Forever the Fat Kid

My perspective on life with regards to my racial identity was often in direct conflict with the points of view I had related to my sexuality. These contradictions always led me–or should I say, forced me–to seriously consider my thoughts and actions, as opposed to simply doing what everyone else did. I had no one to follow, knew of no one like me to turn to for guidance; I had no role models. I started thinking outside the box at an early age, mainly because my box wasn’t as neatly constructed as the boxes of those around me. Though initially quite scary, I soon came to appreciate the things that made me different during my adolescence, a time when fitting in was so important yet, for me, so out of reach. I became more adept at self-examination and, as a result, better equipped to find a balance between the many facets of myself. This is not to say that the grown-up me doesn’t still carry traces of the war wounds from that particular time of my life.