First Aid for the Betrayed

About the Book

"This writing is extraordinary and unique. First, because it was written by a man whose wife had an affair. Most first-person writing about affairs has been from women. It contains some of the rawest honesty about the pain of an affair that I have ever read. It provides a great deal of hard-earned wisdom about the whole issue of affairs, particularly in healing from the devastation. I highly recommend this book to anyone who truly wants to know what it's like to deal with a spouse's affair - and to learn practical ways to recover and heal."

Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth

Written over a period of two years and based on his personal experience and those of over 100 others who have suffered the betrayal of a partner's adultery, the author has captured the essence of the pain, anguish and inestimable psychological effects of a partner's affair.

From his own struggle to survive and recover, the author shares with those who are trying to recover, suggestions for survival, recovery and ways to deal with the many adverse personal effects of betrayal. Self esteem, trust, anger, depression, obsessing and more are all looked at and the reader is provided with practical suggestions for overcoming these issues.

Readers and other authors have praised the work for its straightforward and simple approach. The author has taken the subject out of the theoretical and gets down to earth with reality, personal understanding and insights gained through experience that only those who have "been there" could ever know.

"I have just finished reading your book. I'm really impressed and emotionally stirred. It is a great book and I believe it will help many people I thought the book was brilliant, and probably one of  the most helpful resources that can fall into the hands of a betrayed spouse."

Anne Bercht, author of My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me and host of www.Beyondaffairs.com

What some readers have said about First Aid for the Betrayed:

"I bought the book a few hours after I got the "news" (it) kept me sane. I have a feeling I will refer to it often."

"I just bought your book. I am so grateful for it. I am only just beginning to read it and it is, finally, something that captures the pain, horror and fury of learning of an affair."   "Thanks for the book. It's changed my life and made this day so that it wasn't a complete emotional disaster for me. (It) has meant the world to me. Honest to God, your book is saving me."

"I am unable to put into words how you have helped me. 48 hours ago I was floundering, now I can see a lifeboat in the distance."

You wrote an excellent book. It is well laid out and (easy) to read. You have some very good additional practical suggestions for dealing with anger and obsessive thoughts that were helpful to me."

This book is especially written for those in the first few weeks after discovery of a partner's affair and is designed to resuscitate them from the shock and devastation that they face. It truly is an emergency that requires "first aid" to stop the emotional bleeding and the heartbreak that follows discovery. Professional counselors will find this book a helpful adjunct to their therapy.

Note: First Aid for the Betrayed contains explicit language and sexual situations taken from the author's journal written during his own struggle to recover from a spouse's affair.

About the Author

A native of the Midwest, Richard Alan has lived in the South for the last 32 years. Mr. Alan spent thirty-six years as an executive in the ground and air transportation sector and has written a number of management training programs that are still in use. He has been a contract trainer for several prestigious training firms.

A music history major, he is a published writer of over 100 articles on American popular music history and has played violin with a community orchestra in his home town. He is president of a non-profit organization for the preservation of American popular music.

Mr. Alan has spent over two years coordinating a support group for betrayed spouses and has personally seen and helped over one hundred men and women who have suffered the devastating effects of an affair. Through his own struggle and that  of his group members, Alan has learned from personal experience how to deal with the long-term effects of affairs and more importantly, practical ways to recover.