Trafford Publishing: Counseling is Like...The Use of Analogies in Counseling

Here is the full reference card for this book...

If you'd rather place an order by talking to one of our cheerful order desk clerks, please call 1-888-232-4444 (USA and Canada only) or 250-383-6864. From Europe, ring our UK order desk clerk at local rate number 0845 230 9601 (UK only) or 44 (0)1865 722 113.

Counseling is Like...The Use of Analogies in Counseling

by Margaret Ross

147 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-0895; ISBN 1-4120-0526-4; US$17.00, C$19.00, EUR14.00, £10.00

Improve counseling techniques and communication with students through the use of storytelling. An educational guidebook for counselors, teachers and anyone in helping professions.

Read more!

about the book about the author excerpts catalogue info

About the Book

Counseling is Like...The Use of Analogies in Counseling explores a way of working with students who might be resistant to the concept of counseling. Through the use of analogies, students seem to be leess resistant to the process. Analogies also help us to better understand the point of reference for the student.
The use of analogies is not a new experience for most people. If you listen to everyday speech, you will find most people using analogies to describe a situation, how they feel, or what they want to do.
Analogies are a way of talking about experiences. We each experience life uniquely, so it is not possible to communicate identical interpretations of our experiences. Analogies help define our experiences to others by creating colored pictures. Like a collage, layers of meaning are built from expansion of the analogy in exploration of its likeness and dissimilarities to the experience being described.
In working with students many resistances are bypassed when you tell a story. Analogies develop a kind of story, a word-picture. The counselor can make contact with the student, a primary goal of counseling, through these creative encounters. As you are developing an analogy together, the counseling process unfolds in a way that is less threatening to the student.
Included in the book are some guidelines on when and how to use analogies. There is also an example of how to construct an analogy with a student.
Counseling is Like... presents analogies in six major categories: the art of counseling, counselor growth, student growth, habits and good mental health relationships and endings.

READER REVIEWS
Counseling is Like. . . The use of analogies in counseling by Margaret Ross, Ph.D. is a practical and creative guide for shaping the counseling process. Dr. Ross marvelously provides a wide array of analogies that can be used in the counselor-student exchange. She provides an analogy that can guide many scenarios that a counselor can expect to encounter. For example, Dr. Ross provides analogies that can used for student issues of self-esteem; learning how to make decisions and solving one's problems; helping students to take responsibility for their future in spite of past experiences; students in a state of panic; students seeking a sense of belonging; addressing poor academic work; developing healthy habits; managing relationships; and allowing students to grow at their own pace.
Dr. Ross approaches counseling from a student (client) centered perspective. She uses analogies to ensure the counseling process is not centered on the counselor. Dr. Ross stresses that the counseling process is two-way and that analogies evolve through collaborative creativity between counselor and student. She describes how problems may be common but the personal contexts of these common problems can be quite different and thus require very different intervention strategies. In the process, both the student and counselor grow from their exchanges.
As Dr. Ross points out, each of us hold very different frames of reference that influence how we view events and situations. Counselors need to learn as best they can about the frames of reference of the students who seek counseling and concomitantly be in touch with their own frame of reference. Dr. Ross stresses that it is essential for counselors to be aware of the impact of their opinions of themselves in various situations and other life issues that may influence the counseling interactions. She emphasizes the focus be on students since it is the studentís needs that are to be met.
Dr. Ross provides a no-nonsense, straight forward, informative, and readable resource for dealing with a variety of single and multi-dimensional issues with students. While this resource is intended for counselors, it can serve as a valuable reference for all persons who have frequent interactions with students, including faculty, staff, and administrators. Although others do not assume the same roles as counselors, they do offer counsel and are confronted with student problems/issues that may directly or indirectly influence their interactions with students. And rightly, Dr. Ross reminds us in several ways of how our life perspective can influence our interactions with students.
I highly recommend this jewel of analogies.

-Beverly J. Schmoll, Ph. D.
Dean, Eugene Applebaum Center
Pharmacy and Health Services
Wayne State University, Detroit
This book is a must for any counseling program, for new counselors starting a practice and for seasoned counselors. Counseling is Like discusses and demonstrates the use of analogies in counseling not only as a counseling technique but offers a fresh, insight into counseling. The way the book is written helps the reader understand analogies because the author uses analogies through out the book to give us an in-depth understanding of the counseling relationship and process. We are able to understand the counseling process as related to ordinary, everyday occurrences and some extraordinary experiences. Analogies are an interesting and fascinating way to view counseling. We get a new sense of the dynamic relationship that takes place between counselor and client when described by analogies because analogies connect us to life experiences and each other.
Any counseling program needs to have this book as part of their program. Students can broaden their view of counseling through the use of analogies because it expands their concept of counseling. New counselors will benefit from Counseling is Like because it gives them a unique technique to use with their clients that enhances the counselor-client relationship by providing a method of revealing oneself that is safe and can even be fun. This is particularly important with male clients because for many males it is difficult to access their feelings easily. Analogies allow them to self-disclose in a safe way by giving them a tool to use that is sensible and relates directly to their personal day to day experiences. Seasoned counselors will benefit from this book because it offers a refreshing, new method a counselor can use not only with ongoing clients but with resistant clients and new clients as well. Counseling is Like is also a fun easy read about a complex, often serious subject that sheds new light on the counseling relationship and process.

-Frances Brandt, School Counselor, Ashland Oregon.
I have your book and find it to be very interesting. I used to enjoy using sports metaphors in my coaching to help my players realize how so of what can be learned from sport carries over to life. I think I could use those analogies in counseling to help students better describe their experiences and feelings and ultimately have a greater feeling of connectedness. I find my students really do start to open up when feel like I understand what they are going through So I definitely would like to practice the use of analogies in my counseling. I believe your book will be both guide and inspiration. I also hope to share your book with my colleagues.

-Martha Benton, High School Counselor, N.H.
Counseling is like...The Use of Analogies in Counseling is a delightful resource for counselor educators. In her book, Dr. Ross has collected an array of analogies that can be used to describe the subtle intricacies of counseling in simple, yet powerful, images. Students, instructors, and clientsalikewill benefit from these pearls of wisdom. The use of metaphor provides a touchstoneto keep the counseling process in perspective. The analogies in this bookare positive and creative images thatprovide useful guidelines for counselors on many levels.

-Dr. Laurie Williamson
Appalachian State University
Counseling is Like ... establishes and promotes the importance of developing a strong comunication with the client, which leads to a more productive relationship.

-Jane Crumrine, counselor, Warren High School, Ohio
I recently had the opportunity read a very interesting, informative and uplifting book written by a great friend and I just had to send you my congrats and thoughts.
I really enjoyed COUNSELING IS LIKE . . at two levels. As a professional in the student affairs field who has been involved in a very basic manner with counseling students it was both informative and affirming. Your technique makes a lot of sense to me and your illustrations/examples were very clear and informative about the issues. I think that I can recall some discussions about this way back when I was working at Marietta. Perhaps it was in some RA training program. I plan to incorporate it into my limited repertoire in the future.
I also enjoyed the book including the author info as a friend. Reading the notes about the author and also the examples of your own experiences and about some of the people we both knew brought back many nice memories.

-James Sheridan
Associate Director, Student Services, Maine Maritime Academy,
Castine, ME

About the Author

Dr. Ross, who earned her Ph.D. from Ohio University, Athens, OH, is also certificated by the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, OH.
Margaret established the counseling center at Marietta College, in Marietta, OH. While working, Margaret discovered that resistant students responded well to analogies. Because of this discovery, Margaret experimented using different types of analogies with other student issues. This book is the result of her years of experience of using analogies working with hundreds of students.
Currently Dr. Ross is an adjunct professor for The Union Graduate School in Cincinnati, OH and The Center For Humanistic Studies in Detroit, MI working with graduate students as a member of their doctoral committees.
Several major industries as well as local educational institutions have contracted with Margaret to present workshops on stress, management, conflict negotiation, communication, creativity, time management and assertiveness. In 1988 she was invited to New Zealand to present workshops on stress management and the Myers Briggs Type Indicator for a number of college and high school faculty. For several summers she taught counseling classes at universities in the United States and Canada.
In 1992, she began the practice of T'ai Chi and now teaches T'ai Chi at a residential treatment center for juveniles in Marietta and at the Tennessee Fitness Spa, in Waynesboro, Tn.
Of the many awards Margaret has received she is most proud of two that were given by colleagues: The Distinguished Service Award from the Ohio College Counselors' Conference and the President's Award from the Ohio Association of Women Deans, Administrators and Counselors.

Excerpts

Following are some examples of analogies found in the book.
From the chapter THE ART OF COUNSELING:
COUNSELING IS LIKE . . . Working with the trunk of a tree.
When you see a tree in the woods most of us just see a tree. It can be tall or short, smooth or gnarled, fat or skinny. At this stage it is hard to imagine what the beauty captured inside might be.
When the tree trunk is viewed by an artist, she begins to see the potential. Even then, the potential is not seen until somehow the trunk is opened up. I'm told by artists who work in wood that before they make the first cut, they live with the trunk for a while and study it to see what might be revealed. The artist has no preconceived idea of what might be hidden in the wood. Rather she waits for the wood to reveal itself. She lets the grain and coloration dictate the work to unfold. To not wait, the wrong cut may spoil the creation hidden inside. I know artists who may have a piece of wood in their studio a long time before they work on it.
This is a lot like counseling. When a student comes to you, you have no idea of what might be inside. It is important to wait for the student to reveal what is there. The counselor may have some preconceived ideas based on experience. To act on these ideas would be a disservice to the student. The counselor needs to spend time with the student, providing a nurturing environment so that the student feels free to reveal what is inside. Beginning counselors like to ask questions. What they get in return is the answer to the questions, but not necessarily why the student came. As with the tree trunk, sometimes the beauty is not revealed at the first encounter. It may be necessary to provide time for the outer protective layers to be sloughed off, so that the real beauty, the core if you will, can be revealed. The student may not be ready the first time she comes to see you. Sometimes a student will come, only to disappear and maybe return two or three months later or even a year later.
With many students, others have acted too soon or have not appreciated the hidden beauty. Often times a scar is left rather than a way of opening. The counselor's job is to provide the time and space for the student to heal from these scars. When that has taken place, then the student will feel more comfortable allowing the outer protective layer to fall off. The student begins to unfold and the hidden beauty will be revealed. Unlike the tree trunk the student may continue to grow and develop. Counseling is an art and the counselor is the artist, looking for the beauty.
From the chapter on COUNSELOR GROWTH:
Counseling is like . . . Turning a kaleidoscope.
I have had 25 years of experience as a counselor in a college counseling center. This means that I basically worked with young people between the ages of 18 and 22. In this stage of their growth, they shared many common problems. In essence, I had heard them all. But had I? I needed to be careful to respect the issues of the individual student and to hear the individual pain. Just because the story was the same didn't mean the situation was. To help me (and you)keep this in perspective, I offer the analogy of turning a kaleidoscope. I would even suggest that you get one for your office and in between appointments, take a few minutes to play with it. This will do at least two things: remind you of the differences between the students you see and also relax you so that you will be fresh to meet your next appointment.
I collect kaleidoscopes and have several different types, styles and formats. Some are small and others are large, but they also have some characteristics in common. Kaleidoscopes basically work on the same principles. You must move them in some way to get results. Something else I have noticed about them, is that regardless of the type, over time most of them will repeat a pattern. The patterns produced are different among the kaleidoscopes, but sooner or later, the same pattern will emerge within each of the kaleidoscopes. Some patterns are more beautiful than others. Some are more complicated. These characteristics remind me of the students with whom we work. They are unique individuals. All are different in many ways, but there is usually a common theme that emerges. This is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that we have been there before in this situation and know that the students can emerge from it. The curse is that if we are not careful we can become complacent about what the students are struggling with and be tempted to give them answers that worked for others. In my 25 years as a college counselor, I have heard the same stories over and over. I need to remind myself that even though the stories are the same, the students are different. Their individual pain is unique to them and I must be careful to respect the integrity of each student.
How do we work to stay fresh and not fall into poor attitudes about the students? I believe this is where we must continue to be involved in our own professional growth, whether through reading, talking with colleagues, going to conferences or taking workshops. Successful counselors use kaleidoscope thinking. Do what a kaleidoscope does by taking a new perspective or angle on the problems everyone else sees--shaking up the pieces, challenging assumptions and getting a new set of possibilities.
We also need to be aware of what is going on in our own lives. We need to keep our personal issues out of the counseling office. In my career I have had the occasion to teach counseling practicum. One of the biggest challenges I had to deal with in beginning counselors was to help them keep their psychological distance from the issues being presented to them.
From the chapter on STUDENT GROWTH
Counseling is like . . . Duplicate bridge.
Many times, when students come into counseling, they feel overwhelmed by their past and believe that they have no impact on what the future may hold for them. They also believe they are stuck with what has gone on before. When I sense this is an issue for the student, I use the analogy of duplicate bridge. This will help them to understand that no matter what their past may be, they are not stuck there. With help and support, they will be able to " play their cards"in new ways to change what the outcome can be.
Their histories will help them to understand where they are now, how they got there, but it does not freeze them in a particular style of living. Students can become more than who they were in the past. Each person has choices to make, and the choices are not always easy. They need to be on guard to be sure that they don't fall back into old unhealthy ways. Students can learn from the past and, through counseling, can change their course in life.
I don't play duplicate bridge, but I am told by a friend of mine who does, that it works something like this. A foursome sits down at a table where the cards have already been dealt. As they play the cards, they keep the cards in front of them so that the hands remain intact. When they have finished playing the hand, they leave each hand in place and another foursome comes along and plays the same cards. The object of the game is not so much to win, but rather to play the hands the best way you can. In this situation, there are some preset conditions and the players must do the best job possible under the conditions that have already been established.
I see a parallel between duplicate bridge and counseling. When a student comes to see me, the student brings with him the accumulation of all that has happened up to that moment. Neither the counselor nor the student can control what has gone on in the past. However, we both must be cognizant of what history the student brings. More and more I am becoming aware of the concept that I do family counseling minus some of the family members. Who the student is in front of me has been greatly affected by the student's history. In working with the student, my focus is more likely to be "how can you help yourself? " "What can you do to make things better for yourself? " When we do talk about history, it is in terms of how it is affecting the student right now. [It is easy to place blame and allow ourselves to get caught up in the game of helplessness. ]I work to be very clear with the student that when we do look at the student's history, it is not to find fault or blame. Rather, the focus is on understanding what has happened to bring the student to this time and place. As a youngest child, I am well aware that each family member has a unique reaction to a situation. As a counselor, I must have that awareness about my client. I see my role as helping the students learn how to "play the cards they have been dealt"in the best possible way. We need to explore all the options. This way students can begin to reclaim the power (control)over their life and realize that even though the "cards have been dealt, "it is the student who must choose how to play the cards.
Virginia Satir alludes to this in Peoplemaking, when she says to take three or four objects and find at least three different ways to balance them. The point being that there is more than one option in any situation. The important thing is to search for the options and not to settle for the first one you discover (Satir. p. 120)
Our job as counselors is to help students explore their options, to examine them before jumping at the first one that comes to mind.
From the chapter on GOOD MENTAL HEALTH HABITS
Counseling is like . . . Being stuck in the snow.
number of occasions I have encountered students who are having difficulty in a situation and believe that the way to succeed is to keep doing what they are doing over and over again. In the realm of academic success, I have seen students spending more time using the same approach to studying, when what they need to do, is to learn a new approach. This also happens in the realm of personal relationships. Rather than looking at their behavior and discovering that they need to change, they keep repeating the same behavior that is not successful for them. It is sometimes difficult to get them to back off and take a good look at what they are doing and how it is not working for them. What they need to do is reevaluate their situation and look for new ways to approach, solve or deal with their issues.
A way I have of getting students to explore changing is to use the analogy of being stuck in the snow. Here they see the impact of what they have been doing, how they have been stuck, and the need to change. When they have reached this point we are then able to explore different ways of behaving.
The other day I was working with someone and he made the comment, "I seem to be stuck. I have been doing the same thing over and over and can't seem to get anywhere! "
My comment to him was, "Stop what you are doing! " I went on to explain by the use of an analogy.
Since this young man was from the northeast, I asked him if he had ever been stuck in the snow. When he said yes, I asked him what he did to get out. His reply was he got out of the car and either shoveled snow or pushed the car. This usually resulted in getting unstuck. I pointed out to him that before he could get out of the car and push, he first had to stop what he was doing. If he had continued to push the accelerator, he would only get in deeper and deeper. He could get in so deep it would take a tow truck to get the car out.
In using this analogy with counseling, once you get "stuck, "you keep repeating the same behavior over and over. Before you can do anything else, you need to stop this behavior. Once you have stopped, it is possible to pause, take a look at what is going on, and use some other strategy to get "unstuck. "
This seems so obvious, yet many times we keep repeating the old behavior over and over and get stuck. I am reminded of Glasser's Reality Therapy when he advises that if whatever you are doing doesn't work, Stop! Yet many of us seem to find this difficult to do.
I suggested to this young man that he needed to keep the image of "spinning wheels" in his head, and to monitor his behavior to make sure that he wasn't digging himself in deeper.
From the chapter on RELATIONSHIPS
Counseling is like . . . Watching a tree grow.
In June, I usually spend some time thinking back over the year, and about some of the students with whom I have worked--a time of reflection. I recently had the experience of attending a high school graduation for a member of my family. When I put these two experiences together and think about the changes I have seen, I am reminded of the expression, "you can't see the forest for the trees. " That is, it is difficult to see the changes on a day to day basis, but when you sit back, all at once the results are there. It is not unlike watching a tree grow. Even though it is not apparent, the tree grows all winter long. It is not until the buds appear that we "see" the growth and then it seems as if overnight the tree is in full leaf. This seems to apply to some of the students I have worked with. I wonder if anything is taking place and then they seem to come into full bloom.
I did some landscaping at home this year and I almost cut out one bush. I was sure it was dead. Thanks to the frequent spring rains, I didn't get around to cutting it down. One morning I went out and it was in full bloom. That reminded me of my students. They don't always grow according to my time schedule! I need to remind myself to respect their own pattern of growth, and not to impose my schedule on them. I know that many of the young people I work with will not bloom until a year or two after they graduate. My goal is to have the patience "to watch the tree grow" even if I don't get to witness the blooming.
From the chapter on ENDINGS
Ending counseling is like . . . Tying off a loom.
When the end of counseling comes, it is important to help students understand that there is a "life beyond counseling. " At this stage, they tend to focus on the ending rather than appreciate that the ending is an ending to only one phase of their life and that it also marks a beginning of the next stage.
Another phenomenon is the belief that now that they are ending counseling, all problems are solved. It is important to understand that counseling is a part of growth and that growth continues throughout life. The student needs to see life as an ongoing, changing pattern of growth. We build on the past which helps us to be open to the future.
I believe that the analogy on weaving deals with the issue of understanding their past as a way of impacting upon their future. o understand that they are not paralyzed with what has gone on before. With some thought and creativity, they are able to change the patterns of their lives and to shape it in a way that will be more meaningful to them.
When you are going to make something on a loom, you must first warp the loom. Because this is a time consuming process, most weavers put enough yarn on the loom to make several items--like dish towels. Once this is done, you thread the bobbin with the weft thread and begin to weave. You can control the pattern in a variety of ways. One way is to use more than one shuttle, with different colors on each shuttle. Another way is to use a variegated yarn. In addition to this control, how you use the treadles also affects the pattern that you weave. Different combinations produce different results. In theory, you can warp enough yarn to make, perhaps 10 dish towels, each with a different pattern.
When you have made one towel as long as you want, you leave several inches of warp for fringe before you begin the next towel. You also have an option of making the towels different sizes. When you have completed the weaving, it is necessary to tie off the warp so that it doesn't become unraveled. As you take the towels off the loom, it is necessary to cut between each towel and tie that yarn off as well.
In thinking about weaving and students, we have a parallel. The warp for the student is the family. Each member of the family is usually a different weft thread, so that each is a unique individual. In addition, the people the student encounters as she leaves the family and moves on to other experiences, also contributes to the weft. As the student grows, because of life changes, the treadle patterns can change as well. We seldom go through life with the same patterns with which we started. There will be growth spurts and what might seem to be plateaus, so there will be spaces in our growth patterns.
When a student comes into counseling it is usually due to some problem with the pattern that has been woven. The counselor's job is to help the student learn how to weave a different pattern in life. Most of the time, when the student leaves counseling, it is not necessary to cut apart the various stages of her growth. Rather, the student has learned how to make a pattern that fits. At the end of counseling, it is important to tie off the loose ends so that the student doesn't become unraveled and revert to a pattern that is less healthy.

Catalogue Information