If you'd rather place an order by talking to one of our cheerful order desk clerks, please call 1-888-232-4444 (USA and Canada only) or 250-383-6864. From Europe, ring our UK order desk clerk at local rate number 0845 230 9601 (UK only) or 44 (0)1865 722 113.

Surviving Tears on My Pillow

by Jean Ann Givens

147 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-1215; ISBN 1-4120-0847-6; US$17.00, C$19.00, EUR14.00, £10.00

Two children walking across the river of life after being tossed out with the garbage are guided by an angel to their uncertain future. This book reminds the reader that they could be the saving grace to protect a child so they will not have "tears on thier pillow".

Read more!

about the book      about the author      sample excerpts or Table of Contents      catalogue info

About the Book Two children walking across the river of life after being tossed out with the garbage. An angel guides them. Little did they know, this would be the last time they would be united. Life's destiny would soon part them. One would have to fight her way through many unhappy days ahead, the other would be lost to her, his life's journey would have a different path, with his own angel to watch over him. This is a book about Jean and how her life changes. She learns that her angels were camped around her and would someday lead her to the light. It is also a book to remind the readers that they could be the saving grace to a child so they will not have "Tears on their pillow".

---

About the Author At 50 years of age I was once again single and carrying so much baggage. I had searched for a unconditional love that as a child I had never received. My life had been filled with hurt and I was lose in a valley of self- pity. Looking in the mirror I thought, "You have to make a change." For years I had made note on some of the terrible times of my life. It was time to put them together and take a long look at my life. At first it was a way of finding piece within myself, but it soon turned into a way of determining what I had to do to survive the rest of my life. With the help of God, many changes,a whole lot of work,and a lot of forgiveness later, this book immersed. With the changes, I became able to see God's plan for my life I know somewhere there will be a person that reads my book and will see their self in it,or a child that you will see with glazed eyes begging for help. If me laying my heart and soul out to you will help only one child or one adult child than that is my purpose for the book and the reason I was lead down the path of darkness into the light May you find,as I have,healing and a new beginning. "Therefore if any man be in Christ,he is a new creature; old things are pasted away; behold,all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17 Sincerely, JEAN ANN GIVENS

---

Sample Excerpts or Table of Contents

Pages 59-61:

Julys have always been a bad month for me. It started as a child and continued into my adult life. It was a month I tried to stay very busy and be very careful until it passed. One July day, for no reason, Alberta was in a very bad mood. As usual she took it out on me, accusing me of things I did not do and telling me how bad my mother was and that I was turning out just like her. I could not remember anything about my birth mother except what she had told me. Alberta said, I would be a whore and abandon my children like she had done. Something snapped in me. It was the last straw. I knew she would beat me for what I was about to say, but I did not care. I screamed, "No I will not. I would never put a child through the hell that I have gone through. I am not my mother and you have no right to say that I will be like her."

For a moment Alberta just stood there. I had never said anything or spoke up to her. I always had let her say what she wanted to and took it, half believing what she said. She turned around and went into her bedroom. I was surprised at her reaction. I expected her to slap me or knock me to the floor, but to just turn around and leave the room was so strange. I continued to wash the dishes that I had started. About ten minutes later I felt a pain in my back that brought me to my knees. Then my hair was grabbed and I was dragged across the room to a chair and thrown across it. She stripped my blouse off and with a hard rubber hose that came from a car, and began to beat me. I felt each lash and when I fell to the floor in pain she grabbed the chair that I had turned over and struck me with it.

All the time she was silent, using all her strength to achieve the endeavor she set out to accomplish. She was a small woman but when she was mad she seemed to have the strength of two men. She had snapped and all the anger and jealousy that had been building up for years was targeted on me now.

At some point the hose was switched for a board. By this time I was unable to know what was happening to me. I only knew pain and believed and hoped I would die soon.

I do not know how long the beating went on or how long I was unconscious, but when I woke up I was alone and the kitchen was spinning. A haze hung over the kitchen. The pain was excruciating and I could feel blood trickling down my back and head. Unable to walk I crawled into my bedroom and pulled myself up on the bed. Laying in anguish on my stomach I passed out again.

I dreamed of beautiful fields of flowers and someone leading me into a place of rest. Beside me a crystal clear brook slowly made its way down a hillside and the someone bathed my face in the cool water. My dream was interrupted by a light and the voice of my Daddy.

He said, "What the hell has happened to you?" I had never heard my Dad swear. I know he knew things were bad but I do not think he ever thought it would come to this. I told him it was my fault, that I had made her mad. Daddy got a wash basin and started bathing the blood away and checking out the whelps and bruises. I had bruises and cuts from my head to my legs with my back taking the biggest blows. He asked if I could remember everything and if I knew my name and kept asking questions until he felt he could leave me for a few minutes. I saw him cry that night and he kept saying, "I am sorry, I am so sorry I let this happen."

After tending to me he said he would be back in a little while and left the room. I heard him go to the door of Alberta's room. It was locked and he did not wait for her to unlock it. There was a loud bang and the door came open. I could hear voices and I knew Daddy was extremely mad. I heard him say that he would like to beat her like she had beaten...

---

Catalogue Information

---