Dating Basics 101

Table Of Contents Preface: How this book was created Chapter one: This Book Above All Others Chapter Two: Cognitive Appraisals and You Chapter Three: How to Have and Show the Right Attitude Chapter Four: Cognitive Appraisals and You, Part Two Chapter Five: What to Say and How to Say It Chapter Six: The Keys to the Kingdom: Communication Chapter Seven: Pick up Facts, tips and Tactics Chapter Eight: Making the Date Chapter Nine: Planting the Seeds of Love and Lust. Chapter Ten: How to go about the Actual Date Chapter Eleven: How to Make Out Chapter Twelve: Romance Chapter Thirteen: Cheating Chapter Fourteen: Specialty Topics of Interest Chapter Fifteen: Putting it all together Example of one method on how to ask for a date: “Perhaps the best way to ask a girl out on a date is to do it right then and there. Typically I go for a quick 15 to 30 minute coffee (or whatever is close by) “date” the first time. This way you are not asking for a big time commitment from them. It’s like a “min-date” to get to know one another and requires less time and commitment for them. Spending a little bit of time on the spot is not such a big deal to ladies. It’s a bigger deal if she has to take time to get dressed up and take time out of her day to plan on going out with you. A girl is a lot more likely to say yes to a mini-date after you meet her than to a full on date. It’s after the mini-date you want to ask for the full on date that would last a few hours. When you ask for an actual date, never ask them out for a first date on Friday or Saturday. Those are major days that she probably has plans on. In truth, in a girls mind those are days that you should be busy too at least when you first meet. Shoot for a weeknight instead. She’s in to you or she’s not. Move on if she’s not interested in the mini-date or willing to meet up with you later. If you do get her number, some people would recommend holding off for a few days to a week before calling and asking for any kind of a date. Social dating rules advocate this and both work. Just looking at the odds and human factors it does seem your odds of success go up by asking for a mini-date first.” Free preview of chapter writing: “When it comes to dating understanding human nature helps. It may help you to know that most guys are too shy, too afraid of rejection, too scared, and too unsure of what to do and say to approach a very attractive woman. Other men also assume that because a woman is so attractive that she must be high maintenance or at least have a boyfriend and as a result those very attractive ladies don’t get hit up on by other men as much as you would think. This means even if you think you’re a fat and ugly guy still have a good to fair chance of getting an incredible physically attractive girl! Remember it is human nature to want to be loved and to be with others and if she is not getting love and attention from other men (for all the reasons and more that I listed already) then you will do just fine.” Example one book technique: Guided imagery is a psychology technique developed believe it or not via the meditation practices from the orient. When most guys think about going up to a girl we think about what we are going to say and how she will respond in advance. Its normal for us to think a few moves ahead but you should never picture yourself going up to someone and hitting it off right away with someone, while you say all the right things as if you were a ghost looking at or out of your own body and watching a play or a movie. Doing this sets you up for failure because your outside of your body and looking at a “display case” of how you hope it will go and how you hope you will feel. When you’re in the moment talking to a lady you are in your body not outside of it! The result is often feelings of nervousness and feeling improperly prepared. This could greatly undermine your efforts. What you should do is put yourself in your body and imagine what’s going to happen though your own eyes. Think of this as a first person view mode like in one of those many popular video games. How are you going to feel, what sounds are around you? What are you going to say and how will you say it. More importantly how will she respond? Using this kind of mentally guided imagery is one very big reason for success with women because before anything even happens you are planning out your moves just like in chess. As any good philosopher will tell you if you imagine success you will likely get it. Its concept called self-fulfilling prophecy. You get the results you expect. Example of one in book assignments: Homework Assignment Number Two Practice the alphabet or some movie line that you like in a mean aggressive voice once and then in your most warm and friendly voice next. You will need to practice once a day five minutes each day for a week or more if you feel you need it. I prefer the alphabet because that way you say every letter using a friendly tone and I think this will come out in your speech more. Then, pretend as if you are talking to your favorite pet or childhood friend in that warm and friendly voice for 5 minutes. This will help you to convey a sense of warmth, comfort, and friendliness to people you talk to. This is done because no matter what you say, your tone and body posture convey most of your message. It’s that old saying “It’s not what you say it’s how you say it.” When you have the correct tone of voice people are more likely to instantly bond with you and this creates the added benefit of helping you to put yourself in a mentally relaxed state of mind when speaking to someone. The result is your perceived more positively by others and you will have more confidence and reduced anxiety when speaking to people.” Example of chapter layout and romantic ideas: Chapter Twelve Romance How to be Romantic Ah, romance, just what is it and how is it achieved? In order to be romantic you need not give flowers or chocolates or plan some special event on some special day. Being romantic is something you can do at virtually any time or any place. It’s true what some women find romantic varies from one to another but how they like to be treated is not really any different from you or me. What follows are some options for being romantic. Prepare breakfast in bed: It helps if you don’t burn it but is more the thought that counts. When they are in the shower: Join them. Just be sure to let them have the majority of the hot water. Write a note of love on the steamy bathroom mirror. Write a love note and slip it in her purse: You can also call or send an e-mail saying something simple like; “I love you” OR “I can’t stop thinking of you” OR “just thinking of you.” Whatever you want to say just be sure to keep it short and meaningful. Do not include any things you need her to pick up from the store or other thing that are off topic. The magic mirror: Women love to look at themselves in the mirror making this ideal because it implants a mental image in their head of the two of you but even with out the mirror it can be romantic….Hug her from behind gently Examples of where to go on dates: “Depending on your budget you could go all out or be cheap and go some place inexpensive or perhaps a little bit of both for a date. I like balance and a middle of the path approach. It shows that your not broke but that your not the kind of person that needs money to have fun. You pick for yourself but here are some places to go and things to do on a date that are typically best. Dinner and or a Movie: Dinner and a movie deserve special attention here. Somehow dinner and a movie became socially accepted as a standard first date. I advise avoiding dinner for the first date. Possibly even the second. I have two reasons for this. First, a lot of guys are going to offer dinner and or a movie for a first date with a girl. Remember you want to be different from other guys and stand out! Se