Cheeseburgers in the Rose Room

About the Book

Two old ladies, Emily O'Neill and Sarah Williams, discover that their health can be markedly improved by sitting close to the Mars rocks on display in their city museum. When this news reaches the local media, many senior citizens with little to lose join them in their museum sit-in. Reports of miraculous cures attract a multitude of the sickly who camp out on the city streets and in public parks. The municipal authorities respond to the emergency by establishing a variety of relief programs manned by a corps of "Cosmos Legionnaires." Soon the city's population triples and pressure grows for access to more Mars rocks. Ingenious methods are developed for maximizing access to all available rocks as other cities across the country open up similar "Marsrock" centers. Emily and Sarah are hailed as champions of old people's rights and they quickly find themselves leading a national movement. Opposition to the Marsrock Movement comes from hospitals, clinics, the pharmaceutical industry, the A.M.A. and NASA. They deplore the Marsrock fever gripping the entire country and urge a return to sober, scientific rationalism. NASA attempts to recall all Mars rocks on loan but is met with vigorous resistance. Faced with government inertia in response to their repeated pleas for more Mars rocks, Emily and Sarah appeal directly to the White House. After some initial hesitation, the President recognizes the enormous vote-getting advantage to be gained by appeasing the country's senior citizens. He instructs NASA to release more rocks and to dedicate the next Mars mission exclusively to quarrying for additional supplies. The senior citizens' victory celebrations are short-lived when Emily inexplicably falls into a coma. All the miraculous claims attributed to the Mars rocks are now seriously compromised. The doubters assume a momentary ascendancy....until Emily, just as quickly, achieves a miraculous resurrection. The Marsrock Movement is re-energized And when it becomes clear that the next Mars probe will only bring back a token number of rocks, Emily organises a mass March on Washington. All efforts by the National Guard to stem the invasion of the nation's capital can not match the enormous determination of the six million marchers. By nimble, last-minute footwork, the President manages to convey the impression that his sympathies always lay with the Marsrock Movement. Emily and Sarah are afforded red-carpet treatment in the White House, and other important players in the Movement receive key appointments in the government's infrastructure. Congress allocates 28% of the national budget to senior citizens' programs. Their vital work now accomplished, Emily and Sarah can return home to the peace and quiet of a well-earned retirement.

About the Author

Jonathan York is currently on Death Row for the murder of his ex-wife and mother-in-law. Prior to his conviction, he was a distinguished professor of English Literature and Creative Writing. CHEESEBURGERS is his fifth and only published novel. The first four novels he discarded as trivia. CHEESEBURGERS was saved from a similar fate by the prison warden who came across it by chance and promoted its publication.