For My Son Christopher

About the Book

I write this account as a therapeutic exercise, because it is my nature to write, and because it will probably be the only recognition, outside of heaven, that Chris will ever have.

Death has never been my enemy. I understand about the nature of physical death and normally handle such losses very well. To my surprise, after so many previous experiences, now is the first time this very personal kind of loss has evoked in me such intense emotional responses. Since his young childhood there have always been long gaps in my day-to-day contact with Chris. I have never been a possessive mother. Yet I am swinging with bi-polar regularity between a joyful love and gratitude for his present release and a deep sadness that such a powerfully important piece of my life is gone and will not return.

Since his death, of course, Chris's damaged brain has been left behind and he is completely healed. What I can "hear" is censored, as is usually the case, by what I am allowed and need to know and by my own usual fears and doubts. However, I am warmly conscious of his presence as he faithfully accompanies me out to breakfast every morning. Some of our best conversation were in the secluded corners of restaurants during the final days when he was insane, starving and next door to homeless. Now he tells me that it does not distract him from his ongoing life to be with me so often, as he is able to bi-locate, and that he will help me in this way until I no longer need it.

About the Author

Della Gardella is a senior citizen who is widowed and currently living with her young granddaughter a few miles outside of Albuquerque. She is a housewife and has lived in New Mexico for most of her life. She is the author of two books previously published by Trafford: A String of Pearls, two long prose poems - and A Field of Daisies, a selection of shorter verses.