Folie A Deux

Fear is the underlying element rocking the equator of the world; it is not love nor it is the will to live, thought Calista. The fear of deprivation of all kinds is what life revolves around. The stamina she has forsaken for the physical illness session to end has proved her the power of her embedding fear of death. The only good news about death is that it is impersonal and objective; no one can buy his route out of it, not through kind words, begging or even selling one’s soul. In that lies the bad news, it is inevitable. But Calista’s genuine fear is not actually Death, because she has an indisputable feeling that she will find the chance along the road of life to reconcile with death, to accept it and embrace it. The one fear that she has not been able to comprehend or flee is insanity. Being very much fond of the grandeur of her mind, of the effort she has undergone for the nurturing and preservation of it, she feels very aware of the fear of losing it or at least of the importance of maintaining its well-being. The rollercoaster she has enjoyed to ride and loose her mind to have proved more valuable than she ever suspected. She became to think that maybe she was living in a different dimension of the world; of a substitute world she favored. The freedom she was seeking has been jeopardized seriously by the physical ailment she suffered and by the life of numbness and surprise. She became short tolerant on it all. Fly high then downfall; pulling the pieces together and then breaking up the painfully built edifice with frustration.