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A Father's Guide to Raising Daughters: Because I Need One!

by Will Kenlaw

83 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-0497; ISBN 1-4120-0129-3; US$15.00, C$19.00, EUR13.00, £9.00

Insightful, no-nonsense tips for fathers raising daughters and mothers wanting a father's perspective. A great gift!

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about the book      about the author      table of contents and sample excerpts      catalogue info

About the Book The book is targeted at fathers and single mothers who want a male's perspective on raising daughters. The book is written for an adult male, i.e. it has short chapters, one to three pages, for quick reading (and short attention spans). It has 30 chapters and a key "take away message" highlighted in each chapter. It is organized both chronologically and by topic. "I use actual dialogue I've had with my daughters to keep it light and fun to read." says the author. "While writing down the information in this book, it became apparent that other fathers could probably benefit from this same information. When my wife read the book, she commented that single mothers would probably buy it to get a 'man's perspective' on raising daughters. With these 2 additional objectives in mind, I am publishing and promoting the book." If you have a daughter(s) or know someone with a daughter(s), then this book is a wonderful gift idea. It's a new book written "from the heart and from the hip" by the father of four daughters. The author shares his lessons learned, real-time experiences, and recent wisdom on the subject of "Raising Daughters." The book is entitled, A Father's Guide To Raising Daughters: Because I Need One. The book has 30 tips for raising daughters and is written in a no-nonsense, net, to-the-point manner. Each chapter is one to three pages long. It's a quick read with 83 pages. Those with short attention spans will love it! It also provides mothers (especially single moms) with a male perspective on "Raising Daughters." It will alarm, arm, and amuse readers. It makes a great gift for Father's Day, birthdays, and Christmas. It's a low cost, high impact gift idea! Order NOW!

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About the Author I am the father of four daughters ages 14, 7, 4, and 2. With a seven year gap between my first and second daughters, it suddenly dawned on me that I needed to repeat the experiences, teaching moments, and information transfer three more times. Fearing that "middle-aged moments" would rob me of this ability, I decided to write it all down. My chief qualification for writing the book is that I'm "living it." I plan to write a series of books on this topic. Other qualifications include a master's degree in theological studies, a master's in business administration, and a bachelor's degree in engineering. I am an ordained minister in my Church, where I led the Sunday School for ten years and now lead the Healing Prayer Ministry and the Evangelism Ministry.

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Table of Contents and Sample Excerpts

1. Unconditional Love: Tell her you love her
2. Pray Over Her Every Night
3. Money $$$
4. Boys: They are Hunters, Don't Become Prey
5. Sex: It's a Gift from God
6. Love: It's a Behavior NOT a Feeling
7. Her first date should be with YOU
8. Courage: It Comes from the Heart
9. Perseverance & Persistence
10. Pressure: Rise to the Challenge
11. Discipline with Love
12. Bond with her Early
13. Beauty
14. Her Menstrual Cycle
15. "Hoochie Mama" Clothes
16. Politics
17. Ask her how she "feels" and what she "thinks"
18. Life's NOT Fair
19. Give her inheritance early and often
20. Prenatal to 18 Months: Spoil Her
21. Prenatal to 8 Years old: Read to Her
22. 18 Months to 4 Years: Give Her 'Her Up'
23. Ages 4 years to 6 years: Tuck Her In
24. Ages 6 to 8: Teach her to Ride a Bike
25. Ages 8 to 10: Roller-skate, Bowl, & Basketball
26. Ages 10 to 12: Teach her to play Tennis
27. Ages 12 to 14: Teach her to Golf
28. Ages 15 to 18: More "coaching than teaching"
29. Ages 19+: Let Her Go! (Yeah Right:-)
30. Conclusions & Reflections
Appendix A: 40 Ways Fathers Can Make A Difference
Appendix B: Top Pet Peeves Between Fathers & Daughters
Appendix C: Recommended Resources

CHAPTER 1: Tell her you love her every day

Nothing else in this book is more important. You can do everything else in this book and fail, if she doesn't know unequivocally and unconditionally that you love her. I say I love you to my daughters each day when I drop them off to school and each night after I tuck them into bed.

I credit my wife with instilling this habit in me. During our third year of marriage we had a long discussion about "PDAs," public displays of affection. She wanted to hear "I love you" more often than I wanted to say it. Her most convincing argument was, "what happens if when we separate during the day, one of us dies, and that was the last opportunity to say "I love you," and it wasn't said for fear of embarrassment.

"How would you feel? Would you say it if given a second chance? Then say it on every first chance!"

I couldn't defeat that argument and thank God I couldn't. It has made our relationship stronger and more loving. My wife used the same argument for kissing each time we separate during the day, and when we come back together. As our daughters have grown, they picked up on it right away. They expect a kiss from daddy whenever I leave them during the day, and to hear the words, "I love you." They will follow me to the door if I forget, and the little ones will sometimes cry if I go outside the house before kissing them.

CHAPTER 3: Teach her about money: "It doesn't come from ATMs."

Teach her that money is a tool. It must be understood and managed. It must be mastered or it will master her. Teach her about giving, especially tithes and offerings, to her place of worship. Teach her that it is more blessed to give than to receive, and that the good she does for others will return to her.

Also teach her about savings and investing. My second daughter, Rachel (7), doesn't understand the big deal about money. She says, "Just go to the ATM and get some more." The funny thing is, my father made the money, but my mother taught me about money. She took me to the bank to open a savings account. She took me to the telephone company and showed me how to pay bills. She showed me what a checkbook was and how to use it. Explain budgets, spending, short-term savings, and long-term savings to your daughter.

Our girls receive a weekly allowance when they become 6 years old. It's a dollar. From that dollar, they give 10 cents to God as a tithe. They give 10 cents as an offering. They must save at least 30 cents in "long-term" savings (until Christmas, for a large purchase, or indefinitely). They can spend 50 cents whatever way they desire. The allowance increases one dollar per year. Our fourteen year old receives a nine-dollar allowance.

The allowance is designed to teach them about money: how to earn it, save it, spend it, and give it. The allowance is tied to weekly chores. If the chores are "intentionally" not performed, then no allowance is given. No work, no pay. The allowance also teaches the child to count money: the different coins, the different dollar denominations, dividing money into different categories (tithes & offerings for Church, savings, spending money).

Our girls know that we have a budget. As a matter of fact, when they want something that's not in the budget, the request usually ends in a chorus of, "We know! We know! It's NOT in the budget!!!"

Chapter 6: Teach her about love: "Love is a 'behavior' not a feeling."

"Love" is a behavior exhibited, demonstrated, and lived, by the one in love towards the one loved. Love "commits" because it desires to, wants to, is motivated to. Note that the discussion about sex comes before the teaching on love. This is significant. This is the order in which a man thinks about the two topics, whereas, it is the reverse for women. Your daughter needs to know this.

Girls and women seek a "relationship" for love. Men, at least initially, seek a relationship for the sex. In a good relationship, women will grow to desire the sex. In a good relationship, men will grow to desire love. It's a fascinating dichotomy. These are, of course, generalizations and speak to the average man or woman. Each person and each relationship is unique and different. However, understanding the differences that drive men and women, is important for our daughters to grasp BEFORE they begin dating.

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Catalogue Information

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