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About the Book

In this awkwardly-paced thriller the future has gone amuck. A Christian group terrorizes the west. Boy Scouts are listed as a subversive hate group. Whooping cranes come back with a vengeance and are eating the Ridley turtles. The poles shift and the North Pole ends up in Libya. U.S. capitalists seek political asylum in Russia. Most Americans are in a stupor from their implanted entertainment systems/GPS locators. NASA mistakenly uses centimetres instead of astronomical units in a major space program. Some outlaw Linton clones accidentally knock a hole in the fabric of time and space. Finally a war breaks out between computers that completely gridlocks all electronic communication.

Rapture comes but the massive amount of electronic noise interferes with the transmission so that most people are missed on the first try. What the future holds is unsettling and perhaps dangerously familiar! But in spite of all this, we still have the right to life, liberty and to file suit for unhappiness.

About the Author

Professor Philip Nathan Good is a profligate author, poet and philosopher who has written and published 32 books and sold almost 20 copies, of which three were not to family members. Phil N., as he is known, is erudite and learned in most subjects. He received his high school equivalency diploma after 16 years of hard work and constant harassment from teachers and students who were jealous of his brilliance. Demonstrating this is the fact that he only took eight weeks to get his BS, his MS and his Ph.D his particle physics. (His lifelong dream was to develop a stronger, lighter particleboard so that cheap furniture would last longer than two weeks and could be moved without breaking). Not only did he graduate; he did so with honors. He graduated cum loudly for his Bachelor's degree, magna cum laude for his Master's and summa cum lotto for his Ph.D. This was all done over the Internet from such prestigious schools as Sink Hole Institute of Technology, in Earthworm, Texas, Cayman Island's Wecon U and Casa del Pobre College in Nuevo Leone, Mexico. He often laughs at the foolishness of people who spend 10 to 12 years plus tens of thousands of dollars to get these same degrees. It took his eight weeks and $2000.00 to do the same thing. Ha, now who's the dummy? The remarkable aspect of his education was that his degrees all came while serving time in prison for a crime that he says was not his fault. He and others say the girl looked older than 12.

He became a preacher of the gospel while in prison and as a result of his behavior was paroled three years early. The most astounding thing happened: the inmates, the guards and the warden all signed a petition asking the parole board to please get him out of there as soon as possible. They felt he was needed much more on the outside. He remembers fondly the beautifully descriptive words the warden often used for him. He did not know exactly what egocentric pomposity meant but he felt sure it had a special meaning.

During his studies, physics was an area in which he excelled. His work in that field resulted in confirmation of and even improvements upon several theorems such as Newton's theory of gravity, Einstein's relativitiy theory and Heisenburg's uncertainty principle and of course, quantum theory. His early studies of Newton's work led him to spend days sitting under an apple tree where he not only confirmed Newton's theory but added to it. He found that gravity did not work all year. During winter, spring, and most of the summer nothing happened. However, in August and September, sure enough, apples began to fall.

He has had many discussions with Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, cousins etc. and has found for himself that relativity is even more complex than Einstein ever dreamed. Quantum physics was trickier though. He understood eaves and particles and spins. (He could relate to spin after watching elections). However, having something arrive before it was sent was difficult to grasp, but he went back to relativity and remembered how sometimes his in-laws would arrive before they were sent and it became easier to understand. The uncertainty principle is easy. Many people are uncertain of their principles. The author is not. He is always certain about his principles, as you will see. He is somewhat contemptuous of Heisenberg whom he feels must have been somewhat weak to not be certain of his principles. Mr. Good has sent in a treatise on all this to the Academy of Science at Cambridge and is waiting for a reply.

Another theory that Dr. Good has completely debunked is Darwin's Theory of Evolution, which maintains that man is the nadir of evolution, having descended from lower animals, which descended from amoebae. This implies that man is almost as intelligent as a dog or cat. This is decidedly not so! Dr. Good has recorded countless cases in which dogs and cats have clearly and completely outsmarted the humans that they own. As of yet Dr. good has not received the Nobel Prize for his work in this field, but believes it is only a matter of time.

As impressive as all those works are, Dr. Good's real genius is in his ability to manipulate words in such a way as to render them virtually meaningless. He has always been surprised at how easily something can be created that is totally useless. These capabilities have made him very valuable to his friends in the government. That factor and his meticulous study of Das Kapital, Mein Kampf and Chairman Mao's Little Red Book combine to make this book a remarkable study in peremptoriness. He once did a brilliant dissertation on Free Enterprise, exposing it as nothing more than an offshoot of Capitalism. On the other hand he found a multitude of unspecified and insignificant differences between Socialism and Communism. He started to read The Wealth of Nations but decided Adam Smith was just a penurious Scot who therefore knew nothing about how to spend money properly and to top that got a lot of his info from the French who just plain knew nothing. Besides, Smith must have been a WASP and therefore corrupt and unbending. We must acknowledge that Phil N. Good was at one time a WASP himself, or thought he was. However, after doing a family tree search, he discovered that he is 1/32 Chippewa and therefore not a total WASP. In fact, when people buy this book, he will change his name to Sitting Pretty.

There is one more important thing about the author. He is married to Shirley Good and they have two children, Vera and Noah. They have been a happy family all their lives. They attribute this to Dr. Good's loving, caring nature. He has never believed that a woman should be kept pregnant and barefooted, but has always kept his wife in abundant house shoes. As for children, they are the future and as such, must never be spanked or punished in any way. They should be given anything they ask for, even if you have to go into debt to provide it. After all, THEY ARE OUR CHILDREN! There is one thing, though, and that is, that God's belief in post-birth abortion until the child reaches 18. That is a woman's right! It is her body that carries the child and it is her body that continues to be deteriorated by the care of said children. The Goods are still thinking about that option for Noah, since he is only 14 and has caused quite a bit of wear and tear on both Dr. and Mrs. Good. Professor Good's purpose in writing this book is to bring into focus all those "enlightened" people like himself who have brought us to where we are today and made the world the place it has now become. In short, Dr. Good is a man of some substance, a man of culture. In other words, a man of some sub-culture. This is a true story that he invented. And it's about time!

It should be pointed out that Philip Nathan Good is a nom de plume, which I think is French for "a large column of smoke." Professor Good uses that name because he is hiding out from right-wing terrorists. He sometimes goes by Jim Hays, an alias that his parents gave him at birth.

The author humbly and respectfully declines to have his photo on this important book. He fears that his photo would cause so much excitement among the female readers that it might detract from the book's moment.