A Soldiers Mask

"I have always wondered what may have gone through the mind of William Shakespeare when he wrote the short phrase for MacBeth: Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. Was this what I had become? Had I become a crusader for the weak? Had I fooled myself into believing that what I was trying to do was going to change everything? Could I ever be given credit for anything that I had done for others, something that was meant to see some poor soul through the day and feel as if they were blessed for having been understood or forgiven for their indiscretions? Or was I just kidding myself with hopes and dreams that would indeed be full of sound and fury, to later realize that my work and conviction towards the ways of good for all, had been torn apart by those who would camouflage themselves as leaders, tall trees that towered over us but would bend to the ground with the slightest breeze for fear of being knocked over if they stood strong. Never had the words from this small quote, which had been revealed to me in high school through the wonderfully written MacBeth and the brilliant insight and knowledge of my English teacher, now come so clear. I felt a little like MacBeth when he was finally able to understand the prediction of the three witches when they said he would never be overthrown until 'Birnam Wood moves to Dunsinane'. I could now understand that there were many in my past that had worked against me using clever deceptions and false support to disguise their true motives. I had tried so hard to watch out for others, that I had forgotten to take care of myself as well. It should be stated that my English teacher had once told me I could probably make a living at this writing talent that she thought I possessed and since that day in school, I had wanted to write a story that would change me and the way I viewed the world. It is difficult to do when there isn't enough background to allow for interest to build and it would be a torment for me to find it being used as a coffee coaster or something along those lines. But God works in mysterious ways and it was around January of 2006 that I would begin to feel the familiar grip that Major Depression can have on people."