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A Legacy Worth Leaving: Savoring the Past, Inspiring the Future

by Everett Marwood

199 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-0660; ISBN 1-4120-0291-5; US$18.95, C$25.99, EUR16.90, £11.80

How will you be remembered? Are you imparting a message of hope or despair? Are you teaching self-confidence or defeatism, passion or apathy? Are you leaving the legacy of your choosing?

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about the book      about the author      sample excerpt      catalogue info

About the Book How will you be remembered? Legacy is the transference of things from the past. Though often thought of as a gift of property, it has the potential to be so much more. Legacy is a gift of learning and a gift of attitudes. It reflects our ideals and our convictions. It is consigned through the things we so and the choices we make. We will each pass on a legacy more profound than we can imagine. We have the opportunity to empower current and future generations to set and manage the direction of their lives, according to their aspirations. We can pass on the ability to be productive, the desire to boldly face whatever challenges life may bring. Or we can surrender to misery and assign scarcity to those who follow. We can inspire an appreciation for passion in life by guiding and encouraging younger generations towards an intensity in their vocations, their adventures and their relationships with others. Or we can dishearten then through reproach and condemnation. How will you be remembered? Are you imparting a message of hope or despair? Will you be remembered because you encouraged or because you disparaged? Are you teaching self-confidence or defeatism, passion or apathy? Are you leaving the legacy of your choosing?

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About the Author Everett Marwood facilitates workshops for families interested in building an awareness of the importance of legacy. Two and sometimes three generations share their lives, talking and learning from each other of their heritage and their potential together. These dialogues are a refreshing interlude in a world often discouraging of this fellowship. In this book, Mr. Marwood provokes readers, using a realistic yet powerful writing style, to consider the nature of the legacy they will leave their offspring and future generations. He writes to entertain.

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Sample Excerpt

When I walked in, they were chattering with each other, and with their mother. I was glad to be home and relaxed quickly.

I cornered Jacquie and quizzed her about what she had been doing the last few days. I think my daughter sensed that a proper and complete answer to this question may lead to a place she cared not to go--at the moment, at least.

"Not much," she said.

This simple and uninformative response was not unexpected. We had been down this road before. She wasn't rude about it. She just made it clear that at the moment, she did not care for a serious discussion.

I wanted to tell her that she was exceptionally talented, that should she choose to, she could beautify the world: it was within her power to do so. I wanted to tell her that if she was going to be a painter, that she should strive to be a Rembrandt, that if she wanted to be a pianist, Chopin should be her idol. I wanted to tell her that if her aspirations were to be a mother, she could be the very best. I wanted to tell her that I believed in her. Instead, I kept reminding myself that it was her future, not mine.

"Do you have any special projects on the go?"

Instead of being attentive to any response, I was thinking about how she would be completing school in a couple of years. She would be making the decisions that I had made many years ago. I didn't want her believing that there was something that was not possible. At her age, I had dismissed so many options because I believed them to be unattainable. I wanted to leave her with these thoughts, but I didn't expect that she would be receptive.

"Not right now," she replied. "I just finished one last week."

I wanted to ask her if I could share with her my ideas, my observations. I felt that the young women of today had even more dilemmas, in a way, than their brothers, and definitely more than their mothers had twenty, twenty-five years ago. They had more career options, more lifestyle choices, more freedoms, and far more opportunities than their mothers and grandmothers. Social movements and special interest groups over the years had told them that they could do it all and have it all. They could have careers and families and they could do it all on their own, or with anyone they choose. Personally I thought doing it all might be a much bigger challenge than proponents cared to admit, but I still wanted to believe in the possibilities. I knew that the expectations for the women of our generation were not nearly as daunting. I wanted her to know that.

Instead I asked, "Are you dating anyone these days?"

I was wanting to tell her that it's no picnic for the boys either. They don't seem to be so certain of their roles anymore. Society expects much more of them than it did of their fathers. They are still expected to be good providers, partners and dads. Yet they have been told to be more gentle and sensitive to the needs of the women, help with the dishes and laundry plus tend to the cars and repairs, the chores that had always been the domain of the men. Their maleness had been challenged. Perhaps the occasional shirking of duties was their way of throwing up their arms in despair.

"No, Dad, I'm not," she answered, with irritation in her voice. She nervously fumbled with a magazine.

Maybe I was just old-fashioned myself, not changing with the times. Many of us old-times were not sure this kinder-gentler approach fit with the male psyche. These boys needed a little manness in their lives, and they weren't getting it from shattered and abandoned families. The fathers that were walking away-- and the mothers that thought they could do it on their own--were not doing the boys any favours. That was my opinion. These were not my traditions.

I continued with my klutzy questions. "What do you think you might do after graduation?"

I didn't think my mother and father's generation had any of these issues. They had more limited career choices. Their family and society roles were well defined. They got married, found work, had a family and stayed together ' till death do us part. Mothers stayed home and cared for the children. I suppose there were times when this was not a perfect situation, but definitely simpler, more defined.

"That's two years away Dad!" she said with a tone of disgust, and with that she snuck back into the kitchen, taking refuge with her mother and brother.

It had been different again for Sue and I. We knew how our parents had lived, but we and our peers thought things needed to be modified to the times. Women deserved an education and career options just like men. But our heritage dictated that women were not to be denied their choice to have and enjoy their children. Career options were good, but not at the expense of motherhood. Some were not comfortable with these trends, but were nevertheless expected to embrace the notions. They were, after all, so vogue.

Today society had more novel ideas as to how these children of mine should live their lives. They themselves had different ideas. I just hoped it would work out well for them. They didn't have a map-- no one ever had a map to tell them exactly where their ideas were going to lead. For each new generation, it was uncharted territory. They were the explorers of the day. I found myself thinking that if I were their age, I'd be pretty excited. The newness of it all! I couldn't imagine!

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Catalogue Information

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