A Day That Would End Tearing At Your Heart
by
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Dan had a T10 injury and was paralyzed from the waist down. The uncertainty weighted heavily; we had no idea what was in store for our son, Dan. I felt like at times I was spinning around in a state of mental confession. I started asking myself, “How can Dan meet the challenges ahead and go on?” Dan had IVs, tubes, and hoses just everywhere. It was difficult to go into ICU, see Dan lying there, and unable to do anything for him. I prayed for a source of strength to guide Dan throughout his ordeal. I could only watch and silently say, “God, please heal Dan, please.” One of Dan’s best known stories is that he knew what he was going to do with his future. One cannot cease to admire him for his burning determination after his near-death experience. He has never asked why, only says there was a purpose. He has never looked back but forward, impassioned with a desire to gain occupational freedom as much as he could. He challenges himself and goes for what sometimes seems impossible. Some things are difficult for Dan, but he recognizes them and focuses on what he can do to change them. In a different position Dan now has to use his head as never before. Every day he has his routine that takes self-discipline, which he is in position of controlling. In his darkest experiences, he started to look for optimism, and affirmation was how he built new self-esteem and directed his energy to the light. Instead of staying out of reach, it was Dan who did the reaching. He realized it takes discipline and tenacity to find your life’s work; reaching out was one of those steps. He knew the seeds of hope must be planted in the soil of opportunity and cultivated with a personal commitment to place his dream within his grasp. He knew that hope alone would not achieve his dream, but reaching out would. Dan knew it was up to him to make his farm dream work, which gave him confidence and the inner strength to reach out to believe he could make it. Dan had started to work from his hospital bed, taking care of business matters. It would be harvest time before Dan was able to do any fieldwork. Within days, we began to see change in Dan as he got back into the combine; new energy seemed to flow. He has reframed his entire concept of attending to business; he has learned new ways of planning ahead and making decisions. Thus enables him to get things done in a more orderly manner Dan’s injury became a source of leadership inclinations. He has recognized that he can’t do the things he once did and has learned to work around his weaker areas. This is the basis for his success: Dan started believing in his ability. He learned to seize opportunities with family support to cheer him forward. Dan wasn’t afraid to take chances—obstacles he learned to handle along the way by being realistic. He focused on what he could control. There seem to be no doubts or fears; he took a predetermined course. If there were doubts or “dark fears,” Dan never expressed or revealed them. I knew Dan wasn’t alone, for he had what his one handicap detour would be, faith. It was through his early work activities involving body, mind, and machine that Dan found much strength and direction to overcome the barriers to success. Dan gulped life and has savored it with a strong will. He makes me think of the early John Deere “Steel Plow” that scoured brightly into the soil. Dan would scour his dream working as hard as the plow had to work, tearing the foulest of ground. His dream made his task easier and helped open vast ideas to success, as the plow did for our early settlers. Through Dan’s pain and sorrow, his father and my faith were tested along with Dan’s. It took strength to face what lay ahead for Dan, but like the seed Dan had sown to bring forth grain, we must do the same thing. Life does have its suffering and pain; they are part and parcel of life! When we make every day count for something, new hope is born within when one has the courage, faith, and strength in the hours of darkness to valiantly keep on trying. Sometimes the sorrow for Dan was over powering; there were tears every day. One has to learn from the situation one is in. Ultimately, we found the ability to face the uncertainties with equanimity. We never succumbed to despair, for we knew Dan was not through.
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About the Book
Even now, nineteen years after my son’s injury, I feel my praying for a miracle was answered. Dan’s faith in believing has been astounding. The insight of his spiritual belief, I realize, was based from his youth. Dan was a happy child. He sets goals early on; his bravery has been so inspiring, for he had many crosses to bear when his life was changed dramatically. Instead of his family assuring him, it was him who assured us that God had a purpose. He transformed what he believed by proving his confidence in doing and by a living faith. It easily could have been farewell to farming, but he proved to himself and to others he could fulfill his long-time dream of farming. He looked to the bright side with “I can” instead of “I can’t,” by staying true to his vision and keeping focus on tomorrow and moving toward larger visions. I, myself, had to learn all over to what one would say, letting go. There was not an hour in twenty-four I didn’t worry. By mere osmosis, I absorb the craft of letting Dan have an open road just as I did in his young youth. He proved paralysis is a choice and that what ifs are a waste of time.
About the Author
A mother of three children, grandmother of four, and a Midwest Indiana farm wife, started writing in 2001 after attending a World War II field artillery battalion reunion. Found writing is like a rebirth of a changing portrait providing new tools for exploring new territory of learning. Just one of the many natural steps one can take by expressing ones’ thought or one can say “gift of expression” by discovering the secret to the writing bliss of focusing on putting thoughts in writing.