Clearing the Land Mines of Marriage

About the Book

When couples marry, they usually have two expectations: (1) that their partner will completely take care of them, res-establishing the security of pre-verbal childhood, and (2) that their honeymoon relationship will last for-ever-after like a romantic fairytale.

Dr. Schwartz describes how marriage patterns become imprinted as part of a small child's basic belief system. To a baby, "This is the way a marriage should be!" These patterns are then transmitted to the next generation and become expectations when they marry as adults. Unaware, newlyweds struggle to determine which parental marriage will be recreated so they can feel secure. When security is threatened, their conflicts can be emotionally charged and severe.

Married partners usually use mature, rational methods to settle differences, but in a severe marital fight, they by-pass their adult capacities reverting to desperate, vicious fighting.

Dr. Schwartz shows why individually-focused and cognitive therapies are ineffective while systems therapy addresses the conflict between two inherited marital patterns. Treating the inherited, systemic causes of irrational behavior is crucial to solving severe marital conflicts. Many conflicts are illustrated, demonstrating how Gestalt systems therapy is effective. This book helps couples and counselors in understanding and resolving severe marital conflicts.

About the Author

Dr. Schwartz hsa taught at Professional Psychology schools in Chicago. He is Board Certified in Family Psychology, and has conducted post-graduate-training programs.

He was trained at the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland with Irving and Miriam Polster, Bill Warner and Cynthia Harris, and later at the Center for the Study of Intimate Systems with Sonia Nevis, Joseph Zinker, Carl Whitaker and Virginia Satir. He is a Supervisor for AAMFT, AAPC and an examiner in Family of the American Board of Professional Psychology.

He has worked for over 50 years as a Family Psychologist treating married couples and families. He has conducted research with 250 married couples. Dr. Schwartz has retired from clinical practice but continues to conduct Gestalt Training and clinical supervision.