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Seven Times Down, Eight Times Up: Landing On Your Feet In An Upside Down World

by Dr. Alan Gettis

195 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-0883; ISBN 1-4120-0514-0; US$20.00, C$22.58, EUR16.50, £11.50

The book instructs, inspires, and points the way with regard to living a psychologically healthy and spiritually fulfilled life. It contains about one hundred short stories. Read one of two before going to sleep and click off the light feeling more hopeful and more peace of mind.

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About the Book      About the Author      Sample Excerpts      Catalogue Info

About the Book "This book isn't just soup, it's the whole chicken! It's hard to pin down the magic of this book or anticipate the profound effect it will have on your life. Dr. Gettis is a raconteur, psychologist, philosopher, and guy-next-door, who has distilled the complexities of human nature and compiled them into a series of witty, pithy, and more often than not, hilarious vignettes. But don't let the light-hearted approach of this book fool you. The profound insights will sneak up on you and change forever the way you look at your life. It did me. I congratulate Dr. Gettis for this absolutely brilliant contribution to the self-help market." - Dr. Joseph J. Luciani, Ph.D., author of the best-selling book "Self-Coaching: How to Heal Anxiety and Depression" "This book contains numerous nuggets of wisdom. Dr. Gettis captures the essence of what it takes to live a happy, spiritually fulfilled life. Anyone who follows the advice given so gently here will be much more at peace. If enough people read this book, the world will be greatly benefited. Read this book!" - Dr. Sam Menahem, acclaimed author of both "When Therapy Isn't Enough" and "All Your Prayers Are Answered" Seven Times Down, Eight Times Up: Landing On Your Feet In An Upside Down World is written from the vantage point of Western psychology's cognitive behavioral therapy meeting Eastern philosophy's Zen teachings. It is a practical, down to earth, useful, humorous, and important book. Dr. Gettis offers profound insights in a straight forward fashion, never making things overly complicated. The result for the reader is a new way of looking at and experiencing the world, which equates to less anxiety and depression and increased peace of mind. There are about one hundred brief stories that always encourage the reader to believe in herself, wake up, and live each day fully.

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About the Author Dr. Alan Gettis, Ph.D., M.S., was a Vietnam era army psychologist in the late 1960's. In the 1970's, he was Chief Psychologist for a comprehensive mental health center. Since 1976, he has been a private practice psychologist specializing in individual psychotherapy for adults. Dr. Gettis is also steeped in Eastern philosophy in general and Zen Buddhism in particular. He is an award winning haiku poet and a former vice president of the Haiku Society of America. He has run many marathons (26.2 milers) including Boston, New York, and Alaska. He lives in Norwood, New Jersey and West Yarmouth, Massachusetts with his wife Nan, and their twins, David and Jenna.

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Sample Excerpts

Introduction

There is a proverb in Japan that states "Nanakorobi Yaoki".

• Nana = Seven
• Korubi = Fall Down
• Ya = Eight
• Oki = Stand Up

The proverb translates to, "Seven times down, eight times up". It derives its origins from okiagari dolls, paper-mache toys than when knocked down, always return to an upright position. The dolls have no arms or legs and are also known as Daruma dolls.

Daruma (also known as Bodhidharma) was the first patriarch of Zen. He traveled from India to China in the sixth century. Legend has it that he sat in a cave meditating for nine years without moving, in order to obtain enlightenment. In the process, his legs withered to nothing and his hands shriveled away from lack of use. But he remained steadfast and seemed to get healthier with the passing years. Folklore suggests he finally died after vitally living eight hundred thirteen years.

The armless, legless Daruma dolls are weighted so they always pop up after being pushed down. They represent the resiliency and perseverance of Daruma. They stand for success after misfortune. Daruma dolls inspire you to rise no matter how many times you stumble or fall down. "Nana" in Japanese has a double meaning. It means "seven" but is also used to denote "many".

So, "Nanakorobi Yaoki", or "Seven times down, eight times up", is a call to never give up. It is a celebration of your spirit, determination, and ability to not only land on your feet, but to also evolve, enjoy, and thrive.

Even Monkeys Fall Out of Trees

A Japanese proverb has it that "even monkeys fall out of trees." Just yesterday, I locked myself out of my car. Although I'd categorize myself as fairly intelligent, it seems that every contestant on Jeopardy knows more answers than I do. When I lectured to college students and deemed myself rather fascinating, I couldn't help but notice that some students were falling asleep. Despite being a decent athlete, I'm almost always one of the most rigid, awkward skiers on the slopes. And I forgot to mention that my nose is rather large.

When I have "one of those days" or incidents when it becomes obvious to me (and maybe to others) that I'm not the coolest, suavest, smartest, or nicest human being on the planet, I still try to remember that I'm O.K. I give myself the benefit of the doubt, and if there's anything to be learned from the experience, I'll try to digest the lesson. One definition of intelligence is that it is the ability to profit from experience.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. In fact, striving to become more like the person you would like to be is healthy and validates the notion that you are not a static entity and that you are capable of making changes. Just don't judge yourself too harshly while you're trying to bring about those changes. The best figure skaters in the world still fall on their behinds. Rocket scientists' formulas are sometimes way off the mark. Most of us don't resemble models, and despite what Andy Warhol stated, most of us don't even get our fifteen minutes of fame.

The best major league baseball players who make many millions of dollars each year have batting averages of about .300. This means that they do not get hits 7 of every 10 times they come up to bat. Another way of looking at this is that they fail to achieve their goal 70% of the time. And these are the best players in the world. Yes, even monkeys fall out of trees.

Where There's a Will There's a Way

When my friend Carl was in high school, he set a goal for himself. He wanted to be a "Harvard Man". This was his dream. People who knew him thought it was more of a pipe dream, not considering Carl to be Harvard material, so to speak. He applied to a handful of colleges and although four accepted him, he was flatly rejected by Harvard. That however was not the end of his dream.

In college, Carl did well both academically and athletically. In fact, he developed into a nationally competitive sprinter for the track team. After a brilliant junior year, he applied to Harvard as a transfer student, this time believing that he had a great chance of being accepted. He didn't get in. Carl turned his focus toward graduate school and his dream of being a Harvard man continued. Harvard wasn't very concerned about his dream and rejected Carl for the third time. The dream seemingly had become not quite a nightmare, but something quite different than Carl originally had hoped for.

After college, job success, marriage, and a child, Carl found himself once again thinking of Harvard. Then it came to him like a bolt of lightening. Indeed, he would be a Harvard Man. He would donate his body to the Harvard Medical School. He sent a detailed letter explaining his almost life long interest in being a Harvard Man and how proud he would be to give his body to them. Then while visiting a friend in the Boston area, he spent time walking on the Harvard campus talking to students and purchasing various Harvard paraphernalia. He even managed to sit in on a class and talk to the professor afterward. Nirvana.

About two weeks later the letter from Harvard Medical School arrived. It stated, "Please try a local medical school". Maybe it was destiny. Maybe Carl was just not supposed to be a Harvard Man. That final rejection took place about ten years ago. I'm happy to say that life went on for Carl. He's had an active fulfilling decade since his final rejection and is certainly not preoccupied with never having been accepted to Harvard.

So perhaps you really can find happiness despite important things not working out exactly as you hoped they would. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that Carl confided in me that in his will, he has asked his wife to cremate him and spread his ashes all over the great lawn at Harvard.

Taking Out the Garbage

Twice a week or so I take out the garbage. Usually, it's in plastic bags or sometimes paper bags that I've brought home from the supermarket. I put them in garbage cans and secure the lids with bungee straps to keep the raccoons and the deer from making a mess. This is a ritual I've engaged in for years.

I'm not sure how Webster defines garbage, but I consider it things that are no longer useful. Scraps, remnants, broken items, rotting objects in various stages of decomposition and the like. Things that have worn out, that no longer serve any useful purpose, and which take up space and demand our attention. Once, these items may have played some role of significance in my life, but now they are garbage and need to be gotten rid of. It's time.

It strikes me that all of us accumulate what could be termed emotional garbage. Residue from all sorts of past experiences and relationships. Traumas, rejections, abusive interactions, critical teachers or parents, betrayals, embarrassing encounters, feelings of shame or guilt or inadequacy, and other childhood and adolescent fears and feelings that still haunt or taunt us. I think that at least twice a week, it's a good idea to take out the emotional garbage.

For example, every Monday and Thursday, vividly imagine yourself filling a garbage bag with all your thoughts, experiences, and feelings that are no longer useful to have in your mind/body. Get rid of everything that doesn't work for you, that weighs you down, and that is rotting within you. Put it all in the bag and take it out and dump it in the garbage can. Secure the lid on the can. You may not have given it a lot of thought before this, but taking out the garbage is a very important thing to do.

Yadda Yadda Yadda

Do you make New Year's resolutions? Most surveys find that typically, those well-meaning resolutions are broken within hours or days. I have a brother who quit smoking New Year's Day for 25 consecutive years. There are a lot of people who don't make resolutions because they realize the vast majority of them don't come to fruition. Not a very optimistic outlook. I'm not sure if I have a preference between making resolutions and not keeping them, or not making them at all.

I do know that good intentions aren't enough in and of themselves. It's very easy to talk a good game, but words don't necessarily reflect reality. How many husbands, wives, or lovers have assured their partners how much they love them while their actions belie their words?

It's not unusual for there to be a marked discrepancy between what a person says and what a person does. Put your faith in the actions, not the words. The truth is more likely reflected in behaviors than in verbalizations. That's why I'll continually assess my actions. That's the proof of the pudding (I have no idea where that expression came from).

I won't make resolutions, but I'll tell myself to do specific things. It's not enough to generally resolve, "I'm going to be nicer to my wife". Instead, I'll do at least two things each day that demonstrate this. For example, I'll (a) call her at work just to say I'm thinking about her and miss her, and (b) give her a foot massage tonight. Instead of saying "I'm going to get in better shape this year," do at least two things each day to demonstrate this. You can (a) walk each morning for a half hour, and (b) use light dumbbells during every television commercial.

Rather than pay the general lip service to losing weight as a resolution, just do at least two things daily demonstrating this such as (a) eating fruits and vegetables, and (b) eating baked potatoes topped with seasonings rather than indulging that desire for french fries. You get the idea. Watch the behaviors to get at what's really going on with you or with anybody else. There's no truth except in action.

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Catalogue Information

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