Trafford Publishing: Dating and the Older Man

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Dating and the Older Man

by Jerome Albers

220 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-1514; ISBN 1-4120-1135-3; US$20.50, C$25.00, EUR16.25, £11.50

The dating game is looked at at honestly and humorously from many experiences. It discusses the best and worst places to meet desirable women. Bring back the fun women.

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about the book about the author sample excerpt catalogue info

About the Book

The book is baded on my real life experiences as an older man in the Dating game for over 15 years. After years in the dating game I experienced many events, situations, and types of women. I look at these experiences honestly and humorously. The statuses of women that an older man has available for dating are reviewed.
Also what a single man needs to do to attract desirable women and where and how to go to meet desirable women are discussed, because we all know where to meet undesirable women. The pleasures and pitfalls of dating, romance, and sex are discussed.
It does not show how to solve all dating problems, but most of the dating problems to avoid are discussed. It seems that both men and women hate dating and it is our own fault. I encourage men to take control of their life and their dating.
The book desribes the characteristics that men desire in women and the characteristics which men find not tolerable in women. It also describes the places to meet women and which are good and which are a waste of time and money.
It is an honest, humorous and witty look at this confusing and illogical part of our social life.

About the Author

Jerome Albers is a single man who divorced in 1986, which put him back into the dating game. He is a graduate of the University of California at Berkley and worked for NASA, IBM and Microsoft before starting Albers Consulting primarily a software consulting business. His greatest loves are music, acting, dancing, travel, adventure, and of course women.

Sample Excerpt
Concerts, Theatre, And Other Public Social Events.
This is a great way to meet women especially women with class or who want to have some class. Meeting at a concert, symphony, ballet, opera, or theatre is difficult because you only have the time before the concert and during intermission. The time is very limited, but it can be done. The conversation is easy to start without a come on line because you already share something in common that you can start a conversation about. You have to do your scouting fast and move fast without being to aggressive and the woman realize that there is a limited time to meet. Also find out where the people go after the concert for coffee or a drink. You can meet ladies there and again you have a topic with which to start the conservation.
Even better is to go to special social events put on by the theatre groups, symphony, ballet, etc. Most are associated with fund raising. There will be many couples there to socialize with and also some single women. Like private social gatherings you can meet and there are no expectations. Also the travel tours for the theatre or similar are great. Many women will take a group trip to New York to see several plays and the city of New York. Being with the group will allow you to spend time together to get to know them in a non threatening environment and they assume you have at least the love of the theatre, music, etc in common with them.
I also find single women under 40 at these events and their goal is often to meet a financially secure older man who likes the arts.
I don't go to many sporting events because I have other things to do with my time. I haven't found it very productive and men I know who go a lot of sporting events say that they never meet single women at sporting events. It was good when you were in high school or college, but not when you are older.
Vacation Resorts.
Créme de la créme! Great, Great, Great the best there is. The best place to meet desirable women and have a good time is to go to a resort in the tropics (i.e., Mexico, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, Antiqua, Turks and Caicos Islands, Virgin Islands, French Polynesia, Hawaii, Florida, Bahamas, and other relaxing exotic places). In these places you will meet ladies from all over the world that are on vacation and want to relax and have fun. They are away from home, family, friends, and work and they can just be themselves and not worry about their precious image. When women relax they can be a lot of fun. These are also the type of women who want to have fun and take vacations. These are also the women who have some money for vacations or holidays (depending on where they are from) and enjoy spending their money this way. These women are a lot less inhibited and their libido seems to be turned on. Don't believe the old tales, foreign women do love American Men. The Scandinavians, German, Dutch, and English do not have the sexual inhibitions that American women have and are much more friendly and social. European women are not as snotty with more class and culture then most American women. European women also expect men to make the decisions and you must make them or they will lose interest in you.
Travel in Europe is not very good for meeting American women because they want to meet the local European men, but it is a great place to meet European women who want to meet a good American man. Don't believe all the stories you hear that they hate Americans because almost all single European women want a chance to live in American.
When taking a vacation in the tropics go to a resort that has lots of activities included in the basic price. Women want to stay where they feel safe at least from force however they don't want to feel that they are so safe that nothing exciting will happen. Well unless they are the old worn-out ladies who don't want anything to happen and believe breathing could be a dangerous activity. But then this is not what you are looking for. Good resorts that offer everything in one place seems to be what women prefer. The women get involved in some of the included activities and that is a good place to meet them. The resorts are often called clubs and these clubs cater to singles and couples and usually have events and games through out the day. The clubs that also accept children are OK and you can have fun and meet single women, but they will have children with them. The children will be of any age. Most of the places that accept children have activities during the day for the children where the parent or parents do not have to be there and the resort provides childcare in the evening. This gives the woman time to meet men and have fun without the children around or having to worry about them. Believe me you will not have trouble in getting something going with these ladies. All of the sudden these women have time when they don't have to worry about the children and they are going to enjoy it. They tell me that they go to these resorts in order to have this no worry, no responsibility free time.
The best resorts are those that only accept people over 18. These resorts for people over 18 years vary from reserved fun to totally wild. If you want hedonistic activities then contact your agent and the Internet. If your agent doesn't know any of these resorts then get another travel agent. Some suggestions are the Super Clubs and Club Meds. Some of these resorts are what they call allinclusive. Many all-inclusive resorts do not allow tipping and it is rigidly enforced. What is all-inclusive varies from resort to resort, but the best resorts include: pick up and drop off at the airport, room, great food, all your drinks (including alcohol), all night discos (on site), nightly entertainment, water sports, other sports. Some of the sports included for free (in the price of accommodations) are; scuba diving, snorkeling, sailing, windsurfing, all night tennis, trapeze, beach volleyball, weight and exercise room, and lessons for the sports. Some will put you in with a roommate called single share where you pay the double occupancy fee instead of the singles rate. The roommate is of the same sex, these resort go a long ways toward helping men and women meet, but not so far as to bunk you with someone of the opposite sex. If you like the guy you now have a buddy to do some things with. I prefer to get a room to myself and usually need it, because the lady was sharing with another lady. Men this is the way to go to meet girls. Women like to be totally taken care of no matter where they are from in the world and these resorts do that. They will also spoil you. The degree of spoiling varies depending on the resort. It is great no matter what your age (over 18) and you will meet women of all ages except that they will be young in attitude.
Lets All Get Together And Feel All Right! from a Jamaican Song
Or
Heh mon, don't worry 'cause every little thing gonna be a right. Bob Marley

If you must take a girl friend or potential girl friend on vacation make her pay her own way up front. The reason for this is that she may cancel out on you and because you paid for it you are out the money. The woman's real excuse is probably that they don't want to spend the time with you, but the excuse given is usually: I have a sick relative, I can't get away from work, my mother doesn't approve (this excuse has no age limits, but her mother would probably love to go), and a multitude of other lame excuses. Maybe you should ask her mother to go. Even if the excuse was valid she has now canceled after you bought those non-refundable resort and plane tickets. Now you are left with the expense of the non-refundable tickets and have to take the trip alone for twice the cost. You get one vacation when you could have had two. Unfortunately the airline ticket has to be in her name and can't be used with out an ID and can't be cashed in expect by her. I have met men on vacation that took their favorite cocktail waitress or just someone they knew just to use the tickets because their girlfriend had backed out. I have also met some interesting women who vacationed this way. Every time I have paid for a trip for a woman over 40 she canceled. Not once did an older woman go on the trip. She did go when I paid the hotel and she paid for he own airline tickets. In this case she also would have lost money. If there is no penalty for them they don't seem to care. Women will have to explain this behavior and attitude because I can't explain it. After the trip you can reimburse them if you want, but I have found that to be unnecessary. Remember you want to date women who have money and are fun. If they can't afford or do not want to take fun trips then they are not the woman for you. If the lady is young and beautiful the chances are that she will go. I have never had a woman under 40 cancel on me and some had been threatened with losing their job because they have no vacation time. They said so what and went on the trip and not one lost her job. She did loose one to two-weeks pay, but she expected that. Now that the loss of $3,000 to $10, 000 doesn't bother me as much, I might ask an older woman to go and pay the way. I also have enough female friends that I can always ask another one to go in her place and only loose the airfare and that is if she doesn't cancel the last day or two before the trip. They seem to like to cancel at the last moment and this doesn't give you time to have someone else go in her place. As I have said earlier it is handy to keep spare women around.
I have always had fun going on vacation alone. It is even better if you can take a buddy, but as I have gotten older this is harder because male friends get involved in relationships or are workaholics or in many instances my male acquaintances are too old. They don't say that is the reason they won't go, but that is the truth. It is that attitude problem again for often they are younger than I am. They have just given up. The old age attitude exists in both men and women. These old guys are just not any fun. Do not take a trip with a worrier and someone who is not fun (either male or female). When traveling nothing will go completely as expected and you had better learn to flow with it, deal with it, and laugh, because it is not in your control.
Whenever I have taken a vacation at a resort that only accepts people over 18, I have always met at least one lady with whom I did enjoy myself. If you relax and don't get too aggressive you will score, but you must be assertive, but not aggressive. Aggressive men scare women, but they want you to be assertive. It also helps to be in good health and good shape.
Most resorts have a turn days. These are the days where most of the current guests depart and the new guests arrive. It is usually Saturday and Sunday, but in some places because of air travel time from major cities it can be other days of the week. Your travel agent should know, if not get a new agent. It is your travel agents job to know. Turn days are the best days to arrive. Everyone is new and finding his or her way around and the single girls haven't hooked up yet. This gives you the best time to get started early in the vacation. You can do well if you arrive at other times, but this is the best time to arrive. It is also better to bring a buddy with you, since most women do not travel alone; they usually travel with their girl friend or girl friends. This means that when she is with you her girl friend is not left out because you buddy is there. This only applies for the first day or two, because after that both girls will have a guy that they like and hopefully you are one of the guys. I still have great success alone, but sometimes I hang out with another single guy for a day or two until we find someone. All the women will have a guy for the week within two days of arriving at the resort and usually within one day they have found a guy to spend their week with.
Play sports with the guys, but don't hang out and get drunk with the guys. There are always the guys who talk about it, but do nothing. Socialize with the guys and if possible also buddy up with a married couple or couples. If you are friendly with married couples and socialize with the guys the girls think you must be all right. After these initial meetings with the ladies just flow with it and see where it will take you. There is a time to stop hustling and let all the work you have done take effect. Act as if you are relaxed on the vacation and what ever happens will happen and then it will happen. And to relax and enjoy yourself is really why you took the vacation.
Always go to the bar for a drink before dinner. At the end of a busy day everyone shows up there in order to meet new people and meet up with people they have already met. Also many of the resorts have buffets where the maitre de will seat you. Unless you are sitting with some new friends for a reason let the maitre de seat you. The maitre de is cool and likes to play matchmaker. When the maitre de offers you a seat with a group of ladies or a lady, the ladies don't argue or get upset with you because you are not the one inviting yourself he is seating you. Everyone smiles and introduces them self and you just met some more ladies and friends. Dinner attire is from casual formal to casual, but never look cheap and sloppy. After dinner go to the disco and dance and socialize. The disco dress is very casual, but always look as if you have class and money. In a T-shirt and shorts you can look like a ditch digger or Donald Trump, the choice is yours. You must not get drunk and dance to fancy. Drinking and Dancing is not your ultimate object and no one likes a drunk.
I can also say that this is some of the best sex I have ever had. The ladies are relaxed on vacation and will do things sexually they would never do at home and are at ease about it. They will also have sex in places that they would not even consider at home and at home would consider it perversion. Some examples: in a small sail boat or catamaran, on the beach at night, in a hammock, in the swimming pool, on a balcony with people walking by waving, in your lap watching the evenings entertainment, on a little island out from the beach, and so on and so forth. The one comment, which I hear the most often is "I am glad my mother can't see me now, and I hope she never finds out." I am willing to bet that on vacation her mother either did or does the same thing. On vacation women also do not ask a bunch of questions about your background and are willing to accept you as you are and learn about you as you are together. In other words they do not do the interrogation stuff. I believe this is because they don't have to display you to their friends, family, and co-workers. In other words women are not looking at a potential catch, just a vacation fling. But who cares what their reasons are, it is great that they are not doing it.
I have meet women on vacation many different ways. I walked up to a lady I had seen several times during the day and I said I thought she was very attractive and would she like to have dinner with me. She was 35 tall and very trim and we took second place in the dance contest that night. I spent a very pleasant week with her and we did it the first evening on the dock and I had not done it on a dock since I was a teenager. Another time I walked into a bar before dinner and this blond lady who is wearing this beautiful white see through cocktail dress comes up and asks me my name and if I would like to have dinner with her. I found out a little later that she was a natural blond. Another time I was having dinner and a lady came up and asked me if I would like to join her and her male friend for desert and the evening's entertainment. He had brought her because his girl friend has canceled. She had seen me doing the flying trapeze in the circus show and really wanted to get to know me. At least that is what she said. But who cares why she wanted to meet me just that she wanted to meet me. After desert and the show her friend said he was going down to the disco. She and I had more entertainment and fun at the beach and then went to my room for the night. We had more desert and slept late. Another time, I was seated for dinner next to a small young beautiful blonde who had just arrived that day. I had been to this resort before and knew my way around. She had come alone, but was very outgoing and hip. She had a pierced tongue along with other piercings and I spend a week enjoying them. She was a very nice young lady, with great manners and education. Another time at toga night a 25-year-old blond who was a cocktail waitress from Tampa came up to me and started talking. She was there with an older guy just for the trip and he wanted more, which she was unwilling to do with him. She also loved to play tennis and could not find another tennis player. Well, she got her airplane ticket and stuff from his room and moved in with me and for the next several days we played a lot of tennis and did a lot of other things. Of course there are the standard ways I meet women at a resort: scuba diving, snorkeling, tennis, beach volley ball, laying on the beach, the games the resort puts on, the disco, partying in the evening, piano bar, etc. Many times women just come up to me and say they have seen me playing some sport and start the conversation. I have also met them in airports while waiting for connections. The ways to meet women on vacation are almost endless. I wish women were this friendly while at home, but they are not. I have actually meet women again that I had met before at another resort on another vacation.
There is another thing to consider and that is that both of you know that this doesn't have to be permanent. You are there for a week maybe two and then you go your different ways. Therefore, you may know that there are things about the lady that you could not tolerant over a long period of time and the same goes for the lady about you, but right now that is not important for this is not viewed as a long-term relationship. Women also have a name for this and they call it a vacation romance. It is one of their dreamy little fantasies. Women will have sex with and even get pregnant by men that back home they would not even talk to. They are not looking for a provider here they just want to have good fun for a week. If you have money it helps, but not required. Back home they have their image to worry about and they are seeking a provider. With men I think it is more of the feeling that you do not having to make a long-term commitment before you have fun and sex. Please, for both of your sakes don't forget to wear a hat. All resorts sell them if you forget to bring them. However, when the time to go home arrives both of you often realize that the big differences that you thought you could not tolerate in each other do not seem at all to be a problem for a relationship. However in many cases once back home everything returns back to the old ways and she becomes a bitch and you become a bastard.
Most of my current girl friends I have met over the years at resorts. All are younger than I am; the youngest lady is younger by over 25 years. Many of my current girl friends do not live in the area and I do not get to see them except on vacation. Occasionally we meet somewhere for fun and conversation. I do not pay their way. Some of these girl friends I have kept in touch with for over 7 years (email is great). Why am I not in a long-term relationship with them? In a way maybe I am. Most of them are in no hurry to remarry and some say they may never remarry. It is just not one of our priorities. Our priority seems to be just to enjoy each other company for what we have to offer. The problem with a long-term relationship is that they don't live near where I live and they usually have a good job or business and do not what to move. I have found out that long distance relationships do not work well.
Guys, stop spending so much money on dating. In most cases you might as well flush it down the toilet. For as little as $1,500 you can spend a week in the tropics and this includes everything (scuba diving, sailing, drinks, food, etc.). If you didn't waste money on worthless dates where you knew you don't stand a chance of scoring, then how many vacations per year could you afford?
What many men I have met and I can recommend is travel, stay at resorts, and enjoy. I could write a great book based on my vacation experiences alone. The nice part about these short relationships is that they are great and have no after taste. This is one place where women turn into human beings. I wish they could be human while at home. I have said I keep hoping that one day women will become human and belch, sneeze, snore, and fart and married men laugh at me. What is unfortunate is that when they get off the plane back home, they revert back to the bitch they were. You often ask yourself is this the same lady I spent a week with and had such a great relaxed time with. If I go to a large resort then I always find a lady to spend some time with and bring home at least 3 phone numbers. At the smaller resorts in isolated places where I often scuba dive I always bring home at least one phone number. Only about half the time will I score at the small resorts, but that is not why I went there.
I do not go on cruises so I can say nothing about them. The men that I have talked with about cruises were not very positive. They said there were too many undesirable women both in looks and/or the women didn't have the desire to do something different. Most of the women I know who go on cruises do so because they consider it very, very safe and this not the type of women I am seeking.
Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of traveling.

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