What do you say to someone in an elevator?

This book could have been titled: “Uncomfortable, Embarrassing Moments,” or “Awkward Occasions,” or “A Guide for the Unbelievable Shy,” or “You Can Choose To Be Painfully Politically Correct and Shallow In All Social Situations.” It is not just about what to say to someone in an elevator. Rather it is about all of those awkward occasions in which we find ourselves at a loss for words. This is particularly difficult when we are in a time bind with only a few minutes, or in some cases a few seconds, to say something or do something to relieve the tension or bring humor to an otherwise awkward situation. Wakes, funerals, lineups, parking lots, public transits, taverns, hospitals, waiting rooms, airports, encountering the homeless, dealing with the handicapped, professors, clerks, civil servants that aren’t so civil, and the like all provide us with the opportunity to reach out and touch somebody in a human, caring way. It is my wish that by the end of this book all those who chose to read it will gain some insight into why these events are so difficult. We can also ask ourselves what we can do to bring some humor to these clumsy moments so as to make them more tolerable, and maybe even, more enjoyable to ourselves and others. We might even arrive at the day when we would not simply be ready to respond to these ungraceful moments but to actually anticipate and look forward to them. I wish! I have work worked and studied through the USA and Canada for over forty years and most of the stories told here are from my personal experience in awkward or embarrassing situations in too many communities to mention. The book is important because it deals with lost opportunities in life when we have the opportunity to reach out and touch others in situations that are often uncomfortable or awkward for most people. Judging from those who have read a draft copy it seems that everyone can relate to those situations. Hopefully what to say to someone in an elevator will have wide mass appeal to teenagers and seniors and all those people in-between. Here is a taste of what lies ahead for you. Street People or the Homeless When I think about “street people” it makes me think of how strange the English language is and how difficult it must be for people learning English as a second, third, or even fourth language. What I am talking about is how we use a word knowing full well that the way we are using it in no way conveys the exact or usual meaning of the word. Understanding the word as we are using it implies understand the culture of the situation in which it is being used. As a matter of fact it will often mean the exact opposite to its usual meaning. Referring to “street people” is a case in point. We all know that we are not referring to people who literally live on the street. They conduct their daily routine or business of existing on the sidewalk but may in fact reside elsewhere. They may or may not have a home or a regular place of shelter. They may sleep in doorways, in empty or abandoned buildings or in the park. It would be interesting if someone made a list of such words or phrases that we use to communicate the exact opposite of their usual meaning. The following is an actual example of a situation that happened to a friend of mine when she went off to university. Both her parents are university English professors and love to play on words. This was more than a few years ago and so in those days she was living in a girl’s only house or sorority on campus. When her parents went to visit her on the first long weekend she was away from home the conversation with the “den mother” went something like this. Den mother: We have a fine sorority here and the ‘girls’ are never allowed to socialize or visit in any part of the building except here in the public reception area. Any violations of any of the rules or code of conduct calls for immediate disciplinary action. Your daughter will always be safe here. Parents: Oh don’t worry. If you think we are concerned about who our daughter might be sleeping with, we couldn’t care less. We don’t care if our daughter is “sleeping around” or who our daughter might be “sleeping with”. Den mother: What! I am shocked. I don’t believe what I am hearing. You are taking this liberty thing too far. How can you raise your daughter that way? Parents: But you didn’t let us finish. We really don’t care who our daughter is “sleeping with”. However, we want to know who is going to bed with her and they are not sleeping. Those are the guys we worry about. How many other words or phrases can you think of that in a certain context or environment mean the exact opposite to their usual or literal meaning? I find one of the most awkward situations I am faced with occurs when I encounter people on the street who are looking for a donation of some sort. This seems to be especially true if I am in a large city. The best way I have found to deal with my clumsiness on these occasions is to prepare for them beforehand.