Life is Pants

About the Book

A hilariously funny (and little bit naughty) tale of a London girl's frenzied attempts to hang onto her sanity, her man and any job at all in modern-day Hong Kong. Emily Green has a pear-shaped figure and life. Her weaknesses (mainly pizza and receiving head) outweigh her strengths (none, unless eating three Cadbury's Cream Eggs back to back without feeling sick counts). But when Emily finds herself leaving behind her family of headcases, venturing beyond Zone 2 of the London Underground and heading for mysterious Hong Kong with her boyfriend James, she can only hope that travelling half way round the world will bring about a change of fortune. Will Emily and James survive the culture shock? Will their relationship last? Or will Emily involuntarily embed an axe in James's head (ultimate closure) for being about as useful as a chocolate teapot? One thing she'll tell you (and quite frankly, there isn't a lot she holds back) is that even when life keeps hurling poo at you thereÕs just no point in ducking or wiping yourself down because there's always plenty more where that came from.

What readers are saying about "Life is Pants":

"We were in stitches reading this book!"
- Marie and Sarah, Publishers (Ella: what kind of job is that? lolling around reading books all day!)

"God this story made me laugh, hilarious! I've read a lot of chick lit books and this is up there with the best of them. I loved it. Brilliant!"
- Jodie, Jeweller (Ella: dream job or what!)

"I love this book! It had me rolling round the room laughing! I want the before book and after book - please hurry up and write them!"
- Sallyann, Nanny (Ella: job from hell or what!)

"Your book really made me chuckle. What a sense of humour! A great piece of writing."
- Kellie, English Teacher (Ella: oh detentions and writing lines, those were the good old bad days!)

"Surprisingly bloody good considering you wrote it."
- Luke (Ella's little brother)

About the Author

Ella Sherbet was raised in poverty and remains in poverty. She had an unhappy childhood, teenage years, twenties, and is still unhappy.

Ella is very modest about her achievements (with good reason). Although she showed signs of excellence at an early age, winning the egg and spoon race on her school sports day at the tender age of eight, sadly she has been unable to sustain such memorable achievements and has done nothing of note since.

Ella worked hard in her attempt to gain a first-class honours degree (not in English, as you'll soon find out), going so far as to offer to sleep with her year tutor to achieve this. Unfortunately she failed to make the grade (he turned her down).

Ella has been sacked from every job she has ever had, fallen out with most people she's ever met, and been useless at everything she's turned her hand to. Ella is currently unemployed (correction, unemployable).

Ella has been having counselling for most of her life, and very recently made some headway identifying a suitable career path, pinpointing the need to work in solitary confinement. She is now studying to become a Beekeeper.

This is Ella's first (and probably last) novel. It has been highly acclaimed (by her best mate who called it "a work of fart" and who owes her fifty quid and a family-size pack of Maltesers).