Hope Through Compassion and Despair

About the Book

Hope through Compassion and Despair takes the reader through a mother's personal journey with her son's bipolar condition as she establishes the importance of the role of advocate in supporting those who struggle with mental illness. The author describes how mental illness lurked in the background during the early years of her son's life only to become a dominant force when he entered puberty. Chapters I through 4 describe the subtle signs of "something wrong" and the terrifying realization that "the monster within" would control over and over again her son's efforts to lead a normal and stable life.

The author outlines to the reader the classic symptoms of bipolar affective disorder (manic-depression) and points out how these symptoms, present from birth, became more pronounced as time went on. She struggled with her own emotions of guilt and disappointment through her divorce and helps the reader understand that one must get past their personal struggles if they are going to assist others to cope with such a devastating disease. The difficulties of being a single parent, while recognizing that her son was exhibiting unusual behavior, did not stop her determination to support and care for her children, and her subsequent remarriage to an accepting, understanding and caring man with his two children gave her much needed support to cope with her son's breakdowns and frequent hospitalizations over several years.

This is a heroic story about a mother and son who, together, try to understand and fight the recurrence of mania and depression, while at the same time they organized and facilitated for 5 years a support group for others who were isolated and alone. During many visits to the psychiatric wards the author learned to understand the rules and regulations of hospital services as well as cooperate with, rather than alienate, the mental health staff. Chapter 5, Stick Handling the Psychiatric Ward, gives the reader practical tips on how to "relate to the staff" in the role of advocate, such that the person they are visiting feels protected and supported in an environment where they otherwise feel powerless and alone. Chapter 6, Our son Reaches Out shows how the author's son tried so hard over and over again to reach out to his family and others for assistance, even when he was heading in to full-blown psychosis or spiraling down to the darkness of depression. Chapter 7, Letting Go, assists the reader to understand the importance of taking care of oneself while care giving for others, no matter how difficult that may seem to be for the supporter.

The author moves from her personal experience and observations to devising a "self-help" approach in Chapter 8, The Role of Supporter as Advocate. She systematically describes Six Steps to Support necessary to access Education, Community Health Care, Social Services, and Employment Services. Each step points out that one must Assess Required Services, Understand Bureaucracy, Document and Compare Available Services, Network with Service Providers, Reconnect with Persons with Mental Illness, and Follow-Up with evaluations and regular contact with service providers.

The Six Steps to Support are applied to community and employment services in such a way that the reader finishes the book with a practical guide on how to be an effective advocate.

Chapter 9, Hearing the Silent Voices provides the reader with lists and description of many services available on a local, provincial, national, and international basis. The author gives practical, positive suggestions to advocates that will help them increase public awareness of mental illness, and assist society in recognizing that ongoing support services must be an integral part of public social programs.

Chapter 10, Through the Eyes of My Son, an honest and touching summary of her son's illness, is written by her son, Brent. He offers advice to others suffering from mental illness and recalls his own journey of pain and suffering. His courage is evident when he states: "Could it be that during the most difficult times of a person's life there is nothing or little that anyone can do other than be a good listener and pray that it won't take too long before the severe depression passes? There are simple steps that I take to try and prevent further episodes: exercise, eating properly, regular sleeping patterns, taking medications daily, and time with family and friends". Brent has a strong faith and believes that "God's presence gives me hope that somehow I will eventually have this condition under control and experience a higher quality of life".

The author, in her last chapter (11), Hope through compassion and despair, relates heartwarming stories of other parents and advocates who have shown unconditional love and support to others coping with disabilities. Their insights, suggestions, and strong determination go a long way to reducing the stigma of mental illness.

The author's personal account of her journey through her son's mental illness and its application to Six Steps to Support for Advocates provides the reader with a meaningful and practical guide on how to be an effective supporter. This book is an inspiration to those who want to be advocates but weren't sure how to get started. Its detailed description of programs and services currently available, as well as those in the process of being created, can give us all hope that the quality of life will be improved for persons with mental illness.

About the Author

Renee Poley has spent most of her life involved in community development, peace education, and union activism. Her dedication to understanding and supporting persons with disabilities began in her early twenties when she realized that her first born, Brent, was developing in a different way from other children. It wasn't until he reached adolescence that more pronounced symptoms showing "something was terribly wrong" became evident. As the author struggled to understand her son's turmoil and emotional upheaval she consulted with medical and community mental health specialists, only to discover that little was known and/or spoken about mental illness.

The author's journey through her son's personal pain and agony not only describes common symptoms of mental illness but guides the reader through a practical approach to accessing educational, medical, community social services, and employment services for those struggling with mental illness. The author's tireless pursuit of justice and dignity for all is an inspiration to others who find themselves searching for ways to lobby for increased public services for persons with disabilities.

Renee Poley currently resides in Langley, B.C. with her husband, Bob and her mother, Catherine. She appreciates spending time with their children and grandchildren, playing bass clarinet in Langley Concert Band, and singing alto in Langley Community Chorus. Other interests include growing organic food and flowers, taking French courses, reading fiction and non-fiction literature, and participating in walk/run charity events with her husband and friends. Renee and her son, Brent, often go to movies together. They are relentless B.C. Lions football fans, and enjoy attending home games each season.