Trafford Publishing: Building a Strong Christian Family Foundation

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Building a Strong Christian Family Foundation

by Romy Baylon

184 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-0088; ISBN 1-55395-725-3; US$19.00, C$20.95, EUR15.50, £11.00

This book provides a concrete, interesting and intelligent way to truly understand the realities that confound the family, by clearly illustrating the complementary roles of each member.

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about the book about the author sample excerpt catalogue info

About the Book

This generation of parents are better educated and most probably the richest in history but most parents have grown to embrace the fact that the material gain from their labour outweighs everything to the point of setting aside their godly responsibility to their family. The sphere of materialism is so strong that they become disillusioned about the importance of moral and spiritual values. The original intention of building a strong Christian family foundation becomes secondary. Do not ignore the signs of the times: the Christian family is in extreme danger of losing its identity. We need help! The Christian family needs help!
The book covers those vital elements in building and maintaining a strong Christian family foundation. You'll discover how to reinforce relationships by clearly illustrating the complementary roles of each member of the family, use your God-given responsibility to build a strong foundation for your home on the rock-solid wisdom, love and understanding, promote the total development and preservation of the family, identify potential family problems and overcome crisis, and learn, act, and teach family values and create strong Christian legacy.
Unless we go back to the very foundation of a loving home ruled with wisdom and understanding, with Jesus Christ and the center, the proliferation of commercialism, peer pressure and the obligations imposed by society will press on.
You need to invest time and do your homework.

About the Author

Romy Baylon was enjoying a successful career in the hospitality industry working for one of the most prestigious private clubs in the nation. He surrounded himself with the movers and shakers of the business and the political world of the state of California. He was on his way to the top and his future never looked brighter. In the late 90's, his ascent came to a screeching halt. He was faced with the life-changing question: "What is your purpose in life?" Equipped with nothing more than faith and determination, he found himself back in the Philippines, after being away for almost two decades. His quest led to many trials and tribulations including separation from his family. It could have easily broken him, but he stayed the course and chose to trust in the Lord. After two years of soul-searching, he was blessed and guided by the Holy Spirit to express his life experiences in writing. He wrote six compositions in the next twelve months. He resides with his family in Arcadia, California.
Visit the author's webpage at www.thevictorywithin.com.

Sample Excerpt

excerpt from Part One: The Signs of Times
When God created man and woman in his own image, he gave us this blessing, to multiply, become fruitful, fill the earth and rule the land. -- Genesis 1:28. Many had taken the message literally and multiply they did! But what's missing is the biblical truth that comes with the blessing - responsibility. It must be the objective of a family to multiply, nurture, develop, and teach the value of faith, then release into this world children with a rock-solid Christian foundation.
As noble as the objectives are in raising children, many parents today are bounded by what society demands of them rather than by the original purpose of developing and teaching the value of faith, then releasing into this world children with rock-solid Christian foundations. Sure, this generation of parents are better educated and most probably the richest in history but raising children in this cyber age requires more than just the basic knowledge of parenting.
The world today has become a rat-race that catches almost everyone in the material sphere of survival to the neglect of the very core of Christian family values. Too many struggle just to keep up with the false impression society has dictated to us. Many have placed their values in the wrong things, leading them to disenchanted lives. Stephanie Coontz, a professor of history and family studies at Evergreen State College Washington says,
"Rapid technological change has contributed to that sense of instability. Today's middle-class parents are reacting to the aftershocks of the seismatic shift to the digital economy, just as blacksmiths and farmers in the 1820s worried that their kids wouldn't make it through the Industrial Revolution. Parents today are having a comparable anxiety crisis." The foundation of the home must be built around wisdom an understanding; and where there is knowledge, the rooms are furnished with valuable, beautiful things. -- Proverbs 24:3-4
People have embraced the fact that having a good life and place under the sun has become their primary motive, before seeking the Kingdom of God. We have been brainwashed by society that materialism is good. More money is good. A bigger house is good. A fatter bank account is good. A new model car is good. A diverse portfolio is good. More property is good. What about "sacrificing" for the good and benefit of the family and marriage? Or is life to fulfill one's greedy ambition? Our vision has been so fogged up that we have lost our perspective on what matters most in our lives.
In his book Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom comments on Morrie Schwartz's wisdom about the "having a good life craze" of today:
"These were the people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love and gentleness or for tenderness or for sense of comradeship."
Times have changed from when the father was the sole breadwinner and provider in the family and the mother was left to care for the daily household needs and to ensure that the children were raised according to one's faith. The pressures and false impression society places upon us have moved many mothers to join the rat-race in order to fill their material desire. This is a phenomenon the world over.
In her Atlantic Monthly article, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead wrote:
"The great tragedy of our time is that many American children are failing in school not because they are intellectually or physically impaired, but because they are emotionally incapacitated. The discipline problems in today's suburban schools--assaults on teachers, unprovoked attacks on other students, screaming outbursts in class--outstrip the problems that were evident in the toughest city schools a generation ago. It is no wonder that children are emotionally distracted and unable to concentrate at school. They are preoccupied and upset by the explosive drama of their own families."
In the Philippines the disintegrating family scene is even worse because the father or the mother have to settle in a far away land, across the ocean to fulfill a fallacy that working abroad will provide all the basic needs, a better future, and then some. How popular is this erroneous belief? a,most seven million Filipinos are working abroad. That's one-third of the working population! Little did they know that their sacrifice wouldn't just be measured by the cost of the physical and emotional but by a threat to the very foundation of Christianity--a wholesome family.
Today, most of us feel that our job and our contribution to our social organization are more important than our responsibility to our family. Most men (and even women) feel that their identity is wrapped around the personality of their career. This has created a feeling of personal security that pushes aside the need to create a healthy family environment. Many have trapped themselves in their work giving it more priority than the responsibility of building a better family foundation. It gives them more pleasure to be around their working environs while neglecting their God-given responsibility and denying the pain of future family dysfunction.
The credo nowadays had become "work-work-work" instead of "pray-pray-pray." Most parents have grown to embrace the fact that the material gain from their labor outweighs everything to the point of selling their lives to their work, becoming slaves. The enjoyment of a healthy family relationship is far from their mind. They are focused on the idea of "having it all" and nothing will ever stop them. This twisted view of family values and relationships will be on the top rung. Often, this misconception will only be realized after a heart attack or the loss of a family member, usually too little time left, too late. Have you ever heard someone say on their deathbed how they wish that they had spent more time in the office? The family needs help.
Again, Morrie Schwartz:
"Money is not a substitute for tenderness and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I am sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have."
Parents should never put their career, community involvement, extra-curricular activities, or even church responsibilities ahead of their family obligations. Too much outside and leisure activity makes the children (or spouse) feel like second-class citizens. This creates a vacuum that needs to be filled. That vacuum will be filled by all means. One must bear in mind that next to God, our immediate family must rank highest in the list of priorities if we are to establish a credible relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ.
"...We marry and have a family of our own. And at each stage we have a God-given responsibility to all other members of our family. -- John Stott
Realities can never be distinguished as "all's well." Just look around! Divorce is ever increasing, and to top it off, many Christian societies, including the Philippines support legalized divorce. Just check the dailies: child abuse, incest, rape and wife battering are on the rise. Immoral activities among youth--drug addiction, murder, teenage pregnancy and social ills brought about by the cyber age--are rising at an alarming rate. Could the proliferation of such destructive activities be attributed to the disintegrating family unit? Who bears the most pain in the meltdown of the family? Of course, the children.
Again, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, in her article "Dan Quayle Was Right" said this about the anguish children face when a family breaks-up:
"All this uncertainty [in a single-parent home] can be devastating to children. Anyone who knows children knows that they are deeply conservative creatures. They like things to stay the same. So pronounced is this tendency that certain children have been known to request the same peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for lunch for years on end. Children are particularly set in their ways when it comes to family, friends, neighborhoods, and schools. Yet when a family breaks up, all these things may change.... No one feels this more acutely than the children."
"Each divorce is the death of a small civilization. -- Pat Conroy, Novelist
Recently, the U.S. Census Bureau released its survey establishing the population trends and living patterns during the 10-year period ending in the year 2001. Although the result was quite alarming, many continue to ignore the warning signs. The report confirmed that the institution of the family has continued the downward spiral that began in the early '70s. Just look at the headlines today:

"Nuclear Family Fading," The Gazette, 15 May 2001, p. A1
"Nuclear Family in Meltdown," The Boston Herald, 23 May 2001 in a column written by Don Feder.
Allan Carlson of the Howard Center for the Family said, "We are moving toward a post-family society."
"This God-ordained institution, which has prevailed in almost every culture on earth since the Garden of Eden, is unraveling right in front of our eyes." David Popenoe, "Life Without Father," (Cambridge MA: Harvard University Press, 1999) Chapter 6.
Barbara Kantrowitz and Pat Wingert, "Unmarried, with Children," Newsweek, 28 May 2001, p. 46. Households headed by unmarried partners grew by almost 72 percent during the past decade, most of them involving people living together out of wedlock. And those led by single fathers grew by almost 62 percent.
"For the First Time, Nuclear Families Drop Below 25 Percent of Households," Eric Schmitt, The New York Times, 15 May 2001, p. A1.
A third of all babies were born to unmarried women, (33 percent) compared to only 3.8 percent in 1940. "Unmarried, with Children," p. 46, op.cit.
"More Women Are Raising Children On Their Own," Ashley Estes, The Salt Lake Tribune, 18 May 2001, p. A6.
"Breakdown on Family Breakdown," The Washington Times, 25 March 2001, p. B2.

Warning signs are posted everywhere and it's up to us parents to see and respond to them so we may guide and forewarn our children of the bumpy road ahead. Then again, we must learn how to look in the mirror and honestly ask ourselves if we are guiding our children accordingly. Are we a guilty party? We live in a society negative towards families in many ways and there is no escaping its harm. Awareness and direct participation in the development of our children may be the best antidote we could provide. We must be sincere about our objectives and invest quality time with our family. By reacting consciously to every deviation, we can prevent its damaging effect before it escalates to the point of destruction. A firm commitment must be in our agenda to lead our family according to the values we so cherish otherwise, disaster awaits those who ignore these signs: Diminishing Time, Having it All, The Pit Stop, and So Near Yet So Far.

Catalogue Information