A SINGLE BRACELET DOES NOT JINGLE

SEEKING WHO IS RIGHT FOR YOU Once you know who you are, and you are aware of how your experiences from conception to adulthood have resulted in the creation of your thoughts, beliefs, values, and behaviors, you have to know how to seek who is right for you as a love partner. If you have low self-esteem and believe that there is something wrong with you, you will accept a love partner who has low self-esteem. You may believe something is wrong with you when others tell you something is wrong with you. The “others” may be parents, family members, teachers, coaches, a religious/spiritual person, the images you see on TV-in the movies, in a magazine, or on the Internet. You may have been rejected by someone you liked, and that person may have called you ugly, stupid, or said you were a loser. The best way to assess yourself is to ask, “Are you healthy?” Signs of being healthy include feeling happy, doing good things for yourself and others, being kind towards people, animals, and nature. If you feel happy, when you hurt others-you are not healthy. You may think it is normal to be sad, all or most of the time. It is not normal to be sad, most, or all, of the time. We all experience sadness but when it lingers for hours, days, weeks, months, and years without a break, you are not experiencing normal sadness. If you are angry most of the time or you become angry over small incidents and you hold grudges, these are signs that you need to talk to a culturally responsive mental health professional who understands your ethnic/cultural background, religion/spirituality and your sexual orientation. We all get angry, from time-to-time, but the extent of your anger (what you do when you are angry), the length of the angry spell and whether-or-not you see a pattern of alcohol or drug use when you become angry are signs that you need help to address your feelings. If you feel nervous, angry, sad, confused, hurt, or just not interested in anything, most of the time—you need help. If you cannot focus, so that you start projects, but you never finish, or you cannot sit still, or you frequently make bad decisions, you need help from a culturally specific professional therapist who understands your racial/ethnic/cultural/religious/ experience. Everyone has moments of despair, loneliness, sadness, confusion, anger, emotional pain, or anxiety. It is normal to feel these emotions. They become problematic when they define you! When these emotions are a constant state of being for you, you need to seek help so that you can heal and not attract someone with similar life issues. How can you determine whether-or-not you need help? Do you keep selecting love partners who do not treat you the way you deserve to be treated? How can you determine whether-or-not someone is right for you? How do you know that it is time to end a relationship? How can you improve communications and build a stronger love relationship? These questions are answered in, A Single Bracelet Does Not Jingle.