The Last Lie... I'm Not Listening Anymore
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Shattered
the ungrateful are always...
the unbearable...
the insensitive are always...
the intolerable.
and those who spout interminable excuses...
the inexcusable.
page 1
Goldilocks
i bought the biggest dining table i could find-
and surrounded it with dolls.
the real people didn't RSVP.
home isn't just a feeling.
it really is a place...
the one you ache for-
the one you see when you close your eyes-
the one that always felt like you belonged there-
the pictures were hung with double-sided tape.
i thought i was staying-
the paint ripped off in the move...
just like the skin around my soul.
page 22
Looking Back
not so long ago
your family was who you were,
and everyone knew you.
families are all broken and blended now.
they mean nothing...
except who they used to be.
page 44
"You Don't Have to Disbelieve Everything..."
secret lives-
everybody has one, right?
my life is a secret-
even from me.
just who were you?
did you ever say anything that was true?
there was a time
when memories were the antidote
to poisonous pain.
their familiarity was warm-
comfortable- comforting.
then they became strangers...
feelings- experiences
that couldn't possibly have ever existed...
then they became the enemy...
to be forced away
at all cost.
the memories were nothing but pain
and so excruciating...
they had become the poison.
page 55
What Good Is a Uterus Anyway
well, it's done.
no need for any more sequins.
no waiting to feel better.
not gonna happen.
it all feels scripted because it is.
stop believing all the people
who want you to think you're crazy.
i will miss you with every cell in my body.
the body that carried you,
cradled you,
protected you,
adored you,
ached for you,
and waited...
page 72
Dance With the Devil
can you picture the person you love?
now picture a black hole.
same thing...
the longer you listen to people
who define you and your life experiences,
the more you begin to wonder-
but not about yourself... about them.
that wary sense of unease
becomes like a second skin.
you can't shake it.
you can't seem to shake them, either.
they ignore you, berate you, snipe at you-
push you away at every opportunity-
but they won't leave you alone.
their ultimate goal?
power, over you.
this dance is the dance of death.
take a seat.
there's no music, anyway.
if they can't get you up on the floor,
they'll steal the closest thing to you.
don't look... don't listen...
love, hate, fear... all the same to them.
just power... to cover their nothingness.
page 102
So...
you wear the guilt.
i wear the pain.
doesn't seem to suit either one of us.
the most confounding piece of anatomy...
empty arms
i miss you in my thoughts.
my hands miss you.
my eyes are all but closed against your absence.
my heart is empty. nothing touches it for long.
i miss you in my bones.
i thought we had forever.
we promised forever.
it felt like forever-
until it became only a moment.
i only acknowledge love now
inside my head,
in the dark,
to my faithful bear.
page 139
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Have you ever studied the requirements and qualifications for the position of Turkey Eviscerator Supervisor? Probably not. They are quite specific and complex. Too bad we don't have to measure up to such high standards in our own journey through life. We just muddle and struggle as best we can and try not to get too bogged down in all the extraneous details and assessments thrown at us daily. The obstacles to actual thought and introspection are everywhere. People park at the curb to run inside a bookstore and make their purchase.
No time to wander and wonder in the atmosphere of the establishment. No time to stop. The Last Lie… I'm Not Listening Anymore is a chance to slow down, and come to a complete stop, if necessary. Savor the life experiences. Unearth the feelings. Some are soft and sentimental. Some have edges so sharp they cut like carving knives. Many images, both real and imaginary, will peck at your consciousness. Some may even demand your attention as a squalling child might. Hopefully the enormity of love and the gargantuan expression of its loss and subsequent pain will awaken some response in you. I do believe a stuffed turkey is an excellent metaphor for life. So… let's gut this bird and see what spills out! Something warm and tasty – Something truly foul. (You may even smile occasionally!) Dig in… and don't choke. I hope you'll want to come back for seconds. Bon Appetit!
About the Author
Born in 1950 and blessed with a love of books, I was raised to think. College taught me to search for the truth in people, politics, religion, and myself. Many people's lives are so tangled by external perceptions that their true feelings and experiences become lost. Suppose you could regurgitate your confusion. Some clarity might emerge. That's all I've ever wanted.