ISIS: The Genetic Conception

“Por favor,” he sobbed. “Please don’t kill me. I don’t have anything to do with those guys at the airport. I have that revolver only because so many people try to rob me.” It sounded rehearsed, like a child at play. It even had the sing-song quality of something he had memorized by rote. “Remember, there’s a lot of robbers in this city,” he continued, “and they always think we have a lot of cash. That’s the only reason I have that gun. I don’t intend any harm to anyone. I swear to you and I swear to God.” I looked at him in disbelief, remembering the two shots he fired at me. The woman was mute in her panic. She had no idea what was going on, clearly, and must have been regretting her choice of taxi at that moment. I understood her fear and looked her in the eyes. “Don’t worry,” I said to her, “this has nothing to do with you. If you do what I ask of you, nothing will happen to you.” I turned to the driver. “As for you—if what you say is true, and you do what I tell you, you might live to see those six children grow up. Keep calm and answer my questions. Take me someplace where we can talk. Don’t try anything, or you know what will happen to you.” He accidentally swerved into the other lane. He noticed it and quickly corrected himself. “Watch the road and pull yourself together,” I said. I put the umbrella close to his neck. “You better drive straight and not attract any attention to yourself. If the police stop us, I will shove this blade through your neck.” “I swear to God, I’ll do whatever you say, sir,” the driver said. “Whatever you say. I’ll take you to a place where we can talk, don’t worry.” “I will give both you guys my word of honor that nothing will happen to you if you do exactly as I tell you,” I said. The lady breathed a little more freely. The driver crossed himself. “I swear to God on the health of my kids that I will do exactly what you say, and so will she. Is that not true, lady?” She said, “Yes, there’s no need to harm anyone. We will cooperate fully with you.” “OK,” I said, “keep driving. Don’t exceed the speed limit. We have a lot to talk about. Just behave like we’re all a good family.” I smiled as I realized they were acting this way because they were terrified. As we drove through the crowded streets, I played with the blade on the umbrella by opening and closing it. Every time the blade sprang out, the driver twitched and jumped a little. I noticed the lady did not take her eyes off of either me or the blade. I examined her, from the exquisite, soft leather of her shoes to the salon-coiffed hairstyle she sported. I saw that she was doing exactly the same with me. She was even noticing the monograms on my socks as well as the rings on my hands, especially the blue topaz and diamond ring, which clearly had caught her attention. I started to scrutinize her more closely. Her sunglasses were expensive, and the perfect manicure on her fingers must have cost a pretty penny. Her clothes were the latest in high fashion. She appeared to be either very wealthy or an aristocrat of the highest class. She removed her sunglasses and looked into my eyes. “Who are you?” she asked. “What do you want? It’s obvious money is not your objective. Your clothing, your watches, your rings—they are all extremely expensive. You’re obviously not a criminal. Far from that.” I smiled and shook my head as I looked at her in silence. I unloaded the revolver. Bullets in one hand, I pointed the revolver towards the roof and pulled the trigger a few times. Every time the hammer clicked forward with a snap, the driver jumped a little. Then I patiently and slowly reloaded it. I replied to her question, “I just returned from a nice but stressful trip to Cuba. I thought I would have a little peace and quiet for a few days, and let my adrenaline levels drop a little. I didn’t plan to have any commotion or trouble. Those two guys at the airport took a shot at me and tried to kill me, only a little while ago.” I pointed to my briefcase. “You see these two tears? Those are from the shooting. Thank God this case is bulletproof; otherwise these two holes would be holes in my head.” I pointed at the third and fourth tears in the corner. “These, however, came from this revolver.” As I gestured with it, I casually tapped the muzzle against the driver’s neck. “This gentleman here had it in the front seat. He claims to have nothing to do with it, and yet he shot at me two times. If I hadn’t acted quickly to protect myself, I would be lying on a metal slab in the hospital with a tag on my toe at this moment.” I shifted slightly in my seat. “I will tell you something, Madame. I have been having a really bad day so far. Generally speaking, it started to get better once you stepped into this taxi. You bring some relaxation to my spirit. I have to ask myself: if all of this hadn’t happened, would I have had the pleasure of meeting you?” She smiled at me in slight confusion. Then in an irritated tone, she asked the driver, “Why did you shoot this man? Are you a cowboy, a Mafioso disguised as a taxi driver, or what?” The driver jerked his head towards her. I shoved the revolver into his neck. “Keep your eyes on the road. Don’t look back here, dammit. What did I tell you before?”