My Mother's Story, My Story, Our Story

About the Book

Good people always die young. I am not sure why this is; maybe so that they live on forever young. A very strict religious background did not prepare me for so many things.

I lived for many years not caring to be a Christian because it brought me nothing but pain. I was totally honest, open and truthful. Many line managers used this to almost destroy me in my many roles in the National Health Service. I hide behind many faces and I have hidden in a half white and half black Church of England Church but I miss the spirituality of my Black majority church and the connectiveness we had.

I believed that all people are good and so my trusting disposition brought more pain than one could bear and I learnt many lessons. In terms of relationships, I believe if you have a partner who is not true to you, you should leave them or let them leave you. If you can keep in touch and learn to be friends but not enemies if you have children this would be good. You should love your partner conditionally and your children unconditionally. Turning fifty is a landmark in my life and I will now live like never before.

Being a Black British African Caribbean person is a journey in itself. After fifty years I am just about to be the real person I am and for my children's sake this story must be told. They did not get to know grand parents on either side. My husband's parents died young. Gaston's mother from a stroke and his father died alone after going into a diabetic coma.

My mother you will have to read, my father died an old man with a replacement family in the house my mother died in. Tragedy can destroy a family or bring them together, you can judge if that is the case.

About the Author

I was born and grew up in Camberwell, London. I am the eldest of seven children. I trained as a mental health nurse and did my general training in 1981. Worked at Bromley Hospital many years in a variety of roles at King's College Hospital until I left to work at Lewisham Hospital as a Clinical Grade 1 Accident and Emergency Nurse Manager. I left and went to teaching at south Bank University for seven years as l was disenchanted with the National Health Service (NHS) and a real 9-5 job was very attractive. I worked up to director of mental health diploma studies. I also had my first child Joanna.

Whilst I was out of the NHS I was able to get a Non Executive Director position with the Lambeth, Southwark and Lewisham Health Authority and worked with North Southwark setting up partnerships and other vital services in the Primary Care Groups. When the Health Authorities were disestablished I was appointed as Non Executive Director for Lewisham Primary Care Trust. I worked with many different Ministers but what drew me back to the NHS was a belief that Primary Care Trusts would reduce inequalities by delivering services that were relevant and culturally sensitive to the local communities needs.

The assessments, interviews and appointments of Chief Executives and Directors that I was involved gave me an insight to know and believe that I was as good as them in terms of qualifications. Often mine were better and I had so much more experience, the only difference was that I was Black. With New Labour I thought I had a good chance to make a difference in Lambeth and to aspire to Director or even Chief Executive of an NHS Trust. Lambeth was the only territory in my working world I had not conquered.