Shepherd among Wolves

The End, Or Is It The Beginning? Eph 1:7-12 7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace 8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, 9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth — in Him. 11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, 12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. NKJV 1 John 1:5-2:1 This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. NKJV As I look around my office, I realize that it has been five and a half years since I started serving behind these prison walls. As I start to reflect, I was startled by the sudden appearance of a large Hawaiian man standing in the doorway. He stands nearly six and a half feet tall, most of him muscle. As he enters my office I notice that sweat is accumulating on his brow. He doesn’t bother to wipe the sweat away, allowing it to fall into his eyes. His gaze is intense, full of determination. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that he is holding an object in his right hand. I break his gaze to get a better look at the object, which I soon identify as two sharp blades. He begins to move towards my desk. Sweat is now rolling off of my brow. He leans forward and says, “I know who you are and I know what you did.” He then drops the set of blades on top of the table and begins to back away. I started to flash back to my years in prison. He leaves the office just as suddenly as he appeared. As my eyes focus on the shears in front of me, I realize how much of my life has changed since I first entered the prison world. Despite the passing of nearly six years, I can still vividly recall my initial introduction to the prison world. As I walked in through a set of double doors, I was met by a guard. He then notified me that I would be given a body search. I remember feeling strange hands patting down my body to ensure that I did not have any contraband materials. They started off at the top of my head and proceeded down to my feet. This was only the first of four body searches that I would endure throughout my first day and every day thereafter. After the first body search, I was allowed to pass through the solid iron security door. I then entered the area that contained the prison cells. The heavy metal door closed behind me with a loud clang. I was now securely sealed in with murderers, thieves and rapists. The idea was horrifying at best. I grew nervous as I stared at the rows of bars that lay ahead of me. I’d never been in a prison before; I had no idea what to expect. Would the prisoners attempt to attack me as I walked past their cells? I took my first step and passed the first cell. I looked at the man inside, wondering what horrific crimes he had committed in order to be determined a danger to society. He looked back at me with a smile and simply said, “Hey”. This was certainly not what I was expecting. As I walked the line of cells, I received many greetings. In fact, the prisoners were actually courteous. When I passed a guard, I asked him why the inmates were so friendly. He yelled out to the other guard, “He asks why the inmates are so friendly”. The other guard yelled back, “They are all kiss ups, Chap”. In the coming month I found this statement to be true. The inmates started to request good behavior references from me for court. As I thought back, I saw my arrival at the prison on my first day. I entered the front gate in my car. As I entered, I was stopped and my car was put through a complete search from my front bumper to my rear bumper. If I only knew this was the easy search. As the guard checked between my seats, under my boxes of offices supplies, and removed all my items from my trunk, he carefully checked each item with a dog. Of course the engine was checked along with the underside of the car. The complete search would last thirty (30) minutes to one hour depending on the dog and guards’ break times. This would be a daily process to be looked forward to as much as a root canal. As they finished my car, I was given a space to park and was told to enter the small gate and prepare for my first full body search. This is an experience to be enjoyed and look forward to daily. After removing my wedding band and all other items, I was told to remove my jacket, shoes, and my hat. The uneasiness I felt in my stomach as the guard carefully moved his hands over my body would not go away with the coming years. I learned that if the guard was suspicious in any way he could request a strip search with the approval of the captain of the guards. After I finished a fifteen minute search of my body, I was allowed to step into the overpowering smell of cleaning fluids. I would find out later that the floors were mopped three times a day by the inmates to keep them busy. As I approached my first gate, I was overpowered by the size of the gate itself. The gate measured 7 ft. by 6 ft. wide, and it took a strong guard to move the gate. When I arrived at the gate, I was told to empty pockets and turn my pockets inside out and surrender all pens and pencils and face the nearest wall. The whole body search was gone through for another 15 minutes, and this process was to be gone through two more times before I reached my office. In case you have not kept time, so far I have spent one and a half hours in the search process and I have not reached my door. I would have to spend another one and half hours in searches. By the time I reached the 3rd gate I just emptied my pockets and stood against the wall. The guard came over and said, “Chaplain, that’s alright, you don’t have to be searched. You have reached your office.” I had finally reached the inner part of the prison some two hours later. As I turned in a circle to see my surroundings, I saw an open area to my left. This was the small exercise yard about 20 ft. by 20 ft. There were no flowers or grass, just dirt. To the right of me was the guard station and a long hall leading to my office. I was suddenly overpowered by a sense of helplessness realizing that it would take me at least another 30 minutes to get out of this prison, and that is without the going out searches. I was trapped in prison just like the inmates but I really was an innocent person in prison. I was able to spend one half hour in my office, then it was time for lunch. I received my meal of cooked pig and sat down with the rest of the staff and guards to eat. I had eaten three bites when I heard a scream of pain coming from the guard two chairs away. He had bitten into his pig and part of a needle had gone into the roof of his mouth. The guard was rushed to the hospital, and the whole prison was put into an immediate lockdown thinking an inmate who had prepared the meat might have put the needle into the food. The inmates were put into the main yard to be strip searched, and a full body search was started. This type of search was done with rubber gloves. It was not to protect from body sweats but body fluids.