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A Friend For All Seasons

by Mary Pendlebury

87 pages; quality trade paperback (softcover); catalogue #03-2466; ISBN 1-4120-1988-5; US$19.99, C$19.99, EUR13.66, £10.32

Laugh, cry, reflect, share, heal. Each of us needs to know that someone out there understands. Let's celebrate love and friendship as the greatest catalyst to healing and growth.

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about the book      about the author      excerpts and Table of Contents      catalogue info

About the Book

Whether you are waiting to meet that special friend or you have already have him/her in you life, this book is for you. You may be feeling that somehow your life has not been validated. If you are feeling as though you are one of those invisible people, you will come to realize that there is someone out there waiting for a friend like you.

A true friend is the first person who gladly rises out of the roller coaster of life with you. It was just such a friend inspired this book. A book reflecting snapshots of our combined and individual experiences but written with a twist. The idea is that each person reading this book will be able to insert his/her own life experiences into the stories, filling in the details that make it uniquely your story as well. Read. . .experience. . .laugh. . .cry. . .reflect. . .then share this with that special someone in your life. What you will share in the process is a deeper appreciation for one another and hopefully an enhanced opportunity to share the mutual healing and growth that comes in the process of developing a friendship.

About the Author

It is sometimes difficult being the sixth child in a family of ten but then again it gives you the opportunity to learn in so many different ways. That was me. . .one of those middle children that had to find some way to be unique. I was told so many times by my parents that they knew they were going to have a girl, what her name would be and also that she would be born on December the eighth. It wouldn't be until after the fourth boy and the first girl were born that I came along. I suppose that was where I learned the importance of patience and perseverance.

Everyone expected me to become a social worker. . .can't figure out why. I started out taking care of the younger siblings, countless other children in the neighbourhood and last but not least numerous nieces and nephews. Yes at some point I was a Social Service Worker. I worked primarily with teenagers. Through the years I have worked at so many kinds of jobs from general larborer, to management positions. I have been a postal worker, receptionist, cashier, customer service representative and believe it or not I was even a forklift operator in a warehouse. It has been a long and interesting journey to say the least. Given all of that, it seemed that there was still something lacking. At the urging of my frined Diane, I started writing once again and found that it was like returning to a lost love.

Perhaps that will also give you an idea of where the fodder that feeds my stories and poems comes from. It is amazing just to observe people and see things unfold in any given situation. What I didn't expect to see for the longest time was this. Me. . .having to sit myself down to write about myself for a book that was going to published. It is my hope that this book will bring you some hope, encouragement, validation, and maybe even a few laughs. With my dear friend Diane I have been able to share in an experience of mutual growth and healing that I am sure will continue for years to come. To me, friends are the best medicine. Best friends are those once in a lifetime kind of people. They ride out every storm with you. They share the mundane and make it feel like the most important thing in the world. They heighten the joys and quell the fears. They are truly the ones who give meaning the title of A Friend for all Seasons and I have been blessed with just such a person in my life. For that I am truly grateful.

Excerpts and Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Always

It's all the little things that are left unsaid
Words for the greater things laying in wait
Validating the past left sorrowfully staid
It's the leap of faith for which you are paid

Chance did knock and there it stayed
Passing through the womb of my soul
You lingered there 'til the torment subsided
Life indeed had taken its toll

Leaving not, in that womb you've resided
Igniting a spirit that was losing its breath
Quietly, so quietly you revived a life
The spirit grew wings and renounced its death

Onward and upward away from the strife
Like an angel of God you held out your hand
To beckon me forward into a living light
With subtle urging to take a stand

Retreat did I, from that darkest night
Life lessons we learned on the way
No longer alone to battle the past
I know in all things, here you will stay
Here I am, home at last

In gratitude true, you have helped me along
Understanding things left unsaid
For every quip you could turn into song
Your kindness ceaseless, your friendship my stead

In all things that mattered you stayed
the course Your loyalty treasured in unmeasured ways
In dreams to come, you've been the force
For this, I thank you.... ALWAYS

A Friend For All Seasons!

There are times when storms move in, taking us off balance.
It is a season of turmoil and seemingly unending strife.
It grabs hold and we feel it may never end.
Sometimes the season passes quickly, though it seems an eternity.
Other times it takes its time and we feel we can take no more.
We can ride it out or take shelter in a friend.

There are times for change and moving on.
This is the season of growth and for testing our strength - our courage to go on. Sometimes our will bids us to wait, but that is only fear.
The temptation to stand still.
We can stand alone marking the passage of time by counting our regrets, or take the step and still accept, your friend is behind you all the way.

There are times of sunshine and perfect calm.
This is the season of contentment and joy.
The season of confidence, reassurance and pride.
In this too we are not alone.
The season only magnified when shared with a friend.

There are times that seem to bring us to a place lacking color and focus.
A time where we feel alone.
This is the season of solitude, restoration and re-evaluation.
A season of contemplation and searching the soul.
A season to be alone if only for a short while.
In the quiet, there waits your friend.
Knowing just how or when to step in.
Knowing sometimes it's better to listen.
Knowing and trusting that when the time is right you will let them back in.
The quietness shared in understanding when words cannot be found.

This I know is not just a friend for all seasons, but a friend for all times.
The friend that brings shelter in a storm.
The friend that brings encouragement, reassurance and joy.
The friend who hears, when nothing is said.
The explanation seems profound when the truth is simply a "friend for life".
The friend that brings life and shares life. In many ways it is the friend who defines life.

Meet you at the Park

When you are having "one of those days" I will meet you at the park. We will head to the swings and make the rest of the world disappear. With each glide through the air we can put more distance between "the day" and us. Just imagine the feel of the air on your face and the comfort of that pressure that leaves you feeling like you're suspended in flight and time. Imagine how far you would be able to jump when you have swung so high you could do a somersault over the top bar.

When you are having "one of those days" I will meet you at the park. A swing set for two so you won't be alone. We may be there for hours and without a care. You won't ever have to worry about others waiting their turn 'cause this park is located between our ears. When we can't physically go to they are, then just sit and imagine and soon we will be there. Flying higher and higher...sun on our faces...the breeze in our hair.

It's better than rocking chairs, hammocks and patio furniture. They will do in a pinch but the real thing can't be beat. One day we will sit on real swings and pass the time in that measured way. Each swing to-and-fro like a pendulum marking the tempo in the race to catch a bit of freedom. The simplicity of it all makes it seem rather silly. You and I both know there is just so much more that can't be explained. So keep in mind as the days go by that when you are having "one of those days", I will meet you at the park.

Inside-Out

It was a day that made the birds sing. It was a day that made the trees come into full bloom. The air was warm and the breeze just light enough to lessen the heat of the sun. It was all this and more but only if you were someone else. It was all of this if only you could get outside of who you were expected to be.

There she was in the room all alone. Waiting for something she feared would never come. She was only six to those around her but inside she was and old woman. She surveyed the room looking for a kind eye, a warm touch, a comforting voice but that would not come. And so like so many times before, she sat alone marking the passage of time by observing the emptiness of the house that had so much. It was there where she dared to dream of things yet to come. At times she took comfort in being ignored. Then there were the times she screamed her hurt and loneliness only to have it land on deaf ears and stone cold hearts. It was the age of her wisdom that created the insistence that she hold out for...something, or someone that would acknowledge that she was more than and inconvenience to those around her. They didn't know that she had the heart of an artist, the soul of a musician, the mind of a scholar and philosopher but most of all the needs of a child.

So few dared to look past their expectations of her. So few dared to look into her eyes and see and eternity of living in the body of a six-year-old. What could she know or understand that could be of any use to anyone. It was that attitude that made her invisible. It was that arrogance that provided her with life's greatest classroom. It is those invisible children that have more depth than the deepest ocean. Each day she prayed for someone to hear her silent screams all the while so acutely aware that it could only matter if that person also spoke the same language. Not English or Polish or any other verbal language but the silent language that is only spoken by those who are invisible. The language spoken by those who choose to survive despite those around them who insist one be not only a shadow of their own weaknesses but also a means to vent their own rage at life being less than they could make it. The rage that comes from the fear of not being good enough.

The years passed at a painfully slow pace but some things were changing. She started to meet others who spoke the silent language but they needed her more for a crutch and counselor but there was always a hint of that friendship. Each time the friendships were stronger and the crutches were weaker. Each time the language evolved to include and ever deeper sense of humor. She could see more clearly now that those childhood dreams could be realized. That she did in fact have a grip on the reality of what she needed. That it wasn't insane to think she could really be loved for who she was but there was a long way to go yet. Even though she could see a glimmer of hope she, at the same time, realized that she was still living life through the eyes and expectations of those people who didn't see or understand that old six-year-old. But this was all right at some level because she knew it was living incognito until it was safe to come out of hiding. It was safe until she was okay with reconnecting with the truth and wisdom of that six-year-old. She hadn't stopped believing she had just waited for the right time when her mind and age had come into alignment. She was the caterpillar in the cocoon waiting for the time to begin metamorphosing into herself. Yes, the years had passed slowly and with each passing year she wrapped herself slowly into the cocoon that had protected what was left of the artist, musician, scholar, philosopher and child. Most of the time it just felt like she was getting smaller but actually she was getting deeper.

The day was approaching when everything would change. As in nature, there is a time for everything. The only way there is order is that each aspect of this creation is finely tuned to a clock set by the creator. The alarm went off for her when she realized that she had to complete the metamorphosis in order to live. That to just stay in the cocoon meant death. It was no coincidence that she was leaving her old life not only with the six year old that was holding out for this day but also the with the six year old she gave birth to in those years of struggle. It was a new life where she would once again learn to love, to live and trust and endeavor to live life like it needed to be lived. She was inside-out. For the first time in her life she was with people who cherished who she was. She was with people who enjoyed life more because she was more real than anyone else they had ever known. With each day that passed she became more because she feared less. She trusted that what she dared to dream for in those early years had finally come into fruition. She was inside-out.... Exactly where she needed to be.

Catalogue Information

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