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"For the Love of Matthew" Growing Up With Down Syndrome

by Janice Credit Houska

200 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #02-0885; ISBN 1-55395-171-9; US$19.50, C$22.95, EUR16.00, £11.50

A mother bares her soul as she tells the story of finding out her son has Down syndrome, and the grief, pain and guilt that follow. Her story is interwoven with family tragedies and joys as she devotes her life to teaching him, making sure everything possible is done to ensure his growth and learning. A fine young man emerges who is reading at three and by the time he is ten, he is playing the piano. He has since added the harmonica, xylophone and guitar to his musical talents and he has preformed publicly for the past several years. A source of encouragement for parents of handicapped children, and for educators who wish to understand more closely the life of a child with Down syndrome.

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About the Book      About the Author      Reviews      Sample Excerpts      Catalogue Info

About the Book The story of Matthew begins in the labor room. There are questions about whether he is "okay" as he is only four pounds, ten ounces, and his skin color was unusually red. It isn't until the next day, that the suspicions are realized when a doctor tells the parents he suspects Matthew has Down syndrome. What follows is an anguish that only a parent who has been through this would understand. The process of grieving for the loss of a normal child is followed day by day until the determination to make things right takes the place of guilt, sadness and anger. Matthew's mother goes through a process of teaching that encompassed every day, and in the end good results came out of it all, even though the doctors gave little hope for Matthew learning or being able to take care of himself. Her methods are outlined in the story, which included mountains of word cards and a constant flow of stimulation. He was reading his first few words at three years old and by the time he was ten he was playing the piano and now at seventeen his musical talents have grown whereas he is also playing the harmonica, xylophone and guitar. He has performed publicly dozens of times and is sought after regularly to appear in community events.

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About the Author A native of Shirley, Massachusetts, Ms. Houska moved to Fordville, ND with her husband, La Vere Potulny in 1967. They had two sons, Clint and Todd, and after receiving a Bachelor of Arts degree in Elementary Education from the University of North Dakota, she taught first and second grade in Fordville for five years. Mr. Potulny was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident in 1983. She is now living in Grafton, ND with her second husband, Ron Houska and their son Matthew. She is currently a substitute teacher as well as co-owner of Houska's Hallmark in Grafton. Ms. Houska has written four published children's books under the name Janice Credit Potulny.

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Reviews

"...an inspiring and encouraging book for anyone who works with the disabled or has a family member or friend that is disabled. That's the main reason why Janice wrote it, because she wanted to give hope to families and caregivers. She wanted to give answers to someone the same way she needed them 17 years ago.
"More importantly, this book is excellent for anyone, whether working with disabled people or not. It truly opens up a person's heart and helps one realize how important acceptance, understanding and compassion can be in the life of any human being. "

"There were moments, as my eyes drifted across the pages that tears surfaced and my heart went out to Matthew and his family. And then there were those experiences that made me giggle out loud, like when Matthew's grandfather tried desperately to potty train him."
- from a review by Christine Jensen in The Walsh County Record

I have just finished reading your book, For the Love of Matthew.  What a lovely way of praising your son's gifts and abilities.  Thank you.

I am the Executive Director of the Herkimer Area Resource Center in Central New York State.  We serve 600 people with disabilities.  I have many friends with disabilities and reflect quite often on the fact that we are all equal in the eyes of God.  That comes through so clearly in your book.

Your love will be an inspiration for many parents and for staff of agencies such as ours as well.  Today I will offer your book to our staff, not only for the inspiration you give, but for their professional development as well.

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Sample Excerpts

Chapter Nine On September 19 th, Mom and I were spending a quiet morning doing laundry, taking care of Matthew, and of course, lots of conversation. The phone rang, and I jumped to answer it. The voice on the other end was clinical sounding, cold and to the point.        "Mrs. Houska, I am calling from the United Hospital in Grand Forks. The results of the chromosome test revealed the extra chromosome which indicates the condition commonly referred to as Down syndrome."        Confused, or unwilling to understand, I asked him to repeat.I must have misunderstood. It can't be so simple, so cut and dried as that!        "Please," I cried, "Are you saying that Matthew does have Down syndrome?" The reply was simple and much dreaded, "Yes, he does."        I could no longer speak. I quietly and numbly place the phone back on its cradle. Mom was sitting there, her eyes riveted to mine, not breathing, not speaking. Ron stood there, frozen to the spot. I looked at both of them and they knew without me having to tell them, but I knew they needed to hear it, as I did. When I could finally find my voice, I cleared my throat and said through my sobs, "That was the hospital....the results...Matthew....has Down syndrome."        There was no way I could have prepared myself for that moment. It had to be the most difficult in my life. I tried to be strong for Ron and my Mom, but I wanted to scream, to cry, and to beat on something! I wanted Matthew to be normal!        I looked at my Mom and there were tears in her eyes. She didn't say anything; she just looked at Matthew through her tears, trying to be strong for my sake.        Ron put his arm around me and said, "Don't worry, he'll be fine."        I looked at Matthew asleep in his bassinet, put my hand over my mouth to muffle a scream that was waiting to escape.        "Oh God, it can't be true!" I said softly.        We were all trying to be strong for each other, and it wasn't working very well. We all felt the pain stabbing directly into our hearts that the child we had all grown to love so completely was destined to suffer a life with a disability.        To make matters worse, Mom was scheduled to leave that day. If ever I needed her to lean on, it was at that time, but the facts had to be faced, and I must face them like an adult. There were many tears at the airport, not only because she was leaving and I would miss her, but because we finally knew the truth, and now we needed to go through the process of accepting that truth I had to let her go, and stand alone. I had to face the fact that my child, Matthew has Down syndrome.

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Catalogue Information

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