The Fourth Child: Five Decades of Hope

The Fourth Child: Five Decades of Hope 1961 to 2008 From her visit to Auschwitz in 1961 to the election of President Barack Obama in 2008, The Fourth Child has experienced fear, pain, abuse, and success. She overcame many obstacles to become an award winning educator and compassionate provider. Her life has crossed the paths with famous people and some infamous people. She lived in Augsburg, Germany for 3 1/2 years with her family. On January 13, 1962 she boarded a train with her four siblings and mother to Berlin. She saw soldiers with guns pointed at the train through the window. It frightened her. It did not frighten her more than her tour of Auschwitz with her mother. She saw ovens in the concentration camp. Her mother told her if she ever lied, cheated, or stole, she would burn in one of those ovens in hell. Her first recollection as a child was the fear she had from visiting both of those places. She was the only girl and the fourth child. Her mother laughed at her fear and called her stupid with no common sense. These words would resonate with her until she was 14 and found the truth. Her savior was her 8th grade science teacher Cal Koonce former New York Mets pitcher. She always wondered if he had not retired early and went back to his home town to teach….would she be alive? The Fourth Child documents factual historical events that impacted her life, the way she thinks feels and reacts to people and events. Her first experience with death was watching President Kennedy's funeral on television. Her first experience with racism was when she was denied the right to attend her neighborhood school in 1965 because of the color of her skin. Her mother challenged the process and won. She lived in Fayetteville, NC when Jeffrey McDonald was accused of killing his wife and children. She could not believe that anyone could do such a thing. She dreamed of her brother’s death two weeks before it happened his graduation night of high school. She did not tell anyone. When he died she did not cry because she had grieved for two weeks. She loved baseball and the Oakland A’s were her team. She was stationed in California in 1976. She chose Ft. Ord as her first permanent party station so she could watch her championship A’s, however, the owner dismantled the team. She loved sports especially baseball. Her favorite player was Willie Stargell. She loved the way he handled the bat before he hit. She also kept looking for her favorite actor Clint Eastwood, in Carmel. She never found him at his restaurant, The Hogs Breath. Instead 21 years later he would direct her as an extra in a movie called Absolute Power. She never saw Clint in Carmel, but she had a Heisman Trophy winner for a company commander, Pete Dawkins. He kissed her when she won first place in a talent show at Ft. Ord. He never knew, but she used to run every morning during the same time he ran and would keep up with his pace. She was at Ft. Lewis, WA when Mt. St. Helens erupted. She woke up and saw volcanic ash all over the place. Her mother used to say, "Every where you go there is a natural disaster.” She lived in Sinop, Turkey and went sailing on the Black Sea on the Fourth of July 1978. She describes this day as the most peaceful day in her life. In the early 80s was homeless for three days in Orange County California. Her mother refused to help her. When she called her on the phone to tell her what happened, her mother just said, “You figure it out!” She never accepted anymore phone calls from her daughter. During that time she met a guardian angel in Orange County that kept her safe until she did figure it out two days later. She never properly thanked her guardian angel. She went to college in Atlanta with Vikki LaMotta’s son who was her best friend during college. She used to talk to Vikki on the phone when she lived in New York. The last time she talked to Vikki she told her about her son dying in a plane crash. She loved Vikki LaMotta and will always remember when she called her one time when she was going through something and she said, “What’s wrong honey? A mother always knows when something is wrong.” Vikki was beautiful, smart, sweet, and intuitive. She loved Vikki LaMotta. Her daughter was at Benjamin Tasker Middle School the day the sniper shot a student. She prayed that her daughter was fine and safe. This was a time when fear resonated throughout the Maryland, Virginia, DC area. The Fourth Child went on to graduate with a Master’s Degree and PhD. The last time she saw her father alive was when she graduated with her Bachelor’s Degree. He died of lung cancer. His last words to her on that graduation day when she handed him her diploma was, “I had five kids and one girl. You are my first to graduate from college. I am so proud of you. This is worth more than a million dollars for me. I don’t have to worry about you anymore. I know you will be fine.” He died six months later. Her stories will let children know they are not alone in experiencing isolation, pain, fear, and hopelessness. Death by suicide or taking another’s life is not the answer. She learned through experiences that everyone has a divine purpose in life and the brick walls that are placed before them were meant to be knocked down. Randy Pausch was right. “It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how you lead your life.” If you lead your life the right way, karma will take care of itself. “The dreams will come to you.”