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One Gorilla's Rebellion

by Joseph P Shuman

119 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-0401; ISBN 1-4120-0038-6; US$14.95, C$22.13, EUR14.40, £10.00

One Gorilla's Rebellion is the first book to offer help to main consumers of management, the employee. The newest book about management. A book written for employees.

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about the book      about the author      excerpts      catalogue info

About the Book ONE GORILLA'S REBELLION by Joseph P. Shuman is a satirical and cynical look at contemporary management. The author, describing himself as "just plain captious," takes you on a captivating romp through the dark side of employment. At the center is an old, tired joke about managers with a serious twist. Four friends unexpectedly reunite with the author. They express regret at failing an old teacher after his funeral. Seeing self-disappointment, the author tells the 25-year old gorilla story. The fable analogizes workers to confined animals, a popular theme in contemporary management books. An ill-conceived experiment leaves the gorillas abandoned. The janitor arranging their rescue makes a pointed and humorous observation about managers. The friends readily relate themselves to gorillas in the story. They then question the author's "gorilladom." This provides the author an opportunity to discuss experiences with good and bad management. Shuman says, "Employees, as customers of management, needed a voice for their rebellion against an unstoppable tide of management 'how-to' books. I am that voice, simply because I am not a gorilla!" He is a US Navy veteran with over 25 years of experience as a technician, supervisor, manager, and consultant in Nuclear and Hazardous Materials Safety.

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About the Author For 25 years, Joe Shuman has successfully tolerated dismanagement. Fortunately, all good things must end. No longer tolerant, he finally decided to say something. He ended up saying too much. Then he wrote it all down. He joined the US Navy at 17 for six years. His subsequent professional career has been in the areas of Radiation Safety and Hazardous Materials Management. He ran the spectrum of employment, from an entry-level technician to supervisor, program manager, and senior site manager. He currently dissipates his professional time as a consultant in Nuclear Safety. He writes in order to maintain his sanity. He has a lot of time on his hands since developing an incurable case of insomnia over the past few years. Shu admits, borrowing the immortal words of Warren Zevon, "I'll sleep when I'm dead." He is very successfully married, for the one and only time, and is the daddy of three boys. The leader of the rugrat-pack is a four-year who guards and protects "his babies," eighteen-month old identical twins. Now, can we appreciate the insomnia thing?

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Excerpts

from The Reunion, Chapter One

    George is a high-school graduate and "that's enough school, thank you very much." George didn't want or need any more education, formal or otherwise. Whatever he needed to learn, he learned without depending on someone else or handing them money to teach him.

    His career has been "rough and tiring." His talents have been discovered everywhere he works, and he has, in general, been promoted and advanced because of his abilities. Eventually, and tragically, George has always ended up working for someone who continually butts heads with him until he gets fed up and leaves, only to land on his feet again. And get advanced. And get fed up.

    George is the most brilliant person I know. He is also the most stubborn, and with good reason. In all the years I have know him, he has never been wrong. He knows his problem as an employee stems from bosses who are scared of being less capable than George, who consider him a threat to their careers. The sad truth is that they are probably right. However, George keeps putting himself back in the same situation.

    George, being last and obviously frustrated by what he'd heard from the other three, needed nothing more than a moment's silence to begin his lamentation. "It's nothing but a friggin' fight that never ends. Us versus them. Never changes, never will.

    "No one wins. The bastards wear you down and get a basket full of crap work from a crap worker. The ones with attitude, good attitude, are forced out the door.

    "But not me, I'm a fighter. I'll stick it out to the bitter end, and the end always tastes bad, for every idiot out there. Eventually I'm shown to be right, but it don't friggin' matter. The asshole patrol, the managers, call it a change in priority and start from scratch, when I've already done the work for 'em! I sit back and laugh, but there's not really any satisfaction in that. It's pitiful, just damn pitiful, that's what it is.

    "Bottom line, I know it's a sewage pit everywhere, so why go anywhere else? Same old cat shit, different sandbox, is what I say. You got to fight the fight, day after day."

    I finished up writing the last note I needed in my PDA. George muttered acidly, "Second thing to go is the mind, first you already forgot, didn't you? Must be awful lonely on your planet!"

    Did I mention that George is also a very colorful character? In any case, all four of my friends are capable of breaking through the barriers that employment burdens them with, yet none of them have. They have become mired in the system, even though their lamentations indicate they want it to be otherwise. They have been mismanaged and not mentored since high school.

from What Kind of Gorilla Are You?, Chapter Three

    After a few moments of silent reflection, I began. "Casey, what kind of gorilla are you?"

    He looked up abruptly, shocked at first, and then said rather quietly, "I guess I'm the first one who runs to safety, yeah? I mean, I don't like conflict? Yeah, I'm the first one out."

    I handed him a banana. "Thanks, I guess. . ." he offered.

    "Kate, your turn."

    "I'll watch the fight, maybe even get involved at first. But I won't go much further when the conflict is evident. Eventually I'll figure out where the safe spot is and go there. I'm the second gorilla in your story."

    "Very good, have a banana!"

    She took it without ceremony, almost embarrassed, and dropped it on her plate.

    "George?"

    "Up yours, you asswipe!" George's venom is sufficient, at times, to make your cranial ganglia spasm. He and Oleo have a lot in common. "You know who I am, I'm up there alone at the end still trying to buck the system."

    "Right. Paul, how about you?"

    "WHERE'S MY DAMN BANANA?"

    George is brilliant, and also very predictable. This is exactly the reaction I wanted. "Sorry, George," I said, and tossed the banana. He smugly caught it as if it were a prize jewel. "Paul, you were going to say?"

    "I don't really know where I belong in the first group," he said, "but I definitely would be the first one to tell the new kid what's good for him."

    "Exactly!" I said, handing him the fourth banana.

    "What about you? Where are you in the story?" Once again, George chimed in as if we had rehearsed.

    "I used to be the same as you, George." I surveyed the group, and the looks of mild confusion indicated they were on the intended path.

from One Gorilla Who Got Away!, Chapter Five,

    "Yup. I take care of them, make sure they understand what I want, and praise and punish as necessary. If you don't work out then it's out the door, and if you do then I make sure you're rewarded for your efforts. It's a lot of work, but getting to where I have a stable staff, solid customer base and a predictable profit are well worth the time."

    "I'm confused." It was Kate again. "When I asked you a while back if you liked your job, you said it paid the bills and fed the kids. Now you're the owner? Why didn't you say anything before?"

    "Honey, first time you asked if I liked working here. My answer was honest, it is a job, it does pay the bills, it certainly feeds the kids. This time you asked about my boss, a completely different question. Your friends didn't let my answer lie around like a wet dog on a cold day this time, you asked for more so I gave you more. My first answer was pretty much a canned response to customers I don't know that well. After you asked, I did a little eavesdropping. You are all pretty deep into what's going on in your lives and your jobs, so I decided to open up. Besides, the monkey story was cute."

    "Sorry, but you mean gorilla story. Monkeys have tails, apes don't, gorillas are apes." Sometimes, George doesn't know when to shut it up.

    The reply was swift and lethal. "Excuse me, Mr. Wild Kingdom of the Animal Planet. Don't see a tail above your butt, so should I call you ape boy? Or Mr. Big Mouth? In case you didn't notice, I was talking to the young lady!"

    George steamed as both Paul and Casey snorted. Kate and the server-now-owner Anne exchanged a knowing glance, and I decided it was time to move on.

    "You sound like a reasonable manager; one who's fair, consistent and involved. You are a rare individual, in my experience."

    "You bet," she stated confidently, "unique and priceless!"

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Catalogue Information

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