Dear Father, Mother, Step Mother, Step Father, Child, and Step Child:
In Malachi 4:1-2 in the Old Testament of The Holy Bible, the Lord of Hosts tells us that the day would come that shall burn as an oven; and the proud and the wicked shall be stubble. They shall burn, and they will be left neither root nor branch. However, those that fear the Lord’s name shall arise with healing in his wings and shall go forth and grow up as calves of the stall. This day is here. We all have been burned or suffered emotional turmoil over children, spouses, and parents.
However, we are suffering from spiritual dyslexia. We call light dark and dark light, evil good and good evil, etc. As a result, many fathers and mothers, stepfathers and step mothers, the providers and protectors of the family, are being burned by their children and step children. Parents and step parents are treated as “neither root nor branch.” Parents and step parents have been retired prematurely by their children and step children. This is very distressing and depressing for parents and step parents. Even children and step children become depressed with this behavior. Everyone’s depression is severe enough to require multiple medications for depression. In spite of counseling, the problems remain. Families and step families do not view each other as family anymore. More and more parents and step parents, children and step children feel that divorce, addictions, or suicide are the only answers.
Your depressions increase in intensity when you realize that you cannot keep up the pace that has been set for you and your step family. Step parents and step children receive the blame for this pace. Many biological parents cannot keep up the pace that has been set for their family. Take heart. The most perfect being, Jesus Christ, would not keep up with the pace that has been set for the families of the world. He set another pace.
I am a step parent. I could not keep up the pace that was set for my family. Yet, I have always been able to keep up with the pace of anything I tried, including a college degree in nursing and an intensive care nursing course. I realized I was in something over my head. I was in something that mere mortals could not correct. I decided to be more conscientious about reading my scriptures. Instead of letting the word of God lie hidden in my heart or dormant on my end tables, I decided to look for the laws of depression. I found them in the scriptures. I found the pace that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ created for us in this world. To my surprise, I also found a Heimlich Maneuver in Isaiah for parents, step parents, children, and step children when families are choking.
My step family experience reminds me of the time my child was educated without textbooks. Utah has a large population of children. Someone decided that it was cheaper to educate children by having a class set of books that always remained in the desk in the room. The child could not take the textbooks home. Teachers would copy the lesson plans for the child. Nothing came home. My child’s grades dropped drastically.
The teacher would not even allow me to borrow the book to copy the book myself. The teacher would not tell me the title so I could buy one. I was totally excluded from the picture of learning for my child. Yet, I must be doing something wrong in the home that her grades and concentration dropped drastically. Step parents, does this sound familiar?
Parents and step parents, you cannot keep up the pace without the textbooks for the family, the scriptures. When your name is had for good and evil in spite of your best efforts, what are you going to do? There are some textbooks that will help us. They are provided by the Mighty Counselor. Mary Jane Grange, R.N.