Double Trouble? Double Joy!!!

Four and a half years since it all happened, since the day our simple and quiet lives changed forever. It is so hard to believe it; time flew by so quickly. There I was, lying in bed before the big day, trying to understand when it all happened. As if I was a viewer of a film but missed lots of episodes. I am lying there, trying to understand when my little babies grew to be big boys ready for the big school. Four and a half years happened in a night. And now again, another change, another adjustment. For four and a half years, I had to accept being busy 24/7, and from tomorrow morning, I have to accept all this free time in my hands. Life was surely very strange. My memory is taking me back, and slowly, like a film, everything passes in front of my eyes. How did it all happen? How did it all start? I was a very happy stay-at-home mom, enjoying my time with my baby boy. Life was great; I would take him everywhere: moms-and-tots clubs, crèche when I was exercising, swimming lessons from the age of six months, the lot. I loved it; my son was my whole life, the apple of my eye. I loved him to bits, and I wanted to give him everything, a childhood to remember. Full of lovely memories with just the two of us as Daddy was working long hours. Me and him—everywhere and all the time. He was my company; I was not alone anymore, and I was not feeling lonely. As I was born in a different country and moved to England when I met my husband, all my family was away, and I was missing them. I was missing their company, and at times, with my husband working late, I was feeling lonely. I did not know anyone then apart from the in-laws who were great to me, I admit, but very busy with their business, and I had no friends at the time. However, not any more. My son filled my life. Just looking at him and I felt that the whole world was mine. An amazing feeling, something not easy to put into words. I did enjoy every minute of my pregnancy even though it was not easy. And after the first pregnancy, both my husband and I always said we would like a second child later on. I enjoyed being pregnant the first time, and I was looking forward to a second one when the time was right, when I was ready. A baby brother or sister for our little angel, our adorable son. Life was perfect. Or so I thought. Although we always wanted a second child, I was shocked when I discovered I was pregnant as it happened unexpectedly, I would say, maybe a year earlier than planned. I still wanted to enjoy my first one, to give him time to grow a little more. Therefore, any dreams of me starting a part-time job while my son was at the nursery, as he was due to start soon, were put on hold or, should I say, thrown out of the window? I didn’t mind a lot though because I wanted a second child, so I thought I might as well have it done and finished with. Therefore, when I fell pregnant and as I was getting heavier—a lot more the second time around and a lot earlier—it was with great sadness that I stopped my son’s swimming lessons, one of his favorite activities and one of the many things I had to stop or slow down during the pregnancy. I was huge, especially being very petite; normally, it did not help. I was so tired. Toward the end of the pregnancy, I sometimes had to crawl upstairs because I was so heavy and tired. So different from my first pregnancy when you could hardly tell I was pregnant. God, it seems like it all happened yesterday, but it was four and a half years ago. Time flies by so quickly. Four and a half years flew away like a blink of your eyes. Four and a half years full of countless sleepless nights, nappy changing, feeding, teething, toilet training, walking, and talking. Four and a half years nonstop, 24/7. Looking back now, it feels that all is over so quickly although when I was going through it at the time, it felt exactly the opposite—that time had stopped. It feels unreal, strange. Not that it is any easier now or that you ever stop, but we are busy in a different way. And surprisingly, to be perfectly honest, somewhere inside me, I feel sad that everything has gone by so quickly. Looking at the boy’s old nursery photos at the tender age of eighteen months brings back so many sweet memories. It is true what they say; in time, you forget the tiredness, the stress, the problems, and only the happy memories remain with you.