Trafford Publishing: Life's Scars

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Life's Scars

by Billie Sue Atkinson

150 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #02-0558; ISBN 1-55369-745-6; US$17.00, C$23.00, EUR15.00, £10.40

Bringing faith back into the world around us. Heal our people and reveal the scandals of Political ways destroying our children. Love for People and Children, especially victims and special needs.

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about the book about the author sample excerpt catalogue info

About the Book

It is my writings, in which I speak, that keep me. And in my writings, seems my only release of pain and horror of yesterdays. Let me try to show you, what I mean. Let us go back to a time when "love" over powered "hate". When neighbors and families raised our children. Back to a time when all people knew God. Times before war and political battles! All people knew "love". Do you remember those days? Some how "loving" someone means differently to each individual. And to our children, what have they to say? What have we taught them?
As for me, my children's loss is great. I pray all is not in vain. I sat one day, pondering issues I have no control over. As I often do! And God gave me this poem with the events of September 11th, which has inspired this book!
The Time has come; to Redefine our Leader's from our Ruler's
Our people's eyes reveal the pain,
And the abuse of unprevented vain.
We fight now, against others of terrorism,
Yet not seeing the horror of communism here.
For most are pawns to a system who fails,
We helplessly listen to our future leaders cry out to prevail.
The "evil doer's" against us, the scars, we now carry,
Are we able to have them buried?
The abuse of power, misleading our future,
One day will we find "love" to be mutual?
As men, in power, boast and cover their evil ways,
Is our federal government going to stop this decay?
In memory of September 11th, 2001, World Trade System, USA! Let it NOT be in vain. Together we can stand united against evil, within our own system, as well!
I beg you take action here, as well as afar. It is God who sent me, and you! Together, we have the power to stop this "hate" by loving instead.
It was told here, in our Holy Bible in Rev.8:13...(Then I looked, and heard an eagle crying with a loud voice, as it flew in mid-heaven, "Woe, woe, woe to those who dwell on earth, at the blasts of the other trumpets which the three angels are about to blow!") We all seen and felt the Eagle Cry. We must see the pits of hell are wide open now! God is our only refuge! Time is near, now how do we heal?

About the Author

I am a 33 year old, mother to two sons. My book cover is a painting I have done of myself, as a child seeking refuge from darkness's of world to pray! My book preface, of "Life's Scars", was written in September of 2001. My book is an autobiography of my life's struggles and things I have learned in faith about our world and the system that governs. I pray it helps us heal from all the hate, this world teaches. My book and poem were inspired by the unity of a nation's people, as we prayed united those weeks that followed that tragic terror.
I am a veteran of our United States of America's Army, 101st Division, Fort Campbell, Kentucky. I grew up quick back then, it was the hardest thing I ever did, except missing out on my son, Joseph's life. I have an Associates Degree in Human Services, with over ten years of personal study into child psychology. I have six years of personal study into our politics, and Justice System here within America. I was born and raised here within Tioga County, Pennsylvania. I would say I had a normal up bringing average to other's my age. I grew up in Daggett, PA, a small town in Northern Pennsylvania, born in Blossburg in the spring of 1969. The painful reality of growing up in a split family is something I know well. My hometown was a great supporting neighborhood to my family and I. I was a pretty defiant teenager, as many are. I am sure my parents would agree; I always had something to say. I questioned their authority, as I still do with authority today. So many areas would be so much better, if our laws and rights were equally enforced.
You must realize that the original Klu Klux Klan started here within Tioga County, Pennsylvania. Many still with so much hate within them selves, it makes me sad to see them teach their hate to all they meet. It took me years to understand, the world around me, and how could we help stop the abuse so "We the People" could heal and trust again a neighbor or a system that is worthy of our friendship. When I was little, all people I knew feared God's wrath and knew His Love, even if their life did not show it at every turn.
How can I alone help heal this brokenness and pain? I ask continually for unity in prayer, on any issue that we all can come to agree on. I beg our Government to start enforcing all these rights that we think we have, and give back to us our children's rights to be free from abuse. Like mental abuse on children is one of my big subjects, for it steals their self-esteem and hinders them with pain, our doctors medicate, not knowing how to heal us. Every person in this world has a gift to share, if we would first look in our own reflections, to heal from all our hate, before you go to judging all, around you.
My favorite saying is "We all are victims of circumstance and situation". Yet the time to heal is now, let's stop the cycle of being "Hate Teachers". I beg you all to pray, and ask God to heal us now! As we come into unity, all battles can be won by spiritual prayer, and not by flesh of innocent blood. What have we taught to our children today? Ask them, you will see the pain within them strong.
Sincerely with love,
Billie Sue Atkinson

Sample Excerpt

excerpt from Chapter Three: My Return to Tioga County, PA!
It only took about two weeks for children services to threaten me, "they would take my boys". I knew they had no grounds for taking them. I had a girlfriend listening as we spoke! I thought it was a personal vendetta against me for the years I spent with Bruce, the times I begged them to help and the times they only taught more abuse. Maybe because Randy and his family made powerful friends in police work or children services, and wanted to own Joe too? This was in a phone call, after I refused to allow them into the home where we lived, I asked for another worker. And in all reality, the person I lived with refused me to allow them there. I told the worker, who was also Bruce's worker, that he had no grounds to take my boys. I even asked him to give me a different worker than Bruce's and he refused me another worker at every request. He told me he could take them for reasons of house hopping. I told him, that there was no law on this, and it was not what I seen I was doing. I knew many people who moved around much more than me, and they don't get threatened to lose their children! He (Mr. Cevette) lied to me, and told me he had a policeman on their way to get my boys. He was threatening me so much; I was so scared, I told him, "I would run with my boys before allowing you to take them." I guess that was why they did this, to gain custody of my boys.
Being so young, I did not know the laws so I could not protect my boys. I grew up next to one of their foster homes, I knew the girls in the home, and about times they got raped in some of these homes, and the many cruel things that went on in some of these homes, yet I hope some of them are good, but I never heard anything good about any of them. How could I keep my boys safe from this? I did pray again, now, begging God would keep my boys safe! I took Joe to Randy, begging he keep him safe from them, plus it was Friday, and his weekend for visitation. I kept David with me, my mom refused to take him so many times in the past; I knew he was more than she could handle too and I was not sure I could even trust her anymore. We went to another girlfriends, Deb. I held David tight and was scared of what they might do to us. About six pm, they pulled into her drive way.
I knew they wanted David, and I now had no choice. If I had known the laws better, this would not have happened. I seat belted my son into their car, tried to tell him, it would be okay, knowing it was not okay. He was two now, and Joe was four. After placing David, in their car, I told them that I would be in court on Monday, and they know, as well as I, they have no right to do this. Maybe why it took them six hours to find some way to keep me from court on Monday?
I was so upset I called my mom. I told her if I found out she was involved in all this; she would never see my boys or me again. I have no idea what she did after our talk, but I started drinking.
The police pulled back in about midnight, with a warrant for my arrest. I had no idea what I did. I know I did nothing illegal. Was it their only way to keep my boys from me and illegally jail me to shut up and allow it? I was drunk though, making me really not understand how I could have gotten charges of "Terroristic Threats" for any reason. I asked them; how I could have threatened these people I did not even know or ever talk to. Where is the proof? I could not understand why no one understood; I could not have threatened these people! I supposed the children services made it up or my mother in her ways of not understanding how others interpreted her words had been misled, another case of our justice system using family as their pawns to rip and tare families apart, not protecting our children. Someone said I made threats against four children service workers, only one who I even knew, and our local Judge Bob.
I never made any such threats and could not understand who said I did. Yet if I had threatened them, they would have taken me to jail when I did it, not six hours later, after coming up with their plans to keep me out of court? I only had threatened to run with my boys rather than letting them have them, it was them threatening me and refusing to give me a worker other than this one. I only threatened my mother that she would not see us again. This was six hours after I let them have David. Why were they be doing this to my boys and I? I worked with them, so not to traumatize David more, if I would have felt to threaten them, as they said, why did I give them David? Why could no one see this?
Looking back, I did not pray much; I was not listening to God either. I knew now He was warning me to not come here, I ignored God. It might have been a consequence for me not listening. I allowed satin to control me, not knowing it? Maybe, it was a consequence for having a child out of wedlock? But they hand cuffed and shackled me; they never even did that to Bruce.
It was obvious now, the laws were written to protect them, not us? It would seem to me, my mother made some phone calls and maybe the police used her words in a different way than she understood she said. She might have been their pawn, to get evidence of anything they could find, on me. Her ignorance of it all, she always over reacted as I did too. It would have been easy to see her words being placed into different text, to lie to get rid of me. If I were in jail, then in court on Monday, the county would have no one to stop them from destroying my family and getting the federal money for taking another child.
I went before Judge Farrell, district justice. He told me he was going to teach me to shut up. He seemed obviously mad, at me or just the fact of having to be woke up in the middle of the night for this! I had not said anything; I had not done anything. Why was I treated as if I was such a bad criminal? How could they treat me this way, I thought? Well, he placed me in Bradford County Jail in lieu of 50, 000 dollars bail. Tioga County had no women's ward, so they transported me to Bradford. I spent the next five days in solitary confinement there and court went on without me on Monday.
The county gave me a public defender, Lenore! She called me on Monday, during court. But allowed the Judge to take Joe from me, and give Randy full custody. David was placed with my sister, must be the foster home could not handle him? How could this be, I thought! I had my boys stolen from me; it seemed, due to the lies of our Tioga County Children Service Workers, State Police, and/or my mother and Randy and Bruce, someone. And I do not have any right to know what evidence they ever had and I do but am not allowed it!
Later, I found out that the only witness I had, was told to go home by the county workers, and she ignorantly left, unknowingly. She could have told it all, she even heard how the workers lied to me, threatening me, and tricking me into saying, " I would run with my boys before I would allow you to have them". Without her, the only ones there was the children service workers, and their lies, and Randy, and a bias paid lawyer. I never did get the order mailed to me from that court, so I know little about what was said there as with most of their orders.
The operations of this county Children Services was either ignorant of people's needs or they purposely held grudges and destroyed families verses what the laws said they should be doing. Maybe because of our federal government giving them more money to destroy families rather than helping us, with no oversight from federal government and no police willing to enforce laws and especially rights? Our federal level of civil rights has even turned me away without any help or investigation.
So many children I seen, they seemed to do nothing to help them, leaving them in abusive homes. Now they took my boys, yet never took ones there wasn't any hope for. So many children being abused, and mine were not one of them, till they stepped in. Giving local government the power to do as they pleased, to weasel the laws to their advantage while ignoring other laws and rights. They ruled out of "hate"and "bias" , it seemed obvious! Yet this was only the beginning of the mounting evidence to come.
On the fifth day of being held in Bradford County Jail, in solitary confinement, my sister bailed me out. When it came time for court on my charges, the only witness there was my mother, making it appear it was her words that made the charges on me. I may never know though, she won't admit it was her, and I am sure no one in Children Services will admit the truth either.
I tried to get my public defender to investigate, but she seemed not interested in the truth, making me think she knew more about it than she ever told me. As my lawyer, I asked her for advice. Her words to me were I should continue to go into the Army, and they would help me get back my son. But that was not how it went. I took her advice as professional legal advice, although I did not realize she had not been in the Army, so how could she know. I trusted her, when I should not have.
She set up another hearing, before Judge Bob, where I got full custody of David back. And Judge Bob stood up, obviously mad, pointed his finger at children service workers, and told them, they lied to him, to get the order to take my boys. I asked about returning Joe to me and the judge told me it was now a custody matter. I had no choice and no money to fight for him back, this should be illegal. It is the same thing as abductions. "Free Justice for All", well that is not seen here in any way shape or form!
The judges words should have, I felt, given proof, that by law they also needed to return Joe to me. I begged Lenore to fight it, turn in the judge and the county workers. But she refused. I even hired another lawyer, who told me that the court had decided against handing him back, before we even got into court. This lawyer soaked me about 1, 000 dollars for nothing, not even a standing visitation now! He also refused to turn it in to the state or Judicial Conduct Boards. Our system seems to take advantage of any area where they can gain money, and not enforce our constitutional rights or laws and their oaths to serve and protect our people. Is this using our down faults for their gains, selective profiling? Doing opposite our laws and their jobs? Is it just another scandal all refuse to allow out in public?

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