THERE'S HOPE

It was the kind of night that invited the unusual to happen. The air was warm and balmy, with hardly a breath of wind stirring and high in a starry, cloudless sky a thin crescent moon created just enough light for the trees to shadow in the velvety blackness. Janine Jordan stood on her upstairs lanai gazing into the darkness below, deeply engrossed in her thoughts. She was forty seven, a widow of barely a year with three grown sons. Cal, the oldest was twenty seven and faced two more years of internship before earning his M.D. Brian, twenty two, was studying physics while Marty, just barely twenty, was still debating about a career. Cal and Brian were both married and settled in homes of their own, but she could never keep track of Marty who was off somewhere in Europe studying art. She’d only recently become aware of how lonesome this big old house was without the family. Looking back on her life, the long uphill climb seemed to have consumed all her energies from the time she first drew breath and she wondered if it was all worth it. Nothing came easy, two steps forward and one, (sometimes two), back. She’d been sure all that had changed when she sold her first book five years ago and hit pay dirt. From that time until about a year and a half ago she and Tom had accumulated all they’d been reaching for - then everything started falling apart. First came Tom’s accident. Then after several months of recuperation, his unexpected and shocking death. She sighed and inhaled a deep breath of cool night air, memories crowding in around her. How proud and happy Tom was when Cal and Nancy were married, not a bit apprehensive that Cal might not complete his education, might not become the doctor he’d always wanted to be. He had complete faith that Cal wouldn’t deviate from the path he’d set himself, a faith that proved justified. Unhappily Tom was not to see his second son married because his death just three weeks prior to the ceremony had caused a black poll which dampened what, otherwise, should have been a festive occasion. Since preparations were already in progress and invitations sent, she wouldn’t hear of Brian and Val postponing. With the funeral barely over, Janine was faced with having to attend Val’s shower, then hosting a bachelor dinner for Brian in Tom’s place. She didn’t actually attend the dinner, only prepared it for Brian and his pals. Val’s parents had gone all out for their daughter and the ensuing gala affair should have been a joyous occasion for Janine. Actually it had helped alleviate some of her pain, particularly as she witnessed the undisguised happiness of her son and daughter-in-law. Yet now, months later with everyone gone, the pain and loneliness refused to let go. Nights were the worst, especially this night, she thought, as she once more became aware of her surroundings, noticing again how quiet and deadly still everything was, an almost eerie stillness, both inside the house and out. She shivered a little - why - she didn’t know, since the air was quite warm. I really should turn on some music, she reflected, suddenly feeling a need to do something - anything - to dispel the heavy oppressive silence. A silence magnified by the buzzing of insects, leaves stirring softly, moved by an occasional, almost imperceptible whisper of air and the tiny creaks common to an old house. Until the last few months, she’d loved every nook and cranny of the fine old mansion hidden away from the rest of the world on top of a mountain comprised of 180 acres of flat forested terrain. In fact this old house had been her dream for as long as she could remember.