“I am uncomfortable living when my wife is now dead. She didn’t need to die, but life failed her and me. Bridget couldn’t consider life without me and I cannot envision life without her. The state’s laws killed my beautiful wife and now I join her so that we will never be separated again. I pray for other young people that the laws change to afford the gift of hope to a sick and dying young person. Asking for and being married shouldn’t be a crime under our circumstances. I pray for you that suffer as Bridget and I have suffered. I now leave to join my wife in Heaven.” Anthony.
Matthew, the seventeen year old husband of Virginia, a fourteen year old, decided that he had to do whatever he could to save his bride. He broke the court restraining order and entered into Virginia’s hospital room to encourage her to live and not surrender to death. He reported that Virginia apologized to him, but said that she couldn’t live without him and she would rather die than face life alone. Matthew could see that his beautiful bride was failing quickly. As he stood holding her hand, she passed. Matthew fell to his knees and begged God to help Virginia, but it was too late. Child welfare arrived with the local police and arrested Matthew. When he was released to his parents, he committed suicide leaving a note:
“I hate a system that denies a dying child love and compassion. I loved Virginia and she wanted to live and survive her cancer. The government killed her and has now killed me too. I am now joining my bride forever and there is nothing child welfare can do to stop me this time.” Matthew.
The three young men and one young woman arranged to see their spouses. When the terms of the visit were announced, it was as if the response had been planned by the remaining four sick children. They each said, “I love you and I am very happy to see you before I die. I have already been told that you cannot touch me or even express your love for me. I am going to die, but in dying, please know and understand that I will always love you.” When I read what each child had said, I realized that the children were quoting Emily when she was at her darkest point in her treatment.
Emily asked if we could take a week off and go to the beach where I first learned that Emily was pregnant.
I smiled and held Emily tightly and asked, “You aren’t pregnant, are you?”
Emily smiled and asked, “Why do you ask?”
I replied, “Just wondering why you would pick that piece of real estate for a getaway vacation. Last time I learned that a little pill was forgotten in a pill box and Carolyn and Eric followed about eight months later.”
Emily twisted her head a little sideways, smiled and softly said, “Would you be upset with me if I was pregnant?”
I replied, “No I wouldn’t! I know that you are experiencing the empty nest syndrome. If you want another child, I would honor you with one because you are a wonderful mother and my best friend and loving wife.”
Emily asked, “You wouldn’t be a little upset that we didn’t discuss it first?”
I replied, “You are still young at forty-three. I am forty-eight and also still young. I could accept another child and I know that child would be loved by our entire family.”
Emily replied, “That’s good!”
I looked at Emily and asked, “Well. Are you pregnant?”
Emily smiled and indicated that she wanted to pack for our short trip to the beach.
I said, “OK, don’t tell me!”
Emily replied, “OK, I won’t.”
I was truly enjoying walking with my beautiful wife, but I had a nagging question still hanging out there. I wanted to know if Emily was pregnant or not. That evening after dinner, Emily showed me her birth control case and I saw that she had ended her period the week prior. She pulled out the next five pills and set them on my night stand and asked me, “What do you want me to do with these birth control pills? We will be here five days.”
I replied, “I don’t know. What do you want me to do with them?”
Emily replied, “I am not pregnant. If I don’t take those five pills, I will get pregnant. Last time you had no choice. This time I am giving you a choice in the decision. If you want another child, then throw out the pills and let’s make love. If you don’t want another child, then return the pills to me and I will keep taking the pills and we will still make love. The decision is yours this time.
I asked if we could discuss it a little more. Emily replied that there wasn’t a lot to discuss. Do we? Or Don’t we? That is the only question on the floor and you, my dear husband are securely in the answer box. “What is your answer”, she asked.
I began to stress out over the decision making process. Like any intelligent man, I made my decision. I turned to Emily and gave her a very big hug and kiss and then said, “Whatever you would like is fine with me.”
Emily then stated, “All right, I will make the decision, but you need to support my decision unconditionally. Do I have your promise?”
I replied, “Absolutely.” I excused myself and went into the bathroom. When I returned, I noticed the pills were no longer sitting on my night stand. I asked Emily, “Where are the pills?”
She replied, “Somewhere, but you won’t know where or what is happening to them. You said that this is my decision. While you were in the bathroom, I made up my mind.”
I replied, “And what was your decision?”
Emily replied, “Let’s make love and enjoy our vacation.”
I would hold Emily closely and softly ask what her decision was. I would receive answers like, “Wouldn’t you like to know!” Clearly, I was being kept out of the decision making loop and it was driving my every thought.
At the end of the fourth day, I had reached my cognitive limit. I begged Emily for her decision. She said that her decision was private and wouldn’t be shared with me. I agreed to spoon with her and wait on her hand and foot so I could get her decision. When I had totally humiliated myself in front of my beautiful wife, she finally cracked and said, “My decision is…”and she paused. I looked frustrated so she finished her statement. “My decision is … that I am leaving the decision up to you!”
I asked Emily what happened to the birth control pills.
She asked me, “Why do you want them?”
I replied, “I have made my decision and I will tell you when I have the pills back on my night stand.
Emily opened her case and returned the five pills to my night stand and said, “Here you go. Now what is your decision?”
I took the pills and threw them into the waste basket and said, “Let’s make love.” Emily crawled over the bed and began to tickle me. I tickled her back and then passionately kissed her and told her how much I loved her, now and forever.
The following morning, I was awakened by soft kisses from my beautiful wife. I reached up, grabbed her and pulled her towards me. I held her tightly and asked, “Are you pregnant yet?”
Emily replied, “Duh!” Emily then began tickling my neck, followed by kisses and then the big question. “Do you really want another child at our age?”
I was in complete shock. What was Emily saying to me? Did she want another child or not? I was totally confused about her question. I decided to stick with my decision and said, “Yes I would like to have another child.”
Emily replied, “Really? Is that your true desire, or are you placating me and saying what you believe I want to hear?”
I responded, “I do want another child with you. Another child would be a blessing upon our lives.”
Emily made a sound like, “Hmmmmmm!” She then wrapped her arms around my neck and held tightly, while saying how much she loved me. She then took my hand and placed it on her abdomen and said, “Daddy, say hi to your next child!”
I looked at Emily and excitedly said, “You are pregnant? I gave her another hug and kiss and then kissed her abdomen and said hello to our fourth child.”