The Invisible Real Fathers Guide

Why did I say the Invisible Real Fathers? First of all, it takes more than bringing a child into the world to be a father because anybody can be a sperm donor. Secondly, being a real father is just as tough and demanding as being a good mother. Finally, real fathers who are out there taking care of and doing for their children receive very little or no credit as though we do not exist. As a matter of fact, it seems to be understood that we do not. So what is the definition of a real father? Is it pollinating some pretty flower and then marveling at the seed you just created and having nothing else to do with that seed except going to work to provide the basic needs for that seed and some times not even that? Is it producing a whole bunch of those seeds like trophies on a wall? Is it doing something like mentioned in the past couple of questions and then spending just a little time with those seeds at the game later when they are old enough, stuff like that but not much else? Hummm. If you look in the dictionary, the definition for father minus the religious definitions is as follows: 1. A male parent. 2. One deserving the respect and love given to a father. 3. To treat or care for as a father. Now if you read the definition for mother from the same dictionary you get: 1. A female parent. 2. To give birth to; also: PRODUCE 3. To care for or protect like a mother. These are nice definitions but according to society norms I thought the man was suppose to do the protecting. For all intensive purposes it would appear men have been regulated to the posthumous role of mere sperm donor. I think men need a new definition for father. Anyone reading this may have his or her own variation but I think it should be: 1. A male parent. 2. One deserving the respect, love and honor entitled them for being a good caring father who raises their children as well as provides for them 3. The co-producer of child or children with a female parent. 4. The male father figure whom cares for and protects their family and offspring in their care as well as teacher and imparter of wisdom that only a father can do. Likewise, the definition of mother needs to be similarly overhauled. The purpose of this book though is to give support to and act as a guide to the men whom want to be and or are real fathers. I’m talking about all men whom have wanted to escape the stereotypes I just mentioned. The fathers who are truly there for their families and in some cases that just means the children. Contrary to popular opinion, there are plenty of deadbeat moms out there too. You don’t have to be devoid of your children to be a deadbeat parent. It is not as pronounced with women as they are automatically labeled as being the better parent and usually given the children. They have the benefit of support organizations and group’s men simply do not have. There is always someone available to help women in some form or fashion. Men do not have such an infrastructure in place for them. They must at all times be their own infrastructure. It would be great if the infrastructure in place responded to men too as good fathers are not non-existent. Contrary to popular belief there are many men whom would or do gladly take the responsibility of raising their children and they do so with or without a spouse. If we fathers are lucky we have the help of the children’s grandparents. I know I will catch some flack for that remark, but how many of us know of women who have custody of the children whom spend all kinds of money on their nails, clothes for themselves, etc. while the kids are in need of shoes, clothes, going to the dentist, etc. Just because you have custody doesn’t make you an automatic great parent. To that end, there are a lot of fathers out there whom do everything a woman does and sometimes then some to take care of their children but you don’t hear much about them or nothing at all hence the reason In the title I said “Invisible Real Fathers”. We are for all intensive purposes invisible, don’t exist, whatever. There are many of you whom when the teacher first meets you and finds you are the one doing everything, she gives you an astonished incredulous look like she just can’t believe it. You will hear, “Where is the mother”, like it’s a broken record. If you are like me, you have been taking care of your children and know what all women whom are good mothers go through to take care of their children and you take it in stride. By the way, you don’t have to be divorced, separated or whatever to be a single parent. Whether man or woman, you can be married and still be a single parent if you are the one whom does everything. This is an unacknowledged fact. Notice, I did not discriminate. I want to make it clear right now this is not a women bashing book, although men have had to suffer a lot of bashing by all forms of media thanks to the rotten apples that are in every group that may be discussed.