The DRAGON TRAIN

Once there was a fire-breathing Dragon who dominated a town. When the locals went out to shop, the Dragon would use the opportunity to swoop down and pick off the most succulent of the children as an appetiser. The people missed going out in the sunshine and all became pallid and grey from the lack of fresh air. They no longer went out on country walks, for every time one of them stepped outside, the observant Dragon would be there in waiting to enjoy another meal. All the farmers were forced to keep their animals inside throughout the summer in case the Dragon fancied a starter. We are of course looking at this from the townsfolk’s perspective and not from the Dragon’s, who was after all, Dragon’s do. Today, he would be classed as an endangered species and given an area the size of Wales to roam free. But these were not enlightened times and the Dragon was not so much evil, as a pest that had to be stopped. The Dragon did what he was born to do, fly around, eat a few people and burn the odd tree with his breath. When he was done he would return to his lair somewhere in the highlands and dream about finding a mate, of which you can be assured there were none. After many Months like this, the people were suffering; a society that lives inside becomes drawn and sullen with the lack of fresh air and sunlight. No lawns had been cut, washing could never be hung out to dry, which put a great strain on the only tumble dryer in the town and the children had forgotten what it was to run carefree. The braver of the people decided to leave and were escaping at the dead of night dressed in dustbins for protection. On a quiet night, the rattle of dustbins could be heard, as the Dragon caught those trying to escape and ate a late supper, as if he was removing baked beans from a tin. It was a sorry state to live in this town and the townsfolk appealed to the council. The Mayor and all the councillors decided that something should be done and published a declaration in the local paper stating that, ‘If anyone could rid the town of the Dragon, a large reward would be given.’ Many of the cleverest young men and women from the University thought of ideas. The local inventor had many a sleepless night brainstorming and only managed to invent a device that could predict the weather, which at the time was completely useless since no one ever went outside. There was an idea by the archery society, to shoot the Dragon out of the sky with a very big bow and steel tipped arrows. This did not work and four of the town’s best archers had to go to the hospital to have stitches during a testing session. The fishing club suggested that a net be strung up between the two tallest towers and the Dragon lured into a trap by dangling a little fat boy from a crane as bait. Everyone thought this would have worked but they could not find a boy willing to surrender himself. Then the Blacksmith stepped forward and suggested a steel case in which to place the errant Dragon. Then the Chemist stepped forward and said that he had a sleeping potion, so powerful that it could, if administered correctly, send even a giant Dragon to sleep. The Dragon could then be placed inside the cage and so end his reign of terror. But how were they to get the Dragon to eat the poison? The Mayor called on a joint effort of his best planners and then issued a decree based upon their collective disagreements. All that they needed one brave soul to lure the Dragon into the square that would be dressed in a coat made from the finest bread and butter to disguise the taste of the poison. The brave volunteer would be awarded the medal of honour. Most people thought that the Medal of honour was a worthy tribute, yet all knew that the only time a foolhardy volunteer would wear the medal would be at his own funeral. Everybody voted for their least favourite person for everybody has a person they could happily see fed to a hungry Dragon. The prison offered a free pardon to any of the prisoners if they would act as bait, but not one of the hardened criminals thought it worth the risk. There was one man, Jeremiah Slant, who had been asleep for the past six months after a sack of Cement fell upon his head. His Wife, a very public spirited woman, put his name forward as she had become tired of visiting him in hospital. She believed that he was now pretending to sleep to avoid her and she deduced that, the shock of being in such close proximity to the Dragon would either force him to wake and act like a husband to her, or provide the Dragon a dinner, which would free up a bed in the infirmary. The Baker offered to bake a slice of bread in the shape of a coat and the tailor agreed to sew it together into a fine outfit for the sleeping bait. The Dairyman selected his finest butter and all the townsfolk met in the covered market to see who had been volunteered to entice the Dragon. The chemist agreed to make the poison and set off to his laboratory to start mixing the ingredients while the town hall caretaker collected the sleeping Jeremiah from the infirmary where, dressed in the bread suit, they placed him a wheelbarrow. When the Chemist returned with his potion he sprinkled it across Jeremiah’s coat, holding his nose, less he should breath in the fumes that fused into the butter. His noxious work done, the caretaker dressed himself in a suit of armour from the museum and wheeled out the still sleeping Jeremiah onto the Market Square to attract the Dragon. Back at the Blacksmith’s, the apprentice padded the bellows and the Blacksmith warmed the charcoal, till it was hot enough to smelt the iron for the Dragon’s casement. Red hot, steel plates were hammered into shape and the rivets heated until they were white hot ready to be driven home in a coat of steel which would hold the Dragon, lest he escape to wreak havoc. It was not long before the townsfolk heard the beating of leather wings and all looked up to see the shadow of the Dragon pass across the square. A Dragon shaped shadow that eclipsed the sunlight sent a shiver through the veins of the townspeople and they stepped back as one to hide from the danger. The Dragon sensed that it was being watched, for although Dragon’s are in the main very evil creatures they have some intelligence, which they use to good effect. The Dragon spotted the sleeping Jeremiah in the towns square and rather than pouncing on the butter man, as he would normally do with a victim, the Dragon circled a few times before landing on the cobbles and crept up to the wheelbarrow to sniff the contents. The butter was the finest that the Dairyman could produce, slightly salted and left out in the midday sun it had the same odour that a frightened human emits before being eaten. This pleased the Dragon and he tentatively stuck out his warm tongue to sample the sleeping Jeremiah in his strange coat of milky spread. One lick and the Dragon, entranced, began furiously to eat all the butter. What does one do with a sleeping Dragon? This is the story of how the town solved this problem and in doing so invented the first steam locomotive.