Journeys of the Mind

The Runaway Computer:

Ethel was invited to a special introspection group that Willy had organized. It consisted of the English couple, Willy and Ethel, and four of the monks. They were talking about the beginning and ending of life, creation and death, the alpha and omega of existence. Ethel knew that this was the third of the great truths she was destined to learn. The head monk distributed two small crystals to each of the eight participants and told them to hold one in each hand.

“Now, as you look into the crystal in your left hand, I want you to think of the earliest memory you have -- the very first feelings or thoughts or dreams you can remember.” All of them concentrated on their crystals and reached back into the furthest depths of their memories. Ethel couldn’t focus on anything at first; the crystal lay lifeless in her hand. But gradually she saw the sea merging with the sky in a brilliant blue, broken only by a myriad of stars. An intense feeling of love enveloped her. Was it the waters of her mother’s womb? Or something that pre-existed even before the womb? She didn’t know -- she could only feel the comfort and warmth of that love.

“And now I want you to concentrate on the crystal in your right hand. It is the last thought you will have, the last feeling you will experience when you die. You cannot predict what it will be -- give yourselves freely to the power of the crystal and you will know what the end will bring.” Ethel forced her mind and body to relax to the soothing sing-song rhythm of the monk’s voice. Gradually again, the blue sea-sky of darkness was illuminated by the stars of her inner crystal. A warmth suffused her body and the presence of love surrounded her spirit.

The same, she thought -- it’s all the same. That’s the answer to all three truths: belief uses science to prove itself, but science must rely on faith when it ventures beyond the realm of proof; the reality of our essence is found not only in our consciousness, but also in our dreams, in both our body and our spirit; and the beginning and the end are also the same -- the presence of an everlasting love that was there at our beginning and will prevail beyond our end.<\i>

The Doppelganger:

“Willy!” Ethel’s shout echoed from the cavernous walls of the Great Hall of the People where she saw him seated across the room. He was embedded in one of the over-stuffed chairs that had been pulled together with two others in a conversational grouping. Next to him sat a middle-aged lady with a briefcase on her lap. She looked a lot like Ethel. No – not just “a lot” – she looked exactly like Ethel!

“Come here, Ethel. I want you to meet someone.” He stood. “Ethel, meet Ethel.”

Two hours later they said goodbye. In parting, her doppelganger tried to sum up the gist of her lengthy explanation. “As I said earlier, all humans have doppelgangers or doubles who will occasionally appear in their lives in order to attend some event or live out some occasion that they would otherwise not be able to experience. That’s how it was with so many of your adventures – Tibet, the terrorist attack on 9/11, the Indians in the diorama – all of them. And it was the same thing with the Olympics. You see, you had really wanted to attend the games so badly that your subconscious mind had to find a way to get you there. If not in person – that is, if not in your regular, ordinary, everyday body – then in some other way. That’s where I came in.”

During their two hours together, Ethel had peppered her with questions. But, as was the case so often with Willy, each answer raised another question of its own. Finally, after her doppelganger’s summary of what had happened, Ethel tried to explain her own continuing frustration: “What I really want to know is whether you exist as a kind of alternate me – separate in a way, but yet existing in a sort of parallel life? Do I – or will I – experience everything you experience? And how does all this relate to time as we know it? Did your experiences at the Olympics occur at the actual time of the games and why did I only learn about my supposed presence there after they were all over?”

She paused for breath. “And most of all, which is real? I mean, was I the real Ethel back in Madison, just hearing about these things from my cousin, my neighbor and Dr. Janz? Or was – is the ‘real Ethel’ you -- my doppelganger?”

At that point the doppelganger rose, smiled at them both, and said softly, “Ethel, we’re both real, aren’t we? And now, I have to leave.” She took Ethel’s hand in hers as she continued, “We will meet again, I’m sure. But for now, I have told you all that I can.” She nodded her head toward Willy. “Maybe Willy can explain some of the rest.” She took her briefcase and walked quickly to the nearest exit. When Ethel tried to follow to thank her, she was gone.

Two days later, Ethel and Willy met for coffee once again at the little shop across from the UW library in Madison. “But why hadn’t I met – seen – her before? At other times, I remembered my experiences either as dreams I had had or as some kind of subconscious state of mind in which I existed for a short period of time. Now, that you and she have told me, of course, I do remember flying to Beijing with Tien Zhang, attending the Olympics concluding ceremony, and running from that explosion in Tienanmen Square. But I remember it as if it were happening to someone else. As if I were there, watching it all, but not really experiencing it.” She shook her head and sighed, “Does that make sense, Willy? Does any of it make sense? What do you think?”

He smiled as he patted her hand – not the condescending smile he sometimes had, but an understanding one. “Yes, Ethel. It does make sense. You just have to keep opening up that mind of yours – let it expand a bit. You’ve come a long way, you know. You really have. Not everyone could handle this doppelganger idea – or even the other experiences you’ve had in the last couple of years.” He sipped the last of his coffee and rose to leave.

“As for what I think, I believe that we all have doppelgangers out there – some are mere images of ourselves who mirror our lives, while others lead their own separate lives as parallel experiences. Not too many of us can see these doppelgangers, but when we do, they can enrich our existence and sometimes even give us guidance along the way. So, I wouldn’t fret the details, Ethel. After all, she did say she’d be seeing you again.”<\i>