 8: "Facing The Beast": Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182
    Good Stress
    Stress And Performance
    Coping With Stress
    Physical Means of Combating Stress
    Mentally Coping With Stress
    Major On Majors
    Emotional Strategies
    Money Management
    Management
    Overlapping Strategies
    10 Do's And Don'ts Of Managing Stress
    Life Management
    Stress
    Burnout
    Signs And Symptoms Of Burnout

Part III: "Reaching For Fulfillment": Not Staying The Same. . . . . 214

Chapter 9: "The Longest Four Letter Word": Change. . . . . . . . . 215
    What Is Not Resolved Is Reproduced
    Obstacles
    Pain: The Necessary Evil
    Bigotry
    The Embrace
    Fear Of The Unknown
    Excuses For Not Changing
    Reason To Change
    How To Change
    A Test For Change
    Encouraging Change

Chapter 10:"The Conclusion": Not The End. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 260
    Pause And Reflect
    Uncommon Sense
    Unlost Luggage
    Gender Differences
    Family Influence
    Communicating
    Conflict
    Stress
    Coping With Stress
    Change

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Catalogue Information

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