STEPTIDES FLAT

“Al,” said Valerie, “Shovels are not really Shovels in this context. You don’t do gardening with them, although you could. They just stand for a way of solving a problem. What started this was my saying how I think life should be lived—never worrying about the future and planning how to protect yourself. That’s a waste of life. What I call a Wormsley life. What I said was something like—live carefree, never worrying, never seeing dark clouds. Don’t waste your life on that. Live freely, live the way you think life should be lived, and if bad people come and try to take over, pick up a shovel or a baseball bat and wham them, and if they win, so what—at least you’ve lived a great life. “I guess I could have put it differently—stop spending billions and trillions on defense and atomic bombs and super jet planes—that’s a Wormsley way of throwing life away. Stop building up great armed forces, and making wonderful young people live in armies for protection. Stop spending billions on politicians who will decide how you must live. Live the way you think—actually, the way you know, that life should be lived, in all of its wonderful aspects, and if people come to change that, pick up a shovel or a baseball bat.” “That’s a great philosophy. Did you make it up yourself, or get it from someone or somewhere? So. Shovels and Wormsleys. Anything else?” “There’s also Slimers. They’re worse than the Wormsleys. And, yes, as far as I remember, I made it up. Probably had some influences along the line, but I don’t know or remember who or what.” “Do all four of you—I should say, all five of you, think the same way, about shovels and Wormsleys and Slimers? And how life should be lived?” “Pretty much so. We live in a place called Steptides Flat, and I think most of the people there would agree, if they were asked. But nobody ever asks, they just all enjoy living.” “I’d like to ask you one more thing. Why are you all becoming lawyers?” “Ah, the crucial question. If we all believe the philosophy Val spoke of, why do we want to become lawyers? Can you guess?” “Not really. Becoming a lawyer seems to me sort of a Wormsley thing, isn’t it? So, why?” “You’re right,” I said. “It is sort of Wormsley. Val asked me that, the first day we met. She asked if I was part Wormsley. I forget how I answered, but I think I told her that we Steptides people need some shovels around, because there are Slimers around in the area, and a lawyer would be an important Shovel if they come too close, as they have done lately. There were four of them a while ago, at the big celebration.” “What were you celebrating?” “Lots of things. A wedding, graduation from school, passing the bar exam, just how nice it was to be all together.” “One of these days I’ll have to go down and see your Steptides place, see what is so special about it,” said Al. “That’ll be nice,” I said. “Next time there’s a party or a celebration I’ll invite you. You’ll meet a lot of terrific people.” “Any Wormsleys?” “Not a one. And no Slimers, either.” “How about Shovels?” “None that I can think of right now. Maybe a few baseball bats.”